I have a litte boy who will be 2 yrs old next mo. I was married to his father for a short period. When I was 6 mo. Pregnant with my son his father beat me while using bath salts. I have had an order of protection against him and he has not seen him since he was 2 mo. Old. We were ordered to go to mediation where the father was given supervised visits if he received counseling as well as a long list of other things he did not follow through with. He is over $7000 behind in Child support which I do not care about and would rather not receive any money from him. I am getting married in a few weeks to the only man my son knows as his Dad. The father is nowhere to be found and even the police are looking for him. I would very much love to change my sons name as my new husband wants to adopt him but I'm sure cannot happen without the fathers consent. Is there anything I can do?

Don't be so sure. Also, don't think you need to change his name to allow your husband to adopt.

What you want to do is have your new husband adopt your son, once he qualifies as a step father (meaning you get married for a period of time). Once the adoption is approved by the courts, your son's name will change.

The court will require that you show a good faith effort to contact the father. If you can show the police have looked for him unsuccessfully that may satisfy the courts. What you need is an attorney who knows the local courts and can guide you through the adoption process. Also tell you whether its feasible. If what you have told us is true, I don't see any reason why a court won't grant the adoption.

Thank you very much! Unfortunately it is all true. We are not in a hurry to change his name but considering options for later. You have been very helpful.

Here are the pertinent Arkansas statutes:


"9-9-204. Who may adopt.
The following individuals may adopt:
...
(4) A married individual without the other spouse joining as a petitioner, if the individual to be adopted is not his or her spouse; and if:

(i) The other spouse is a parent of the individual to be adopted and consents to the adoption;
..."

"9-9-207. Persons as to whom consent not required.
(a) Consent to adoption is not required of:
(1) a parent who has deserted a child without affording means of identification or who has abandoned a child;
(2) a parent of a child in the custody of another, if the parent for a period of at least one (1) year has failed significantly without justifiable cause

(i) to communicate with the child or
(ii) to provide for the care and support of the child as required by law or judicial decree;
(3) the father of a minor if the father's consent is not required by § 9-9-206(a)(2);
...
(b) Except as provided in §§ 9-9-212 and 9-9-224, notice of a hearing on a petition for adoption need not be given to a person whose consent is not required or to a person whose consent or relinquishment has been filed with the petition.
"
"9-9-212. Hearing on petition -- Requirements.

(a) (1) Before any hearing on a petition, the period in which the relinquishment may be withdrawn under § 9-9-220 or in which consent may be withdrawn under § 9-9-209, whichever is applicable, must have expired.

(2) No orders of adoption, interlocutory or final, may be entered prior to the period for withdrawal.
(3) After the filing of a petition to adopt a minor, the court shall fix a time and place for hearing the petition.
(4) At least twenty (20) days before the date of hearing, notice of the filing of the petition and of the time and place of hearing shall be given by the petitioner to:
(A) Any agency or person whose consent to the adoption is required by this subchapter but who has not consented;
(B) A person whose consent is dispensed with upon any ground mentioned in § 9-9-207(a)(1), (2), (6), (8), and (9); and
..."

Thank you so much for your help! This is a great website!