I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. He pursued me whilst married and seeing potentially 2 other woman. Anyway cut to a long story short we fell in love, he left his wife (not my asking), he said he'd never loved before asked me to marry him. I found out few months into relationship he had been seeing someone else while I was falling for him and it caused major upset. I already knew he was a cheat but I truly felt I was different.

We split after 1 year and 5 months, and he started seeing someone after 2 weeks split after 2 months seen someone else and then made his moves on me telling me we have magic etc etc. I believed him and thought we were going to make a proper go of it. He soon changed his mind after a few disagreements, normally over something he said or something he didn’t do. Anyway we have split again and he wants to be friends but openly admits he doesn’t want to be on own and will pursue a replacement (for someone to talk to because he has no friends) very quickly.

I'm trying to accept that he is all for himself and I deserve better. He looks after his own needs before anyone else. He stayed in a marriage for 20 years believing he was doing right by his kids and being a serial cheater for his own happiness disregarding the fact his wife could have been with someone who truly cared. It was off course all her fault he cheated. She didn’t make him happy. And he couldn’t make her happy.

Thoughts please xx

Thoughts? He's proven himself to you over and over... what more do you need? He's a bum and not worth your time.

He is a liar and a cheater, you already know that. Leave the bum alone.

You knew he was a liar, cheater, player, and all kinds of nasty stuff so maybe we should question your judgment if not your sanity.

Those are my thoughts, sorry to be blunt.

You get some self respect and self love. When you realize your own worth, you will leave this clown alone.

Hi Emily:

Your feelings for him will fade. However, next time, try to find someone who is prepared to love you. Let me explain.

The most common source of problems in relationships is that the couple misinterpreted their mutual feelings of attraction as love. This normally results in the couple trying to keep up appearances after about 5 years, and wondering where the love went.

It is important to know that attraction is an emotional feeling that may fade, while love is a promise that has nothing to do with attraction. Love is a promise to do 4 things.
1. To accept everything that you know and do not know about her now.
2. To accept her regardless of what happens in the unknown future as you both age - for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health for as long as you both shall live. Even if she is disfigured by an accident or crippled by illness, you accept her.
3. To forgive her later. Since neither of you is perfect, you both depend on each others' forgiveness.
4. To encourage her to improve. This 4th one gives purpose to your relationship - otherwise it will get boring.

If you are both ready to make and keep these promises to each-other, then you are ready to love. When you keep them, you demonstrate your love for each-other. After you formally make your promises at your wedding, you complete or consummate these promises with sexual intercourse. Every time that you subsequently have sexual intercourse, you reinforce your promises – it is truly a wonderful and mutually satisfying experience.

If you have sexual intercourse before making your promises, then you show her that you are capable of justifying forsaking her for a younger, shapelier rival when she gets older. If you are able to restrain yourself when your attraction for her is at its highest, then you show her that you are capable of resisting the rival that will inevitably come.

Source: Attraction is a feeling. Love is a Promise. By Grenville Phillips, president of Walbrent College. (LoveIsAPromise.wordpress.com)