Ok, long story short, met a girl, became friends for a few month, she left the country for two year (we didn't speak), she came back, we started dating for four months, she left my city for a job three months ago (she is three hours away).

We still talk, see each other occasionally, still miss each other. I have increasingly started to think of her as the one that is going to get away and I really don't want that to happen.

We are really good together and have told each other we love each other (before and since she left). When we are together it is amazing, but there is no end in sight for the long distance and she works an insane number of hours at her job. She has told me that she thinks it is not fair to me that she doesn't have enough time for me and that I should date other people. She used to text me a lot, but since she said that she has cut down her contact with me A LOT. I hardly hear from her, although I am scheduled to be in her town in a few weeks. I know she has a lot of work to do, so, I don't really push talking to her all the time, although I wish I could.

I am afraid of her doing what she did when she left the country and stopping all communication with me. I have contemplated moving to her city, but she is still completely unsure where she is eventually going to move (her job moves her around a lot, and she may actually end up back where I am now), and she has said many times that she wants to move back, however she feels that she can't get as good a job as she has now. I went and surprised her recently with a visit and she was so happy to see me and thanked me so much for coming and we had a really good trip, but she told me to not make it a habit.

I know that I could date other people... I know that she could date other people, I just feel that she is becoming the one that got away and I really don't want that to happen right now.

Can anyone give me any advice?

I sounds like she working so hard its beginning to take over her life and her brain. My advise get her to live a little and show her your in this 100% and are going make her happy because the thing with a workaholic is they start thinking things through too much and adding too much logic (basically follow their heads instead of their hearts) and that's where the doubts come from

No, you don't show someone you are going to make them happy. Life doesn't work that way. People make their own happiness, and if you intersect, fine - that's a good relationship.
She obviously puts her work first. No matter what you feel about her getting away, you have to force yourself to accept that, and if she warned you to not make a habit of surprise visits, that means DON'T DO IT AGAIN. You are lucky she didn't have a date, or relatives visiting, or even more hours to work that week. It could have easily been a disaster.

People 'get away' by all sorts of ways, even being right in your house with you, of course. She knows by that surprise visit how you feel, I'm sure. She has made it clear that you shouldn't count on her. She is being fair and forthright. She isn't lying or being coy. That's a valuable person, aside from the chemistry you feel. Your odds are better by keeping your distance and keeping contact infrequent and short than they would be by puppy dogging her. During those short communiques, let her know you absolutely adore her, regardless of what she is doing where, and you too. Feelings, but no pressure.

I know, I will not continue to make surprise visits, the ONLY reason I did this time is because I knew that it was a perfect time and she would be free to see me. I don't see that happening again anytime soon, and that would be the only reason I would make another visit to see her. It is fairly obvious to see that she is not communicating with me in order to allow me to move on. I think you are probably right, I need to start keeping my distance, she may end up being the one that got away, but if I force it, she may be the one who RAN away. I really do think you are right in that it is a great character sign that she is being honest and open with me, I have to respect that... and, in a way, her actions are allowing it to have a chance in the future. I guess it is my time to follow suit and accept that she is getting away now... is there anything that I can do?

I don't see why you have to 'accept that she is getting away.. ' It isn't clear what the future holds. You have to accept that she might find someone else, or change her mind about you, or leave the country, or die, or you might do any of those too. Stop thinking in terms of 'getting away' like she's a fish.
What can you do? I told you. Let her know once in a while (every few weeks at most) that you absolutely adore her and any time she has free time to just call and you will be there. Keep it infrequent and keep it short and keep it light and funny.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/girl-left-new-city-but-we-still-talk-737376.html

Same girl? Doesn't matter. She already has gotten away but cheer up and build a happy life for yourself and be open to other options to enjoy dating and romance besides just her.

Yeah... same girl, we went a couple of weeks/almost a month not talking really moving on, and she started contacting me again out of the blue and ended up being in the same city for a day and we hung out. Then, through work, I went to her city a couple of times and we saw each other again. I am pretty sure she has already gotten away and I just haven't accepted it yet... Pretty sure that the surprise visit... although, amazing and really fun, kind of spelled the end of the relationship for now. That was all I could do for her, save moving to where she lives... which is a bad idea. It is really in her court now, she has decided to go no contact and I will respect that... maybe in the future we can see each other again, but I am not too optimistic about it. This scenario is kind of unique in that I can actually realize that she is getting away now, rather than looking back at it and realizing it later. I contacted her for the last time last night, I left a voicemail saying that I hope work is going well and that she is happy and that I never thought anything she did was unfair and that I always had a good time with her... it is a strange feeling, but, I guess it is over for now and maybe sometime in the future we can start things up again...


I don't see why you have to 'accept that she is getting away..' It isn't clear what the future holds. You have to accept that she might find someone else, or change her mind about you, or leave the country, or die, or you might do any of those too. Stop thinking in terms of 'getting away' like she's a fish.
What can you do? I told you. Let her know once in a while (every few weeks at most) that you absolutely adore her and any time she has free time to just call and you will be there. Keep it infrequent and keep it short and keep it light and funny.

You are right too, I should have said I contacted her for the last time for a couple of weeks, I will respect her no contact and do what you said and keep it light and fun. I am serious when I say we didn't speak to each other for two entire years and then met for coffee and remembered every inside joke we had and talked for two hours... it sucks having to let it go, but I think it is the only answer right now