Okay, so I dated a guy last year at the time I was totally insane about. We dated on and off for a year and a half. He was my first love. My first kiss and he meant everything to me. Has ALWAYS been there for me. He is a total sweetheart but comes off as annoying and obsessed.

After a year of bull I started dating my best friends ex and we are now at 1 year and 2 months and I love him more than anything, like I don't want to go a day without him. But some days it seems as if I get bored and when I think of my future I imagine it with the guy I dated before him, which is STILL obsessed with me. My boyfriend now was like my best friend.

And then we became sexually active and I just don’t feel the same. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know if it’s because I feel as if I’m supposed to be with my ex, or if I’m just bored, but I don’t want to let go of him. Like I said he has my whole heart and I never want to be without him but I want my ex too. HELP ME.


>Threads merged for the full story<

It was interest how you started talking about both guys. They sounded incredible and then you got to the bad stuff.

I dated 4 openly because I refused to commit to one of them. In that time I got to know each very well which utimately helped me make that decision. Now I am exclusively with one and it was the best thing I've ever done almost.

I always deep down knew who I would pick. You probably do as well. I will tell you that obsession usually turns to control whch can turn into physical abuse. Just keep that in mind.

I wish you the best.

Okay... so last year I dated a guy lets call him "Zack"... So I dated Zack on and off for a year and half... well then I was totally insane about him.. he was my first love.. my first kiss. Just everything.. we go to the same school.. we are exactly alike.. and he lives right down the road which is a plus... Drama of course is what always broke us up... but we were constantly still in love with each other and still are to this day.. last summer he got in trouble with his friends and lost his phone... being lonely and not getting to talk to him drove me to my bestfriends ex named Troy..

Troy and I have been dating for a year and two months now... he is my best friend... I LOVE HIM WITH ALL OF MY HEART... and don't go a second without thinking about him... he lives about 45 minutes away and goes to a different school then me... he makes me happy and keeps me laughing constantly... not a day goes by where he doesn't tell me goodmorning and goodnight or to be safe.. no matter the situation weither we are mad at each other if he is busy etc. he always tells me to have a good day and to be safe.. sometimes we feel as if our sports get in the way of our relationship but we let that slide past us and wait on each other to get finished... Troy is my bestfriends ex... me and her are no longer friends because of him but I feel as if God did that for a reason... but I still now feel as if she is competition and I HATE that... Troy buys me a lot of expensive things... we have become sexually active...

About 3 months ago Zack came back into my life... he sends me heart felt messages and he tells his friends EVEN MY MOM that he misses me and my family and that he would do anything to get back with me and how he would make me happy.. and at first I just brushed it off because I was happy with my boyfriend Troy but now like I miss him too and when I think about my future I picture it with him... its just it would be so much easier to be with Zack considering his parents let him do whatever he wants and I would get to see him ALL the time.. and he gets along with my friends... but Troy just drives me crazy like someone talks about him and it just blows my mind because I love Troy more than anything! I just don't want to make the wrong decision and pick the wrong guy... I need Help ):

Also I wanted to add that I have tried to hangout with Zack just to see if my feelings would change but I just got annoyed and felt like he is obsessed but my friends tell me I only felt that way because I fell as if its wrong to Troy

If Mr. Obsessed feels stronger for you than you do for him, this could lead to problems. He will expect more out of you then you are willing to give and he may become paranoid if you don't want to be around him as much as he wants to be around you.

Do you only feel like you shouldn't be with your best friend during sex or all the time?

May I ask how old you all are?

If your ex is still obsessed with you even though he knew you are/were with another guy then his obsession is strong and this is a problem because in most cases, obsession only give birth to jealousy, controlling ,stalking and abuse. Please take your time in picking your choice.

Its really simple. Just be honest and know its wrong to have a boyfriend you love with all your heart, but cheat on him with an ex, bored or not. Leave the ex alone, or dump the boyfriend.

Yes its cheating when you allow another to come between you and your boyfriend, and you NOT reject his attention since you know what he wants. If that's how you love with all your heart, then it's a LIE.

My boyfriend is the same way your ex is.
Here is what I do when iwant to choose between 2 guys.
Make a list, of things you like about each one.
If you find yourself trying to put more positive things about one person, then you should definitely choose that one.
I hope this at least helps a little.

You're 14 - how many times have you had to make a list, choose between two "guys" you love?