Me and my girlfriend were together for 4 years and we were each other’s first and only in virginity to each other. I will start by saying that last summer (2012) I didn’t treat her the absolute best. My friends were going away to college in the fall and I focused heavily on hanging out with them because they’ve been my friends since I was 5. I ditched her once or twice and I can admit prioritized them over her at times. So I know I have some fault in this. But in October I caught her at a guy’s house at 3 am when she was telling me she was home sleeping. She lied to my face. Than we broke up but 5 days later I took her back because I realized that my bad actions definitely had a play in her acting against me.

We dated for 4 months after that and a week before Valentine’s Day she told me she had sex with him the next night after I caught her at his house. This hit me really hard and I broke it off again because I felt everything was a lie. It hurt so bad because we only had sex with each other prior to that and it was really special to me and I 'thought' it was with her too. It completely changed my viewpoint on her and to make it worse she lied to me for 4 months about it. TO MAKE IT WORSE she would hangout and drink with him and his friends the whole time we were back together after she did that. Now all I think about is her ****ing that and how I feel so betrayed. I love her, I love her so much. And I know I didn’t handle her well that summer with focusing on my friends more but after she started to stray away from me through these actions I really have been so much better to her.

How can I get over these lies and deception? How can I get over the thought of her having sex with another man? Its holding us back from continuing in this relationship.

Might I add that she hasn’t taken steps to keep this together after I was hurt by her actions... while I have made every effort to keep it together cause she is my best friend.

Sounds like perhaps time to call it over and move on, if you want to try and stay together get into counseling,

Just let it go. So what if she slept with another guy, it still doesn't change how she treats you and what you guys have together.

It sounds like she's staying with you because you're comfortable, she knows you, it's easy to stay, but her heart isn't in it.

Obviously you can't accept what she did, and she's not trying to keep this relationship together. It takes two to tango, and she doesn't seem to want to dance with you.

Time to call it off.

All guys are "nice" guys at first.. then girls like that are the reasons the nice guys turn into the "bad" guys. Call it off, but don't hold a grudge against any new women that come along because it's not there fault. This happens a lot in men and why they lose respect for women.

She was free to do what she wanted to do when you all were broken up. I assume you all are not together again. She doesn't sound like she is in the same place as you in this relationship and she sounds like she wants different things. You will not be in a good place if you keep hanging on. So move on and find someone who shares the same relationship goals.