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Swatidipak
May 1, 2013, 05:39 AM
Hii I am name is sweety.I am love with my boyfriend he is marathi and I am south indian,but the problem is my parents and my family are against the intercaste marriage.my boyfriend family do not have problem and are ready for marriage.but I am convencing my parents and family so lot but they are not listening.I cannot live without him he is very nice in nature and caring person.I really cannot loose him...
Please suggest what to be done and how to move on further situation and in what way I can convenience my parents.

JudyKayTee
May 1, 2013, 06:07 AM
If you cannot live without this man your choice is very clear - marry him and defy your parents. As far as persuading them, I don't think anyone here has any magic words that will change their minds.

What is their objection? Caste? Something else? Your age, his age, your levels of education?

Jake2008
May 1, 2013, 07:26 AM
So this is a 'love' marriage for the two of you, not a marriage where your parents have chosen or, where they have approved your mate.

We get a lot of questions here about your situation. Some parents come around and accept the union, others never will, and it causes a great deal of hardship starting even before the marriage.

To be abandoned, literally, from your family, if they do not come around, is something only you can decide. I'm not sure that anything other than caste is to blame. It seems no amount of education or accomplishment comes above caste, when it comes to approval of the parents.

Should you decide to marry this man against your parents wishes, I'm sure you're already well aware of what the outcome/consequences will be. I hope you can accept that.

Should you decide not to cross that line, and marry the man you love, be prepared as well, because many in your shoes are not prepared to live with the anguish that follows.

If you can find a university where there are women's groups who can help you, it may be possible to gain the support and insight you need in order to make such a decision. Maybe make enquiries to other women and/or families you know who have also gone through what you are going through now.

I wish there was more to offer, but it seems more often than not, it is a tough decision either way.

smkanand
May 1, 2013, 09:36 AM
Hi, swati, tell your parents that both of belong to same religion. Your culture and festivals will be almost same. Plus you belong to southern part of country so culture is even close than north region. He and his parents are agree so get married, do civil marriage or arya samaj wedding with vedic rituals, I'm sure your parents will understand, if not today but sure in few months. Good luck.