Hello world! My little heart is shattered..

My boyfriend of 6.5yrs walked out of my life last Thursday. He claims that he wasn't in love with me any more. I did not cry in front of him, in fact, I was so mad at him for this.. but now the reality of it all is crashing in on me and I cannot help but feel so awful inside. He had my heart and my soul...

I'm trying to move on, but its just so damn hard! Everything reminds me of him.. everything... I'm trying to get a new job in a different city, but the process is just too slow..

I will admitt, that I was catching myself having thoughts of leaving him, and I know I'd feel just as bad if I were to have ended this.. but I guess he beat me to it.

I Don't WANT HIM BACK... but I don't know how to let go.. or move on... I'm so lost. I've been recontacting friends that I gave up for him, and they are welcoming me back with open arms, but it's just not the same.

I don't know what to do.. I just want to disappear. I've had two job interviews, and at each one I have feel so sick because I know that if I get that job that our relationship is 110% over with no questions asked.. and it kills me.. I'm writing this with tears rolling down my face.. I'm so heartbroken and devistated...

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I had a delayed reaction too. Actually I didn't get angry, I was dazed and said 'oh ok' for about a week, in which I helped him pack. I did all the packing. When he was gone I cried for a very long time. Months.
You MUST allow your friends who have opened their arms take care of you, and stifle the feeling that it isn't the same, because you do need them.

He bought a liqour store with his brother about two years ago and I feel as if I've been single for those two years.. I don't know why this is so upsetting to me.. it's not like we would have hung out today even if we were together.. or make plans for later this weekend.. I never saw him.. I saw him two nights a week maybe.

I haven't had my break down yet, I guess this is it.. it sucks :( :( :( :( :(

You'll be OK. It may not seem like it right now but you will get over it. Sure, it will take time but you'll get there. Early on it seems devastating and like an uphill battle but as time goes by, it gets easier. One great thing you have going for you though, sounds like you have some really good friends. They will help you get over this. Just knowing someone is there for you helps tremendously.

Good luck.

I will admitt, that I was catching myself having thoughts of leaving him, and I know I'd feel just as bad if I were to have ended this.. but I guess he beat me to it.
I wonder if this figures into a lot of your upset. It would in mine.

What do you mean?

Despite your long time together and many good times/memories, things weren't going as well any longer, so you had thoughts of breaking up. But he must have had similar thoughts, one-upped you, and beat you to the punch. I'd be totally pi$$ed, at him and at myself.

He broke up with you, before you could break up with him, so you feel cheated. Also the breakup was not on your terms.

But it is over, there is no 110 percent, it is over, just over. But it has only been a week, it will be better in a month, a lot better in a year. But not in a week

I just feel like 6.5 years were stolen from me... How can someone just walk out on someone else that they "loved"? He never made time for me.. it was n effort to get him to make time for me.. I even tried to help him with his store and be apart of his life.. but no go...

I don't expect these feelings to go away within a week.. I just am a mess I guess.. I don't know which way to turn.. I'm so lost...

What I want... I want him standing at my door step with flowers with a huge apology.. but in order for us to work, he'd have to change his business life around... that'll NEVER happen... ever... ever ever ever...

Hi, I know you must be feeling rather upset. But, they say time heals everything. I am sure you will be fine in sometime. Just give it sometime and please please try to keep yourself occupied.. maybe exercise or some other activity.. till your job sorts itself out

Good luck and god bless.

My ex left me after 13 years, and HE was the one who felt I had wasted all those years. Go figure.
Drop the fantasy of him standing at the door with flowers.
Add fantasies of anger so that you don't cry as much.
Anger has to be one stage of this.
You can even have fantasies of revenge, but don't carry them out of course, unless they don't harm anyone.
My ex wanted to come over and get some small item he had left behind, so I said I would leave it in a box on the porch. I took some really nice things he had given me and smashed them with a hammer and put his item (intact) at the bottom of the box.
He thought that was a terrible thing to do to such nice things. All I know is that I got some satisfaction out of it.

There are five stages of grief and loss. We usually go through them when a loved one has died, but we also go through them after a divorce or breakup of some kind. You are going through those stages now -- in topsy-turvey order, and each stage may be repeated or be of a different length than another..

1. Denial and Isolation: Be sure to spend lots of time with family and friends -- and talk about topics other than him.

2. Anger: You're experiencing this now. I am too, just from reading about what he did to you and how he has treated you.

3. Bargaining: "If I get one of those jobs, our relationship is over for sure [so maybe if I pass on the job possibilities....]"

4. Depression: Not only are you mad, but you're very sad too. You've wasted years on this relationship and now are alone (for awhile). Mourn the loss but don't allow it to consume you and take over your joy in life.

5. Acceptance: You'll get there. You might bounce back to one or more of the other stages as you are reminded of him by a sight or smell or a song, but acceptance will come. You are strong.

Hey everyone, I just thought I would say that today was a good day for me. I'm not 100% ready to say he is my "EX" but its on the right road. Nothing special happened today, just had a good time.. went to lunch with my co-workers and talked about random crap.. found out I didn't get a job I applied for, interviewed for and even had a work interview.. We had no patients that night and I couldn't show my skills.. but apparently I didn't have enough experience for them lol... I'm talking with a long lost buddy.. and that truly makes me feel awesome...

I've come to the realization how wrong we are for one another.. and the "what if's" have run through my head and I think that IF we decide to give it another go, HE has to make the changes... I know he will never change so these "what if's" will never happen.. but I guess I'm just setting down my own standards for them.

And now.. checking my Facebook I saw that his brother posted a picture on his wall.. basically its batman smacking robin with the captions: Robin "But I'm in love..." Batman: "We dont love these hoes"... To me, this speaks more than volumes.. it confirms my suspicion that his brother controls him...

It still makes me angry that I wasted almost 7 years of my life with nothing to show for it.. we never even made it to the engagement part of it all... and it irritates me to no end knowing that he is so spineless to his brother.

Yesterday I was just mad at myself... mad for being so upset. I barely saw him two nights a week... so today was no different than last month.. Its not like I went from seeing him every day with the notion we were hopelessly in-love to him breaking the news and never seeing him..

I just hope and pray that I have more upbeat days like this.. He was a major part of my life, but the more I see things unravel from just talking about it, the more I see how manipulated and weird he is... And I think out of all the crap that happened, knowing how much my close friends and my parents did not like him, the more hurt I feel that I was so blind and dumb for so long.

I can do better and I will do better than him.. but not yet ;)

You will get there... you're already on your way.

Good luck!