I have recently gotten out of a 4 year relationship with a guy twice my age. I am 19 right now and he is 32... so when we first got together I was 15 and he was 28. I now see how wrong this this relationship was just due to the age difference. There were many reasons I got out of this relationship, but the main turning point for me was looking back to how young and inexperienced I was when it first started. Where I live the age of consent is 16, I was 15 and a half when we first had vaginal sex, so it didn't seem that bad to me at the time, but what I didn't realize was that just because the things we did before weren't vaginal didn't mean that they were not still sex. I was never forced into sex, but I remember a hand full of times where I did things just to please him even though they weren't pleasant for me, and he sometimes would talk me into it until I said yes. Over the four years as I grew more confident I didn't let him do this anymore. I do feel like he took advantage of my naivety and innocence, but I don't know if I feel like it was sexual assault. I've been thinking about this a lot lately and am confused whether I should move on thinking this was just a bad relationship or whether there was some sort of "sexual assault" done towards me...

Yes, it was sexual assault. You were underage and he took advantage of you. Whether you feel like you did it willingly or not is irrelevant... bottom line he took advantage of you and should have gone to jail.

This is one way that pedophiles work... they get you to do these things while making you feel like you want yo because you are not old enough or mature enough to realize what it is that they're really doing to you. Then you walk away from this feeling like you were wrong or you did something bad.

Yes, it was sexual assault. You were underage and he took advantage of you. Whether you feel like you did it willingly or not is irrelevant....bottom line he took advantage of you and should have gone to jail.

This is one way that pedophiles work....they get you to do these things while making you feel like you want yo because you are not old enough or mature enough to realize what it is that they're really doing to you. Then you walk away from this feeling like you were wrong or you did something bad.

Thank you, I'm definitely having a hard time wrapping my brain around how for 4 years I thought I was in love with him and in a good relationship and how it was only less than two months ago that I realized how messed up my situation was.

How could it take you 4 years to realize it? I mean I understand 15-16, people are naïve, immature and excited for new things but 4 years is too long. As you said you were never forced but emotionally pushed to do things against your will. Only problem was you age, he does used you. This is all very complicated but evaluate things carefully. I think it was bad relationship.

Yes it was wrong, but hard to prove anything at this point, before the age of consent,

So get into counseling and just move on with life

how could it take you 4 years to realize it? I mean I understand 15-16, people are naive, immature and excited for new things but 4 years is too long. as you said you were never forced but emotionally pushed to do things against your will. only problem was you age, he does used you. this is all very complicated but evaluate things carefully. I think it was bad relationship.

That is crap. To say something like this in this case is way out of line as far as I'm concerned. The OP was underage at the time of this starting up. The pedophile used the usual tricks on her to make her think she loved him... do you know nothing about how these people work? Obviously not so then keep quiet about it. She did nothing wrong in this case. Sure, looking at it from the outside you can say she should have known but then that just shows how little you really know. Pedophiles work on their victims. They "groom" them. They make them believe things and mentally condition them.

It's just good that the OP finally saw this all and realized it was a bad situation.

I agree with Fr_Chuck... if you can't get past this, maybe you should get some counseling.

That is crap. To say something like this in this case is way out of line as far as I'm concerned. The OP was underage at the time of this starting up. The pedophile used the usual tricks on her to make her think she loved him....do you know nothing about how these people work? Obviously not so then keep quiet about it. She did nothing wrong in this case. Sure, looking at it from the outside you can say she should have known but then that just shows how little you really know. Pedophiles work on their victims. They "groom" them. They make them believe things and mentally condition them.

It's just good that the OP finally saw this all and realized it was a bad situation.

I agree with Fr_Chuck....if you can't get past this, maybe you should get some counseling.
I may be wrong but not judgemental about anybody. I'm just equally confused at this point to reach any conclusion, if that hurt or offend anybody, I apologise. I'm not saying she has done any wrong.

“how could it take you 4 years to realize it? I mean I understand 15-16, people are naïve, immature and excited for new things but 4 years is too long. As you said you were never forced but emotionally pushed to do things against your will. Only problem was you age, he does used you. This is all very complicated but evaluate things carefully. I think it was bad relationship.”

