emopunk7
May 28, 2013, 10:38 PM
Hello!! I hope everyone is fine. I am back with new news. I had been dating a new girl for the last 8 months. This is what happened... She was a woman from my high school days. She needed help studying so I helped and really liked her and she liked me in the process. She was living with someone and had a child. She kicked the father out for me. All was great until I stayed at her place for a month and a half helping her take care of her child while her mom left the country.
Well, I told you her mom was away so I agreed to help her take care of her son. This was 2 months after being official and 5 months after dating. I taught him how to ride a bike, I taught him chess, put him to bed, gave him milk and did his homework with him. I helped him read and I played with him and played basketball with him in the park. The boy is awesome and I would even take him to get haircuts with me.
The problem is that the mom stopped being so affectionate as soon as the boy was introduced to me. She got better with that but then the sexual drive dropped... like to once a week or once every 2 weeks. That's without any sexual touch or feeling of wanting me in between. That hurt. She says that it was because she felt depressed every month or so or it was her period or stress or too tired
You know that I wasn't too trusting. I learned from that and I felt I could really trust her so I never had a problem with her going out or anything...I would even go out alone too without any questions asked by her. We would send a text here and there while we were out so we both felt comfortable.
I liked that except one day she didn't text and got home at 6am but I knew she was with friends and all. At least I think I know. She says her phone was dead... ok fine... she was upset that I cared. She never cares what I do and there are no questions asked at all... then again like I said, I always made sure I text her saying I'm thinking of her or something so she never really had much to question or wonder.
She keeps pictures of her ex. I get that pictures of them together with the boy are fine. I'm reasonable... even pictures of the two of them together for the boy in the future but pictures of the guy alone? Like many of them and getting defensive when I asked about them?
This all began when in the beginning of our dating, she calls me to tell me that she is going camping and her friends want her ex to come along... she wanted to know what I would think... really? That got me annoyed because she is 27 and it should be common sense not to go with your ex for 3 nights camping while we are dating. Of course I will think something...
Then I saw a flyer because he sings and I asked her if she would go to those... she said sure to show him support... that also annoyed me because I want her to support me and if they are not together she doesn't need to be there chilling with him especially if I'm not around. This started it all... I wondered what else does she think is acceptable that clearly is not to me. She finally agreed that if it was not related to the son that she would keep distant... the fact that I convinced that decision bothered me.
She got annoyed by my questions and didn't want me asking anything. Like we would take him to school... suddenly when I was not around the father would take the boy to school. The mom lives like 2 blocks away... why would he suddenly want to drive so far to take the boy to school when the mom easily could and always did. I wondered but she simply said because he wanted to and he could and it is not weird. She would get money from him under the door or to the mother but then she went to his workplace to pick up the money... I wondered why and she got annoyed. He planned to put the boy on a baseball team which I had no idea about. I found out when the boy showed me his new gear. This annoyed me that I didn't know about anything. She also said that because she didn't want her ex's girlfriend to be around her son, she didn't want me at the games for a while until she became close to the girlfriend. Which means I couldn't go to the games and the three of them would spend family time together as if they are together while I'm left out of my wannabe family. After a long talk she changed it to accommodate me but it wasn't done out of her heart.
Bottom line, all questions were related to her ex and it somehow felt like everyday something new arose and lead me to ask another question of how she is going to deal with it... she kept getting annoyed and didn't want to answer. I even asked if she could at least let me know when they get into contact but nothing... she said that I am lucky she tells me anything and that I don't need to know anything. This confused me. She said the father is very inconsistent and that she has no answers because nothing is certain with him. But to me that is more of a reason to be communicative with me as nothing is consistent. Nothing was consistent with them. While I like her and we were great in the beginning, this all took a huge toll and she didn't want to answer and she didn't show she wanted me or anything. I felt like I was being taken for granted.
To me if I had a child and I had someone who was willing to be with me and my situation with an ex, I would willingly answer all of her questions and make her feel comfortable with the situation that she plans on investing her time in. I wouldn't care for my ex and I have nothing to hide so I would be an open book with her.
