View Full Version : How do I get over my ex that cheated on me?
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 12:01 AM
Me and my boyfriend have been dating on and off for a year and 4 months. I love him so much and I tell him and show him all the time but for like a month straight he's been acting fishy so I log on his Facebook and he was seeing somebody else and sleeping with her while we were trying to work on things and he would sleep with me as well. I was really hurt when I found out so I confronted him he denied it at first but of course I took him back but things aren't the same! How do I move on! Graduation is around the corner and he's my walking partner! How do I get through this!! I need help!!
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Homegirl 50
May 20, 2013, 06:46 AM
Why did you take him back. Of course things are no different because he knows he can cheat and treat you poorly and you will just take it. All you have to do is walk with him, you don't have to talk to him. But you need to break up with him.
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 08:01 AM
Why did you take him back. Of course things are no different because he knows he can cheat and treat you poorly and you will just take it. All you have to do is walk with him, you don't have to talk to him. But you need to break up with him. He had me convinced that we were broken up at the time he was seeing her but he was still saying he loves me and all that bs so of course I fell for it! It was true I talked to her and me and him did take a break for like a week or 2 but still we saw each other.. It's still wrong on what he did right even though we weren't together but he was still seeing me?
Homegirl 50
May 20, 2013, 08:55 AM
So he's a cheater! He was playing both of you. Having a boyfriend is not that serious that you allow yourself to be made a fool of, to be cheated on. He will do it again because he knows he can convince you to believe anything.
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 10:31 AM
So he's a cheater! He was playing both of you. Having a boyfriend is not that serious that you allow yourself to be made a fool of, to be cheated on. He will do it again because he knows he can convince you to believe anything.
You're so right thank you
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 02:56 PM
You're so right thank you how do I get over him?
Homegirl 50
May 20, 2013, 03:02 PM
You stay busy doing other things. Hang out with friends... There is no magic pill. It takes time, but go no contact. No calls no text, nothing.
mariecarol108
May 20, 2013, 04:22 PM
how do I get over him?
It takes time, but stay busy, go out and have fun with your friends, delete his number and erase him from your life. Instead of texting him just write down how you feel and what you would say to him in a diary. I know it's hard, and I know everyone says this but it does get better in time :)
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 07:38 PM
It takes time, but stay busy, go out and have fun with your friends, delete his number and erase him from your life. Instead of texting him just write down how you feel and what you would say to him in a diary. I know it's hard, and i know everyone says this but it does get better in time :) Im going to try.
J_9
May 20, 2013, 07:53 PM
This just happened to my daughter, although she wasn't sleeping with her boyfriend, (she's 19 and still a virgin). What she did was blocked his number from her cell phone and blocked him from her FB account. She's been keeping herself busy by going to the mall with friends, going to movies, etc. It has helped her tremendously to just keep busy and to remember that a boy doesn't define her. She doesn't need a boy in her life, just a lot of friends, male and female.
bones252100
May 20, 2013, 08:03 PM
You have the rest of you life to get over him. Obviously, he is not what you need. Graduate, get on with YOUR life & better opportunities will appear down the road. There is no law or rule that says you must be attached to anyone at this time. You are YOU. Be proud of that & let no person change your course. As long as you are available, some one else will get interested in you. When you are tied down to one person you are not available. Some day in the future, you will meet the right man. By then, you will know what you really want in life.
This bit of wisdom came from a 63 year old married man.
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 08:32 PM
This just happened to my daughter, although she wasn't sleeping with her boyfriend, (she's 19 and still a virgin). What she did was blocked his number from her cell phone and blocked him from her FB account. She's been keeping herself busy by going to the mall with friends, going to movies, etc. It has helped her tremendously to just keep busy and to remember that a boy doesn't define her. She doesn't need a boy in her life, just a lot of friends, male and female. honestly I have no more friends he chased them all away
honestly I have no more friends he chased them all away thank you for all your help I just don't know how to get my friends back and on top of it they're all leaving to there university's
J_9
May 20, 2013, 08:41 PM
Yeah, that's tough when a boyfriend separates you from your friends. It's also a very very red flag.
Call some girls up, see if they want to go to a movie, etc.
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 09:11 PM
Yeah, that's tough when a boyfriend separates you from your friends. It's also a very ver red flag.
Call some girls up, see if they want to go to a movie, etc.
Ill try that... I'm just really mad at myself because I'm afraid to leave him.. He scares me honestly.. He's leaving this summer so hopefully things will go good for me after graduation
I don't want to block him I just want to be strong about it.. I want to be mature but how do I break this nasty habit..? Should I get a bunch of people to text?
J_9
May 20, 2013, 09:26 PM
He scares you? He's abusive, if that's the case. Aren't you better than that? Of course you are!
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 09:33 PM
He scares you? He's abusive, if that's the case. Aren't you better than that? Of course you are!!
He's a wrestler so he's very strong and a little to strong even if he's not fully aware! And it scares me he's also a fighter so I don't know I'm just afraid..
J_9
May 20, 2013, 09:34 PM
You should NEVER be afraid of your partner honey. They should complete you. Make you happy, not make you afraid.