I think my colleague, Odinn, was kind - this answer is beyond crap.

The “only problem was you age?” Really? No, the “only problem” was that this was legal rape. I'd like to know the difference between being forced and emotionally pushed. I don't see that this is “all very complicated.” I think this is very uncomplicated, and you are blaming the victim.

“How could it take [you] 4 years to realize it?” I won't even address that, which is more blaming the victim.

I was the adult victim of rape. Your reply is indefensible and an insult to anyone/everyone who was ever forced in any manner to have sex when she did not want to have sex or was too young to consent.

The man who assaulted her is a pedophile and a danger to someone else's daughter.

Is pursuing the matter a good idea? Only the OP knows if she wants to face this man in a Courtroom (if it goes that far) and possibly be unable to prove her case. Who knows? Some like “smkanamd” might be on the jury.

Counselling, with or without Police/legal intervention is a good idea.

I realize it is not AMHD policy to refer to other posts when responding. I also think in this case it must be done. You saw no problem with a 14-year old Muslim GIRL having sex at 14 with a 26 year old MAN, stating, "when people in love they do things, thats natural. physical attraction and intimacy is the most natural thing." She was 14!

The problem in your mind in that instance is that HE married someone else after a number of years and she didn't realize she needed to bathe after intercourse. I realize cultures and religions differ. I also realize you have posted that women (wives) cannot divorce men (husbands). The husband must file and, therefore, the wife must live in unhappiness or abuse. Again, different cultures.

I think these religious beliefs should preclude you from posting on non-Islamic relationship/legal boards. I think you are in the AMHD minority when it comes to the rights of women.

We have an adult on AMHD who was molested as a child - let's see if she has anything to contribute. (Unfortunately I am on my laptop and can't access my entire AMHD account right now - this will have to wait until I am not working.)

Judy hit the nail on the head. The reason you are not able to legally consent to sex at a younger age is that you do not have the life experience and maturity to make that decision for yourself. You are vulnerable to being manipulated and groomed by an adult into doing things that are not in your best interest because they have the upper hand in the relationship.

What your "boyfriend" did (I would rather call him "rapist" than "boyfriend" though) was to target a young teen whom he knew was not of legal age of consent. He posed as your wise, more experienced boyfriend and I'm sure told you how he normally wouldn't date a girl your age, but you are "more mature than most girls your age". He might have made the "what does age matter when we're in love" argument, and the, "well, you're so close to being of the age of consent, what does it matter?" argument. This is what's called "grooming".

This is the same strategy that enables grown men to molest teenage boys who aren't even gay. They employ all kinds of very manipulative strategies and, over time, make the minor increasingly comfortable and willing to perform sexual acts with them. When you agree under this type of manipulation, which is always present when an adult has sex with a minor, you have not really "consented" - you have been manipulated and raped.

It's hard to get your head around it because, at the time, you thought you were OK with it. You thought it was a mutual decision. What you didn't realize - what people never realize until they are older and wiser - was that you were in no way prepared to actually consent.

I do have to wonder where your parents have been, and why they didn't prosecute this jerk. You still can. You don't have to have "smoking gun" evidence and it's worth reporting. This guy is a sexual predator and will move on to another teen girl, so please report what happened.

As for people who criticize you, they don't have a clue so ignore them. If there's any lesson in this for you, it's that societal norms and boundaries have been developed over thousands of years, and if something seems sketchy or your find you have to come up with justifications, lie to people about it, hide it, etc. it's not healthy for you. Learning this does not mean you were dumb or naïve or whatever. You likely had appropriate maturity for your age but were confronted with a predator who manipulated. Naïve really more refers to someone who does not have adequate insight for their expected level of maturity. Don't use any negative terms to describe yourself - this was all on this jerk who imposed himself on your life.

Think about it - when you're 18, would you date a 9 year old? It's pretty much the same thing. Outrageous.

Thank you, I'm definitely having a hard time wrapping my brain around how for 4 years I thought I was in love with him and in a good relationship and how it was only less than two months ago that I realized how messed up my situation was.

