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View Full Version : Girlfriend of three years wanted to move back home so we broke up, No Contact Works!


Trick1004
Jun 15, 2013, 04:09 AM
First off, I would like to thank everyone here on this board for sharing their stories, experiences, and advice. The first day after she broke up with me, I managed to wander over here and spent many hours of my days reading through the experiences others have had. Without finding this site I don't think I would be where I am right now.

Secondly, my experience isn't one that is promoting No Contact as a way to get the person who dumped you back, rather it is (like everyone on here explains) the best way to clear your head and move on with your life without your ex.

So without further ado, what follows is my recent breakup with the girlfriend I was and still am deeply in love with and have been living with for the past three years and I expected to spend many more years with in the future who decided 17 days ago that she didn't love me anymore and was going to move out.

I got home from work three Wednesdays ago and my girlfriend let me know that she was going to move back home to her parents. I asked her was it because she didn't want to live and be in this relationship with anymore and she said you we just didn't have the magic anymore. She started crying telling me she loved me but wasn't in love with me anymore but wanted to keep living with me until our lease was up at the end of the month.

I sat there and listened while she said what she had to say in a horrible state of shock. I felt everything I'd done in the past and was planning on doing for her in the future just get ripped out of me. I was able to pat her on the leg and say OK and wandered upstairs in a complete state of shock. I've been through some bad times in the past but this was the most agonizing pain I have ever felt.

I sat on the upstairs couch for awhile to try and process what had just happened and of course I wasn't able to. I'm a pretty strong and analytical person, but in moments like those emotions just override everything. I couldn't handle it and proceeded to get drunk (not proud of this). Later that evening I told her there was no way I could handle her staying here with me for the next month and she should probably leave now (her parents live 30 minutes away). I told her I would pick up the rent for the month and she could start clearing her stuff out while I was at work. I haven't seen her since that night 17 days ago.

I just got drunk the rest of that week and over the weekend. On Monday when I got home from work there was a note saying she would like to talk. I thought "hooray we can get together and patch things up" and texted her that would be great. Due to our conflicting work schedules we agreed to meet this past Wednesday

I proceeded to get through that work week and got blasted drunk again that weekend with a buddy I hadn't been hanging out with in awhile. I was slowly crawling out of my zombie state of mind when we were supposed to meet and talk a couple of days ago. I was excited the day before but a tiny part of me was screaming at me "don't do it, it's going to reset you back where you were two weeks before." I waffled back and forth two days ago and honestly asked myself if I really wanted to see her and risk the clarity I gained over the past 14 days. I decided it wasn't and told her I wasn't ready to see her.

So now here I am typing two days after that and 17 days without seeing the girl that dumped me. I know everyone has their own situation and that it is one of the worst pains you can ever go through.

I didn't quite follow No Contact for the past couple weeks, but I made it damn clear that I'm looking out for myself now and no longer worrying about the ex. The sooner you embrace that the sooner you can move on. I am really amazed at how much clearer my thoughts are about the relationship.

bigNavySeal
Jun 16, 2013, 05:11 AM
I wish you luck. I majorly regretted my breakup with my ex. Even though I was the one that broke up I spiraled in a major depression. She has moved on since. I'm still recovering (1 year since our breakup). Can't tell you what would be wise, but I think future contact may happen, as it starts to itch from your side. I think generally women move on easier than men. Good luck on your progress, it'll be a difficult time

Trick1004
Jun 18, 2013, 07:36 PM
Thanks bigNavySeal,

You are right, it will be three weeks tomorrow and today I've been getting the urge to give her a call. I'm not sure why that it is and I am certainly not going to do it. It's funny, I have hit the realization that each day is getting better for me and now the itch to contact.

It is kind of hard, she still has a lot of stuff at our place that she is slowing moving out while I'm at work. It amazes me how much emptier the house feels without her stuff in it.

Oh well, I'm not going to scratch that itch. Starting next Sunday, I'm going on a trip in the middle of nowhere where I won't be able to communicate with anyone not on the trip. That should do wonders to clear my head for another week.