I know that's a lot but that's the whole relationship... can you shed some light as to what was happening and what was wrong and who was reasonable?
Your friend,
Emopunk4
Well, I told you her mom was away so I agreed to help her take care of her son. This was 2 months after being official and 5 months after dating. I taught him how to ride a bike, I taught him chess, put him to bed, gave him milk and did his homework with him. I helped him read and I played with him and played basketball with him in the park. The boy is awesome and I would even take him to get haircuts with me.
The problem is that the mom stopped being so affectionate as soon as the boy was introduced to me. She got better with that but then the sexual drive dropped... like to once a week or once every 2 weeks. That's without any sexual touch or feeling of wanting me in between. That hurt. She says that it was because she felt depressed every month or so or it was her period or stress or too tired
You know that I wasn't too trusting. I learned from that and I felt I could really trust her so I never had a problem with her going out or anything...I would even go out alone too without any questions asked by her. We would send a text here and there while we were out so we both felt comfortable.
I liked that except one day she didn't text and got home at 6am but I knew she was with friends and all. At least I think I know. She says her phone was dead... ok fine... she was upset that I cared. She never cares what I do and there are no questions asked at all... then again like I said, I always made sure I text her saying I'm thinking of her or something so she never really had much to question or wonder.
She keeps pictures of her ex. I get that pictures of them together with the boy are fine. I'm reasonable... even pictures of the two of them together for the boy in the future but pictures of the guy alone? Like many of them and getting defensive when I asked about them?
This all began when in the beginning of our dating, she calls me to tell me that she is going camping and her friends want her ex to come along... she wanted to know what I would think... really? That got me annoyed because she is 27 and it should be common sense not to go with your ex for 3 nights camping while we are dating. Of course I will think something...
Then I saw a flyer because he sings and I asked her if she would go to those... she said sure to show him support... that also annoyed me because I want her to support me and if they are not together she doesn't need to be there chilling with him especially if I'm not around. This started it all... I wondered what else does she think is acceptable that clearly is not to me. She finally agreed that if it was not related to the son that she would keep distant... the fact that I convinced that decision bothered me.
She got annoyed by my questions and didn't want me asking anything. Like we would take him to school... suddenly when I was not around the father would take the boy to school. The mom lives like 2 blocks away... why would he suddenly want to drive so far to take the boy to school when the mom easily could and always did. I wondered but she simply said because he wanted to and he could and it is not weird. She would get money from him under the door or to the mother but then she went to his workplace to pick up the money... I wondered why and she got annoyed. He planned to put the boy on a baseball team which I had no idea about. I found out when the boy showed me his new gear. This annoyed me that I didn't know about anything. She also said that because she didn't want her ex's girlfriend to be around her son, she didn't want me at the games for a while until she became close to the girlfriend. Which means I couldn't go to the games and the three of them would spend family time together as if they are together while I'm left out of my wannabe family. After a long talk she changed it to accommodate me but it wasn't done out of her heart.
Bottom line, all questions were related to her ex and it somehow felt like everyday something new arose and lead me to ask another question of how she is going to deal with it... she kept getting annoyed and didn't want to answer. I even asked if she could at least let me know when they get into contact but nothing... she said that I am lucky she tells me anything and that I don't need to know anything. This confused me. She said the father is very inconsistent and that she has no answers because nothing is certain with him. But to me that is more of a reason to be communicative with me as nothing is consistent. Nothing was consistent with them. While I like her and we were great in the beginning, this all took a huge toll and she didn't want to answer and she didn't show she wanted me or anything. I felt like I was being taken for granted.
To me if I had a child and I had someone who was willing to be with me and my situation with an ex, I would willingly answer all of her questions and make her feel comfortable with the situation that she plans on investing her time in. I wouldn't care for my ex and I have nothing to hide so I would be an open book with her.
I know that's a lot but that's the whole relationship... can you shed some light as to what was happening and what was wrong and who was reasonable?
Your friend,
Emopunk4