This is exactly what we call child exploitation... at that age you are easy to manipulate by an experienced adult... you were effectively brainwashed... and manipulated... and weren't mature enough at the time to understand what was happening.

What you thought was you wanting it... and allowing it was actually him talking you into doing exactly what he wanted.

This is why the age of consent is what it is in most states... and I do believe it should be 18 in all of them for this reason. But its not... yet anyway.

It might not have been a forcible rape... but it most certainly was Statutory rape...

Because as you know... sex involves far more than just the vagina.

I would talk to some authorities... while I admit to not knowing what any satute of limitations might be... at least you will find out if its not too late let.

And maybe... just maybe... they won't do this to anyone else if you do.

Therapy is also a good recommendation... you might have your head screwed on pretty good... but there are probibly some things you may not be aware of that are related that can be dealt with.

smkanand, I'm not sure you understand how damaging your comments were, as well as confusing and all over the place. You have had one relationship in your young life and were very naïve about it yourself, calling a man your boyfriend who left 5 years ago and never contacted you again. You have been here less than a month yet have responded to over 200 posts. Please give more thought to your replies before you type.

It is thanks to people like you I blamed myself for my abuse as a 7 year old. BTW they were teens so same age difference. If you read my threads on here you will see I still suffer from that ABUSE AND RAPE. How dare you? What gives you the right to be so judgmental? Yes you are as I learned about judgmental thoughts in DBT. What kind of person posts what you did to someone who was abused?
To the original poster ignore that ignorant person. Please get yourself some counselling even if you just call a help line. Don't be like me and ignore it for years and waste so much time suffering.
IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. I can not say that enough.

smkanand, I'm not sure you understand how damaging your comments were, as well as confusing and all over the place. You have had one relationship in your young life and were very naive about it yourself, calling a man your boyfriend who left 5 years ago and never contacted you again. You have been here less than a month yet have responded to over 200 posts. Please give more thought to your replies before you type.

I will take care. Thanks for reminding me my past.

"It is thanks to people like you I blamed myself for my abuse as a 7 year old. BTW they were teens so same age difference. If you read my threads on here you will see I still suffer from that ABUSE AND RAPE. How dare you? What gives you the right to be so judgmental? Yes you are as I learned about judgmental thoughts in DBT. What kind of person posts what you did to someone who was abused?
To the original poster ignore that ignorant person. Please get yourself some counselling even if you just call a help line. Don't be like me and ignore it for years and waste so much time suffering.
IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. I can not say that enough."

Well said, Mogrann - and unfortunately it needed to be said.

And for Joy, yes, I wonder why this person believes herself to be an expert in relationships and/or emotional health. Oh, well. Hopefully people check the source. A five year break in a relationship, he smiled at her in 2008 and died - and she can't get over him? Doesn't date, hasn't dated since 2008 - 5 years ago?

I am upset by a female who is so insensitive about underage sex and rape, in general.

Thanks everyone for your replies, they've really helped. smkanand I know it seems crazy that I just realized I was taken advantage of, but at first I thought that everything I was doing was my own decision, when I met him at 15 I had very low self esteem, I was just getting over an eating disorder, and his attention made me feel really great, I was obsessed with him. Throughout the years I didn't even once analyze the how we first got together, I felt like I needed him an he was all I needed, while in high school I didn't think about his many character flaws, how he wasn't really anywhere in his life, how unmotivated he was. Anytime he messed up he made me feel like I was overreacting, made me feel guilty in some way. Then at 18 I moved out with him to a different city to go to university, I really started to notice how over the years I matured and grew but he didn't. I started watching a lot of dr Phil, and I saw some that had young girls in similar situations, this was the first time I really thought back to how we first started seeing each other, when I did I felt sick. The day before my 19th birthday he did drugs and I took that as my opportunity and reason to break it off. Now I'm all alone in a different city and I don't know anyone here, I really wish that I could have realized this a long time ago. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now, I just want to move on from this, maybe I'll look for counselling through my school, but as for any legal action I'm not really sure.

Also another messed up fact is that he was addicted to come and I would always forgive him for it and thought that I could help him through it. *sigh* how messed up is my life? All these realizations are just crashing down on me and I'm just so overwhelmed I don't know what to do and how to move on from this.

