Zea
Apr 27, 2013, 01:51 AM
This kind of feels weird. I mean, I am not used to complaining. Usually, I would suck it up and somehow adapt myself, later if not sooner, eventually. But there is nothing wrong with asking for an advice, right?
First of all, at the beginning of the second-semester me and two of my friends (a boy let’s call him B, and a girl let’s call her G) had a class together. G and I were friends but B and I meet for the first time in that class. He is a talkative, straight forward, and a pushy kind of person. He was nice though. That out- shone all his flaws. It was a good reason for me to friend him.
So, he starts being really polite and all smileys whenever he spoke with me. He had a crush on me. You could tell when someone treats you differently; it’s not hard to tell when someone likes you. Also, he would tell me, only me, that he likes a girl and wants to ask her out. Maybe he wanted me to be jealous? He told me this many times. What is the purpose of him telling me that, if not for an advice? Even though he could have told G, he knew her better anyway.
I didn't give him any special attention (by saying this you should realize that I have been through this a few times). And so I must tell you that I have never had a boyfriend, never been in a relationship, and have had a crush only once and that was last year. I don’t want to be with anyone, not while still in high school. My experience is very limited. No, I have no experience in this at all. But, I learn from observing others and collecting information. And without having to go through the experience myself I can say that I learned few things. Still, I would never say that I know more than someone who’s been there themselves.
After a while, he withdraws from the entire act and becomes more hateful towards me. Saying that I am a “bad friend” and I am “mean” and things along these lines.
Then, one day we three were having a conversation about random topics, it was nothing about sexuality. I mean, what kind of girl would talk with a guy, who is only a friend, about these things?
While he was explaining something he ran his hand half way down my spine. I thought that was rude and inappropriate. I did not give any reaction or a sign of irritation; even though it boiled inside me I stayed calm despite the offense. I guess, what cooled my anger is the thought that he was so much into the topic that, maybe, it just happened.
I have never been touched like that in my life. I am just confused; I don’t know how to think or feel right now after it happened. At first, yeah I was angry, but now how should I feel about that? Should I be angry?
Do your friends from the opposite sex do that?
I, then, interrupted B and told him that he should not touch me like this ever again because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Suddenly, he snaps and starts accusing me again of being a bad friend and mean. Let me tell you why he thinks that, the reason is that he is lazy and wants either me or G to do his homework for him. Despite refusing constantly he still presses more. He is actually a senior, G and I are juniors.
And no matter how many times I told him to drop the subject he just goes on talking about that, even though I helped him many times with his homework. I guess he expected an answer so I told him he should not say these things about me because... because... but he just held on to the subject and I did not want to respond anymore, then G jumps up and tells him that he should back off.
G did not stand by me just because she is a good friend. In fact, she knew him long before I became her friend. Actually, I would have been ashamed to let G stand by me if I knew I was wrong. So from this you can imagine that she acts more comfortably around him and jokes a little bit harshly, he would usually take it seriously and I would remind him that she does not really mean it. Then he would come back to his own self. I would not make harsh jokes like her, yet I was the one being buried under his judgment.
Sometimes, he would stare at me without taking his eyes off me. And I would tell him to unlock his mouth and speak freely if there is something that he wants to say. But no, he would never admit what goes through his mind. He is honest about everything but about admitting how he feels. End of the story.
Additional information:
Okay, some boys would have a crush on me first time they see me, I don’t know why and I find it stupid that someone can trust a total stranger. Think! Why do some people forget what they have been taught when they were little? That is “Never trust a stranger.” I don’t have an attractive womanly figure, I am kind of skinny, we sure have a dress code for school, and I am not popular. I don’t even put make up like most high school girls; maybe you can say that I am a bit boyish. I don’t talk or dress likes one but I am not girly at all. Part of the reason is that when I was little my dad used to call me sonny, he meant son. I knew that I could be both. It was not part of a deceivious game. Would a kid deliberately do something like that? It just came naturally. For instance, playing soccer with some boys, I was easily accepted for a change, I did not have to try to fit in. I felt like an equal among them. By the way, it is way past twelve here but I can’t bear leaving a blank page in my thoughts.
Do you think that this friendship is worth all the trouble? Why would someone suddenly turn from I love you to I hate very much? What should I do?
Your honesty will be valued.
Any help, suggestion, advice are all appreciated.
