janeymate
Apr 9, 2013, 09:42 AM
My dad treats me like crap and I am getting more and more frustrated and upset by his behaviour/attitude towards me. He has always belitted me since I was a kid, never shown me any praise, never said anything nice to me and ignores that I am there or speaking most of the time. He has always attacked my self-worth, been cold hearted and I cannot seem to do anything right in his eyes. Growing up with hardly any self-esteem has been hard. He is a very manipulative person and has caused a lot of bad feeling between my brother and me, bad mouthing me off to him and vice-versa. He acts like he hates me and the situation is just getting worse. My brother and I are not talking because of him.
I now live in a different country and it has made things more problematic. My Mum has Alzheimers and I have always had a good relationship with her, she can still recognise me and I can get a limited conversation out of her. To get to speak to my Mum I have to go through my dad (as she is no longer able to answer the phone) and depending on his mood or attitude is whether I get to speak with her or not. He is her full time carer which he hates (he is retired) and only does it because he has to. He complains about looking after her and tells me I should be there to help him, he shouts at me for not being there, making me feel guilty for having a life of my own. He gives her alcohol, he is an alcoholic and he shouldn't because she gets ill over it. Recently she ended up in hospital and it was all my fault for not being there. When I did go over to help support him for 1 week, I got mental abuse and was shouted at the whole time I was there. My partner came with me which was awful, because he verbally abused him too. Even said he didn't like him in front of us. My partner is a sweet and good person who hasn't got a bad bone in his body, so this really hurt as he had no cause to say that.
He has no respect for anyone it seems and is always falling out with people, then he wonders why. He criticises everyone and when he has been drinking bad mouths them, then he wonders why people don't want to call him.
People avoid him if they see him on the street, if he goes into a pub on his own which he does a lot now, he drinks too much and gets abusive. He never has anything positive to say and always puts people down and speaks bad about them. He always plays the victim saying no one gives him sympathy.
Now it seems he wants to manipulate when I can speak with my mum, I call not to speak with him and he knows it and uses that power to control when I can speak with her. If he wants to pass the phone he will if he doesn't want to he won't and again this depends on his moods and alcohol. This is deeply upsetting as Mum is deteriorating and I don't know how long time I can speak with her before she gets worse. Sometimes the phone goes stright to the answerphone and he doesn't even pěck up. I called the other day to speak and he just put the phone down, I don't even know why?
Am feeling very stressed out and feel quite depressed about this frustrating situation. I don't know what to do?
I now live in a different country and it has made things more problematic. My Mum has Alzheimers and I have always had a good relationship with her, she can still recognise me and I can get a limited conversation out of her. To get to speak to my Mum I have to go through my dad (as she is no longer able to answer the phone) and depending on his mood or attitude is whether I get to speak with her or not. He is her full time carer which he hates (he is retired) and only does it because he has to. He complains about looking after her and tells me I should be there to help him, he shouts at me for not being there, making me feel guilty for having a life of my own. He gives her alcohol, he is an alcoholic and he shouldn't because she gets ill over it. Recently she ended up in hospital and it was all my fault for not being there. When I did go over to help support him for 1 week, I got mental abuse and was shouted at the whole time I was there. My partner came with me which was awful, because he verbally abused him too. Even said he didn't like him in front of us. My partner is a sweet and good person who hasn't got a bad bone in his body, so this really hurt as he had no cause to say that.
He has no respect for anyone it seems and is always falling out with people, then he wonders why. He criticises everyone and when he has been drinking bad mouths them, then he wonders why people don't want to call him.
People avoid him if they see him on the street, if he goes into a pub on his own which he does a lot now, he drinks too much and gets abusive. He never has anything positive to say and always puts people down and speaks bad about them. He always plays the victim saying no one gives him sympathy.
Now it seems he wants to manipulate when I can speak with my mum, I call not to speak with him and he knows it and uses that power to control when I can speak with her. If he wants to pass the phone he will if he doesn't want to he won't and again this depends on his moods and alcohol. This is deeply upsetting as Mum is deteriorating and I don't know how long time I can speak with her before she gets worse. Sometimes the phone goes stright to the answerphone and he doesn't even pěck up. I called the other day to speak and he just put the phone down, I don't even know why?
Am feeling very stressed out and feel quite depressed about this frustrating situation. I don't know what to do?