Addicted to what?
Anyway, I'm not sure that your life is any more messed up than anyone else's, especially at 19. If you are in school and have roomies that will be the beginning of a new sphere of friends.
I looked at your very first post here, 5 years ago. Amazing. All that maturing so fast.
I think you have learned a lot, despite the position you are in at the moment.
You can probably help others here.

Addicted to what?
Anyway, I'm not sure that your life is any more messed up than anyone else's, especially at 19. If you are in school and have roomies that will be the beginning of a new sphere of friends.
I looked at your very first post here, 5 years ago. Amazing. All that maturing so fast.
I think you have learned a lot, despite the position you are in at the moment.
You can probably help others here.
Cocaine, I'm on my iPhone so it auto corrected. Thanks, I was also looking back at my old posts where I asked stuff like "why aren't my boobs growing" haha pretty funny to look back on, I was only 13 when I made this account so don't judge. Yeah I'm trying to make an effort to make the best of my time here, I don't live on campus though, I'm in an apartment so it's harder to meet people, I should probably join a club or something but I've been kind of depressed lately, all I do is go to classes then go home and read or watch TV. I've been trying to get myself out of this funk but it's hard, I'm going away to my friends cabin this weekend, hopefully it'll lift my spirits a bit. Thanks for your support though :)

Skittles, I have nothing to add to what's already been said by everyone, other than Smkanad whose advice made me cringe, which sadly is nothing new.

You are the victim in this. Sadly it's unlikely that you'd be able to prosecute him. Sadder yet is that he'll likely find another young teen to abuse now that you're gone. What you have to do now is find a way to deal with what happened, and move forward. Counseling is a very good idea.

So, since I really have no advice that hasn't already been posted, you may wonder why I'm posting at all. I'm posting because we get hundreds of post on this site from teens that are in the same situation that you were in, and they don't realize it. They think they're in love. They're being manipulated, they're being groomed, and they refuse to accept it. I really think that you could help these teens. Tell them your story, let them see how you see things now, how you now realize that what he did was wrong.

You can't change your past, but you may be able to change another teens future.

Please think about it. I think you would be a huge asset to this site.

Skittles, you are blaming yourselt - you got multiple, thought out, sensitive responses, three of which are from people I know were victims of sexual assault.

You responded to the one answer which blamed you and pretty much didn't acknowledge the others.

Skittles, counseling is a must. I can share with you that I was violently and forceably beaten and sexually assaulted when I was in college, and I still thought it was my fault. That's the nature of sexual assault - no matter how much it wasn't our fault, it's hard to imagine that anyone else has that kind of power over our own body. This is normal to feel this way, and you need someone over a long period to help you work through this or you will be looking at yourself through the equivalent of a fun-house mirror, distorting things in a way that will prevent you from thinking well of yourself and moving forward.

I waited until I was in my forties to get help getting past what I experienced. I figured that since I understood it intellectually, I didn't need counseling. Not true. My regret now is only that I didn't get counseling twenty years ago.

I think you are smart to think about how you can get more involved in college. Perhaps you should consider a move to campus. And joining a club is a great idea. Counseling will help you take these steps to free yourself to meet new people. It's really common for victims of sexual assault to isolate themselves - sometimes we feel like it's easier to avoid other people than to risk that they might treat us badly. But we can all learn how to listen to our gut, watch for red flags and be appropriately alert to the wrong people, while still opening ourselves up to those people who are good and fulfilling additions to our lives.

Most colleges do offer services, often free, for victims of rape so being a student, there's a lot available to you. Go to your student health center and speak to a nurse or doctor, and I'm sure they can find resources for you. If you are depressed, they can also help you with that. For me, it took a year of medication to kind of reset my brain and get out of a cycle of clinical depression. I was reluctant to take medication, but in hindsight, it was the right thing to do.

Skittles, I have nothing to add to what's already been said by everyone, other than Smkanad whose advice made me cringe, which sadly is nothing new.

You are the victim in this. Sadly it's unlikely that you'd be able to prosecute him. Sadder yet is that he'll likely find another young teen to abuse now that you're gone. What you have to do now is find a way to deal with what happened, and move forward. Counseling is a very good idea.