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 09:40 PM
You should NEVER be afraid of your partner honey. They should complete you. Make you happy, not make you afraid. I know I'm reaching out to some friends from my track team right now! This guy messed me up mentally and physically and now I need to find me again who I was before I dated that a hole that cheated! And treated me like I was nothing!! :( I admitted to my girls that I have a problem and they are willing to help! I hope I get through this because right now it feels impossible
J_9
May 20, 2013, 09:47 PM
Sounds like you have a plan! Good for you!
I know it feels impossible, but it's not. Is it going to be easy? Heck no! But you can do this. I know you can!
Block him from everything. FB, cell phone, etc. Get with those girls, get your life back on track and regain yourself esteem.
Again, is it easy? No, it's hard, but it is a life's lesson. Something you can learn from. I'm happy to hear that your girls are willing to help. That is a step in the right direction.
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 10:03 PM
Sounds like you have a plan! Good for you!
I know it feels impossible, but it's not. Is it going to be easy? Heck no! But you can do this. I know you can!
Block him from everything. FB, cell phone, etc. Get with those girls, get your life back on track and regain your self esteem.
Again, is it easy? No, it's hard, but it is a life's lesson. Something you can learn from. I'm happy to hear that your girls are willing to help. That is a step in the right direction.
I already feel so much better thank you. I was just so afraid of change! He's my longest relationship so Im hooked.. He had me in tears all weekend today was the first day I ate.. It wasn't a lot but it was something... After I get over him I don't think ill be able to trust again... Every guy I date either takes advantage of me or treats me like dirt! And I don't even pick the most hottest guys either!! So I don't know what to do when I date hot guys I get played when I date not so hot guys I get played!! I'm confused should I wait a while
I kind of get that I'm only 18 and guys are immature right now so should I date older guys when the times right or just let something come to me
J_9
May 20, 2013, 10:09 PM
Change is scary. I get that. Heck, I went back to college when I was 38, that's scary, when everyone else is 18-20.
Yes, you need to wait a while. You don't need a guy to define you. You are at the prime time of your life! You need to be out there having fun, you don't need to be tied down.
Like I said earlier, my daughter is going through the same thing. She's now spending the night with a friend who she hasn't had contact with in almost a year. Forget dating for now. You don't need a boyfriend, you just need friends.
Yes, wait a while... a long while. Make a list of what you want out of a boyfriend and what you don't want. Date around without being serious. Don't have sex. Actually, refuse to have sex.
You deserve to be treated like the princess that you are, don't settle for less.
Insecuresenior
May 20, 2013, 10:18 PM
Change is scary. I get that. Heck, I went back to college when I was 38, that's scary, when everyone else is 18-20.
Yes, you need to wait a while. You don't need a guy to define you. You are at the prime time of your life! You need to be out there having fun, you don't need to be tied down.
Like I said earlier, my daughter is going through the same thing. She's now spending the night with a friend who she hasn't had contact with in almost a year. Forget dating for now. You don't need a boyfriend, you just need friends.
Yes, wait a while.... a long while. Make a list of what you want out of a boyfriend and what you don't want. Date around without being serious. Don't have sex. Actually, refuse to have sex.
You deserve to be treated like the princess that you are, don't settle for less.
Thank you sooo much!! I was beginning to lose hope but you just helped me so much! I do need to get mentally fit before I date again! He was the cause of my depression:( I was never good enough to him when in somebody else's eyes there was nothing wrong with me! I suffered hard core! I'm a track runner not a body builder! He wanted me to be buff like him when track runners aren't buff they're cut! I just wasn't ever good enough! He was crazy
J_9
May 20, 2013, 10:28 PM
Yeah, he was crazy! Duh! He was crazy to cheat on a girl like you! You seem so sweet and wonderful, but he knocked you down. He's a control freak if he expects you to be like him. You are you. Plain and simple. You should never expect your partner to change. You accept them for who they are. If you can't accept them, then they aren't right for you.
For now, have fun. Go out with the girls. Meet guys, but remember that sex isn't what makes a relationship. Pregnancy happens no matter what precautions you take. You don't want to be tied down to a boy who is not your soul mate for the rest of your life.
Clemintine
May 21, 2013, 12:09 AM
Got to sever the contact if you're serious about this. Unfriend them from social sites, and delete them from your phone, and if he's texting you too you would need to block him so as to not be dragged into it.
Think about why you want to stop texting him, remember the reason every time you think about sending a text.
I mean there's lots left unsaid in this question: How long have you been apart, what IS the reason you want to stop texting him, yadda yadda, but as my first reaction on answering your question this is my advice, and I wish you luck.
joypulv
May 21, 2013, 01:06 AM
Why did you start a new thread? You received plenty of good advice yesterday.
I suppose that continuing to write here helps... but the above responder took the time to answer without knowing anything about you, all over again.
The answers are going to remain the same!
What do you mean, get other people to text? HIM? NO, you do NOT do that!
Get a grip girl. We all go through this. If you can't handle it as a teen then what happens when you are older, such as a young mother?
This is what FAMILY and FRIENDS are for - to gather around you and keep you busy and resolved to stop contacting him.
JudyKayTee
May 21, 2013, 06:08 AM
J9, that's a sign of a female raised by a strong mother, a female with confidence and direction. Not everyone has that (unfortunately).
Too many women out there need to "belong" to someone to have self worth.
It's sad.