I just noticed how he's trying to push me away. He keep telling me how he hates me, how I irritates him, he even told me that I’m just a little trash for him. I was speechless. I cried. All I can think about is I want my family. I live very far from my family (I’m in USA they're in the Philippines). I’m 20, my boyfriend is turning 21. Anyway, after he told me all these hurtful words, I just kept crying and thinking about how we used to be really in love and sweet, but right now, I don’t know if he still loves me. I don’t know if I can still trust him after seeing a random girl's at his phone, seeing those pornography, seeing his lubricant, I even saw he’s planning to buy the flesh sight.

This is really awkward. I never told him I saw these stuff. If I tell him this, he would flip out, and he might kicked me out. He always kicks me out, even at 12 midnight, or evening, he didn’t care. I hate how much I love him, and I’m tired and sick of him treating me like. I kept telling to myself he's going to change because after all the fights in the end he always tell me that he didn’t mean it, he was just really mad. And I kept telling him he wasn’t even supposed to get mad because I’m not doing anything that can get him mad or irritated. (I’m usually quiet, and sweet and I like hugging him) but he still keep telling me he didn’t mean it. I don't know if I’m going to trust him. :( I feel so alone. I feel very depressed. Sometimes all I can think about is dying to end this. Please advise :(

There were times that I just want to hug him but he keeps refusing. He keeps saying "hold on" or instead he pretends that he's sleeping. (Isn’t that ****ed up) I want to punch him in the face but at the same time I’d rather be quiet than starting a drama. :( I want to be a bigger person than him :( he's so controlling. :( I don’t know if he’s not even afraid to lose me. :(

If you mention it to him, stand up for yourself and don't let him push you around like your nothing

If you mention it to him, stand up for your self and don't let him push you around like your nothing
I always stand up for myself but there's always this time that I'm speechless shocked and rather not to say anything because he's really mad it scares me,

Don't be afraid to say what's on your mind. The sooner you get it over with, the better you will feel

If you had friend or family to support you then you could leave and find out if he misses you enough to change. You should leave any way. Have a place to go to when he get mad and kick you out you don't have to go back.

It you that allow him to treat you this way, and it you who have to stop it.

Find some self respect and leave him and don't look back. Has he started hitting you yet? If not, I doubt it will be long before that starts to happen.

He's a controlling, abusive jerk. You don't love him - you are infatuated with the idea of being in love. It's frustrating, isn't it? You just want a loving relationship yet he's unecessarily mean and hurtful to you.

Kicking a young woman out of the house at midnight is really dangerous. He clearly doesn't care if someone kidnaps, kills or rapes you or if you come to some other harm. He doesn't worry about how scared you are, or that you have no place safe and comfortable to go for the night.

You need to move out. This relationship is a nightmare and if you marry him it will continue to get worse until he seriously hurts or even kills you. If you must, return to the Phillapines to your family until you can make other arrangements to live here without depending on a man for your housing and support. If you are in school, go to the student affairs office or housing or counseling - whatever department they have - and tell them your situation. Just explain, "I am living with my boyfriend who is abusing me. He locks me out at night and does other inappropriate things and it's not safe for me to stay there. I have no place to go and my family are out of the country". Ask what help they can provide. They probably have resources available to help you get some form of short-term housing until you can figure something out.

If you are not in school, call any doctor's office that cares for women as most have connections with battered women's shelters and similar resources, and can provide you some information.

Don't tell him you're leaving or breaking up with him. Just wait until he's out of the home and get all your stuff out and leave. Change your phone number and do not tell him nor mutual friends you have with him where you are going. Volitile people get more dangerous when they are losing the relationship.