My boyfriend and I are at the same university and have been going out for a year and a half. Our families are very different, he is Canadian, I even though I was born here my parents are very very Italian in their traditions/beliefs etc.

I have kept the fact (from everyone) that my parents own and rent out to others the house that I have lived in for the last few years. My family decided to do this because it was the best option financially (for me and my sibling) to go to school. We pay the bills with the rent from other tenants, my sibling and I look after the house and at the end our family is planning to sell it. This sets us financially even with possibly a little profit vs. paying rent money that my family will never see again. My parents started with nearly nothing and are by no means rich so have gotten by through careful investments.

I kept this from him because I was embarrassed. I was worried that he would think I am spoiled, and I won't deny, I am lucky that my parents would practically get us our own house (even for a short time). And I appreciate and thank them for what they do, I don't ask them for expensive things, I help them when they need it... (In addition to the fact that I never even fathomed that we would get a house). I was also worried that he would judge me for being from a family that is so poor that they have to go to these lengths of planning and investing their money to get by, (while all my friends parents just pay their kids rent).

He has stayed over many times, and my living situation was never brought up. But I feel terrible, I feel like a terrible person because it has been so long and I know I should have told him because I love him with all my heart, and I don't want to keep secrets from someone I can honestly see a future with. But I also do not want to hurt him. I don't want him to think I don't trust him because I do. He was the first person I really trusted with very important things.

I see it's a problem with me, something I had experienced throughout childhood of never fitting in with kids at school, then coming home and in attempts to be like others, never pleasing my parents either. (Parents didn't let us get enrolled in sports like others, go on play dates with other kids, hang out with other kids after school, sleep overs etc.) It's like I am always trying to fit in and failing... I thought this would stop once elementary school was done... but it continues except its going to make me hurt the one person I love.

I am afraid if I tell him he will not be able to trust or love me anymore. My boyfriend had an issue in high school years ago about a girl he was dating lying to him when he outright asked her if she did something he was openly against and he broke up with her.

Please, I need advice, I really really don't want to hurt him, or lose him.

I personally see no issues and as you get closer and its raised then be truthful. If you want to tell him then do so. But don't fret or worry because if he makes a big deal of it then he is the idiot with issues and not you.

This is a matter of maturity not honesty. I mean who volunteers the name of the landlord, parents or not.

This is not an issue and I see no reason he needs to know, has he asked questions about it, or have you lied about it.

This is much ado about nothing. When we date people, we don't immediately spew out to them our family financial arrangements and whether we own or rent our homes or how our parents help us finance our education. To do so would violate a reasonable expectation that your relatives have for some privacy in their financial affairs.

If it's bothering you that you have not told him, then tell him, "I wanted to share with you that my parents own this house. When I was a little girl, it was just our family home but now we rent it to boarders for additional income to help finance school."

I doubt he will judge you for having hard working, sacrificing parents who do what they can to improve the prospects financially for their children. If he does, he's not worthwhile to date because that would be ridiculously shallow.

As for your embarrassment, you need to stop. Financial life is hard for most people at one point or another and it's a mark of honor when people persevere through the hard times. What we can control in life is the decision to work hard and do our best. Judge your parents and your family financial history based on that work ethic, not the trappings they got. As you are old enough to know, some people are born to an easier road - that's not an accomplishment, just good luck. I wouldn't look down on someone for being lucky, nor for making the best of a difficult situation.

Your parents are very impressive in how hard they work, all they've accomplished, their entrepreneurial spirit and their willingness to sacrifice. That's something to be proud of and there's no place for shame at all.

He never directly asked about it, except one time he asked about home much the rent was.. and I was so shocked that I responded with the amount we were charging.. but didn't say anything more.. ugh :(

Also, this is a different house from the one we used to live in with our parents, its in the town where our school is.. my parents made this decision because both my sister and I would be attending the same school and we only had one car (my parents need it), we didn't have enough money for another one or insurance, and gas for two cars would be impossible.

I am afraid that he will not trust me, because I've kept this from him for so long. I don't want to make him feel that way ever, not just because I could lose him, but because I would hate to have made him feel as though he wasted time with me and can't trust me, or maybe others after this :( He really is so special to me, I just don't want to have hurt him.

Why worry about what if's from him when you can talk and find out. If he can't handle the truth then he has issues beyond what's reasonable and mature since its none of his business, unless you chose to inform him on such private family matters.

I would be silent about such matters until a DEFINITE commitment has been made. And I wouldn't be worried about HIS reaction at this time. The privacy of your own parents is what comes first.

Again, this is your parent's personal financial business. Parents do a variety of things to get their kids through school. When you are ready to tell your boyfriend you can just tell him, "you once asked me about the rent here and I wanted to let you know that my parents take care of housing for my sister and I. When they saw the cost of housing, they made the decision to invest in this building and offset the cost of our housing with rent from the other tenants. I'm always a little uncomfortable talking about my parent's financial decisions because it feels like their personal business, but I don't want to give the impression I'm scraping for rent here, either." He'll likely just think your parents are really smart to think of such an ingenious way to offset the huge costs of housing for two college kids.