Oh, and one more thing. He said something disturbing I don’t know if I should mention it or not. He maybe did not mean it, but he looked dead serious when he said it.
First of all, at the beginning of the second-semester me and two of my friends (a boy let’s call him B, and a girl let’s call her G) had a class together. G and I were friends but B and I meet for the first time in that class. He is a talkative, straight forward, and a pushy kind of person. He was nice though. That out- shone all his flaws. It was a good reason for me to friend him.
So, he starts being really polite and all smileys whenever he spoke with me. He had a crush on me. You could tell when someone treats you differently; it’s not hard to tell when someone likes you. Also, he would tell me, only me, that he likes a girl and wants to ask her out. Maybe he wanted me to be jealous? He told me this many times. What is the purpose of him telling me that, if not for an advice? Even though he could have told G, he knew her better anyway.
I didn't give him any special attention (by saying this you should realize that I have been through this a few times). And so I must tell you that I have never had a boyfriend, never been in a relationship, and have had a crush only once and that was last year. I don’t want to be with anyone, not while still in high school. My experience is very limited. No, I have no experience in this at all. But, I learn from observing others and collecting information. And without having to go through the experience myself I can say that I learned few things. Still, I would never say that I know more than someone who’s been there themselves.
After a while, he withdraws from the entire act and becomes more hateful towards me. Saying that I am a “bad friend” and I am “mean” and things along these lines.
Then, one day we three were having a conversation about random topics, it was nothing about sexuality. I mean, what kind of girl would talk with a guy, who is only a friend, about these things?
While he was explaining something he ran his hand half way down my spine. I thought that was rude and inappropriate. I did not give any reaction or a sign of irritation; even though it boiled inside me I stayed calm despite the offense. I guess, what cooled my anger is the thought that he was so much into the topic that, maybe, it just happened.
I have never been touched like that in my life. I am just confused; I don’t know how to think or feel right now after it happened. At first, yeah I was angry, but now how should I feel about that? Should I be angry?
Do your friends from the opposite sex do that?
I, then, interrupted B and told him that he should not touch me like this ever again because it makes me feel uncomfortable. Suddenly, he snaps and starts accusing me again of being a bad friend and mean. Let me tell you why he thinks that, the reason is that he is lazy and wants either me or G to do his homework for him. Despite refusing constantly he still presses more. He is actually a senior, G and I are juniors.
And no matter how many times I told him to drop the subject he just goes on talking about that, even though I helped him many times with his homework. I guess he expected an answer so I told him he should not say these things about me because... because... but he just held on to the subject and I did not want to respond anymore, then G jumps up and tells him that he should back off.
G did not stand by me just because she is a good friend. In fact, she knew him long before I became her friend. Actually, I would have been ashamed to let G stand by me if I knew I was wrong. So from this you can imagine that she acts more comfortably around him and jokes a little bit harshly, he would usually take it seriously and I would remind him that she does not really mean it. Then he would come back to his own self. I would not make harsh jokes like her, yet I was the one being buried under his judgment.
Sometimes, he would stare at me without taking his eyes off me. And I would tell him to unlock his mouth and speak freely if there is something that he wants to say. But no, he would never admit what goes through his mind. He is honest about everything but about admitting how he feels. End of the story.
Additional information:
Okay, some boys would have a crush on me first time they see me, I don’t know why and I find it stupid that someone can trust a total stranger. Think! Why do some people forget what they have been taught when they were little? That is “Never trust a stranger.” I don’t have an attractive womanly figure, I am kind of skinny, we sure have a dress code for school, and I am not popular. I don’t even put make up like most high school girls; maybe you can say that I am a bit boyish. I don’t talk or dress likes one but I am not girly at all. Part of the reason is that when I was little my dad used to call me sonny, he meant son. I knew that I could be both. It was not part of a deceivious game. Would a kid deliberately do something like that? It just came naturally. For instance, playing soccer with some boys, I was easily accepted for a change, I did not have to try to fit in. I felt like an equal among them. By the way, it is way past twelve here but I can’t bear leaving a blank page in my thoughts.
Do you think that this friendship is worth all the trouble? Why would someone suddenly turn from I love you to I hate very much? What should I do?
Your honesty will be valued.
Any help, suggestion, advice are all appreciated.
Oh, and one more thing. He said something disturbing I don’t know if I should mention it or not. He maybe did not mean it, but he looked dead serious when he said it.