View Full Version : I caught my boyfriend looking up porn on my computer. What do I do?
pregomama101
May 29, 2013, 02:21 PM
He knows I dislike that kind of stuff especially since we are in a relationship but he says oh I have an addiction. It makes me feel like I'm not sexy enough that he has to go watch other girls? We have great sex at least I think so, but I don't know what to do. I don't want to be with a guy that has to watch that stuff. I want to be enough.
Cat1864
May 29, 2013, 03:24 PM
I doubt he has an addiction. However, looking at porn is something you cannot make him stop. You can ask him not to use your computer to look at it. Tell him if he wants to look at porn he has to use his computer, phone, go to the local adult bookstore, etc.
I will caution you not to make a big fuss or make life altering decisions right now. The reason being that you are in the last few weeks of pregnancy (another thread) and your hormones will cause you to over-react. For the next few months it will be very easy to say something you didn't mean to say.
This is not to make you defensive or say that your feelings are wrong. But his looking at porn has nothing to do with you. Men are usually more visually oriented when it comes to arousal than women are. Porn is a tool to jump start the imagination. It is fantasy and has nothing to do with reality. Porn is for nothing more than getting off without having to think about someone else's needs.
Please do not compare yourself to the actresses in porn. They are fantasy and you are reality. He has an emotional attachment to you that cannot compare to what he watches. The two of you share a bond that goes way beyond a computer screen or a magazine.
Try not to fall into the insecurity trap of thinking you aren't enough. If you believe you are special, unique, and sexy (I know it is difficult when pregnant,) then you won't be concerned about what he uses for a quick release.
Good luck.
pregomama101
Jun 2, 2013, 10:00 AM
Thanks:)) that helps a lot! :))))