So, since I really have no advice that hasn't already been posted, you may wonder why I'm posting at all. I'm posting because we get hundreds of post on this site from teens that are in the same situation that you were in, and they don't realize it. They think they're in love. They're being manipulated, they're being groomed, and they refuse to accept it. I really think that you could help these teens. Tell them your story, let them see how you see things now, how you now realize that what he did was wrong.

You can't change your past, but you may be able to change another teens future.

Please think about it. I think you would be a huge asset to this site. I totally agree with you, I always heard that dating an older guy was bad and people gave tons of reasons, but they never quite transferred, I felt like my situation was different. I feel like if I had heard of someone's actual story after getting out of that kind of relationship I would have thought twice, but it was exactly the opposite, I only heard of girls going through the same thing I was and it was actually like we were supporting one another through our relationships. This really upsets me because I know a number of girls that are still in these type of relationships and I know that there are many on the Internet.

I totally agree with you, I always heard that dating an older guy was bad and people gave tons of reasons why, but they never quite transferred, I felt like my situation was different. I feel like if I had heard of someone's actual story after getting out of that kind of relationship I would have thought twice, but it was exactly the opposite, I only heard of girls going through the same thing I was and it was actually like we were supporting one another through our relationships. This really upsets me because I know a number of girls that are still in these type of relationships and I know that there are many on the Internet.

Dating older people (this can apply to both male and female) is only bad when you are not an adult... because of control and manipulation possibilities are at their highest the when these emotions are still fairly new to you in your youth... and they do take a long time to get them under constrol... a few people never really do... you will meet them from time to time throughout your adult life. They are fairly easy to spot once you start to know them.

Say if you were in your mid 20's or more... that same age difference would mean significantly less... and that because everyone... male and female... go through dramatic emotional and intellectual maturation through their early 20's... it does't come to a stop at 18... in fact its comething that continues throughout life... it only starts to slow down for most people in their mid 20's...

You live alone? You are going to a cabin with a guy?
I would suggest roommates, either all women or both men and women, while in college, and for some time afterwards.
Cheaper, more fun, and not lonely.
A few headaches sometimes, but overall it's worth it.
You NEED 'just friends' and lots of them for now, not a boyfriend.

You live alone? You are going to a cabin with a guy?
I would suggest roommates, either all women or both men and women, while in college, and for some time afterwards.
Cheaper, more fun, and not lonely.
A few headaches sometimes, but overall it's worth it.
You NEED 'just friends' and lots of them for now, not a boyfriend.
No it's my girlfriends cabin, yeah I realize that, I know I'm not ready to date and don't plan to for a long time. I'm honestly in a bit of a man hating stage right now anyway.

Dating older people (this can apply to both male and female) is only bad when you are not an adult.....because of control and manipulation possibilities are at their highest the when these emotions are still fairly new to you in your youth....and they do take a long time to get them under constrol.....a few people never really do....you will meet them from time to time throughout your adult life. They are fairly easy to spot once you start to know them.

say if you were in your mid 20's or more....that same age difference would mean significantly less...and that because everyone....male and female...go through dramatic emotional and intellectual maturation through their early 20's.....it does't come to a stop at 18....in fact its comething that continues throughout life.....it only starts to slow down for most people in their mid 20's....
Yeah I meant dating an older guy when you're a teenager, when people heard about my situation they would always tell me it's a bad one, but my point is that because I never heard first hand stories about how it effects you other people's advice didn't register as well.

So my brother talked me into going to the police today, so I went in for a statement. I'm not very happy with it, there was a female and male officer, I felt like the girl was judging me and maybe thought I was exaggerating, maybe that's just in my head though. They did take it seriously but they asked if was doing this out of spite because the relationship ended badly, which looking back I'm pretty offended. They basically said that the only way to get his name into the system is to take him to court and take the stand, for now they are going to take it to the crown and see whether they decide that this is worth going to court for. They also gave me a victim help line number. I feel more stressed out now after going in than I did before, I don't think I was ready to give a statement, looking back there were other things I could have added, but I just didn't feel comfortable going into details, and they also asked me questions that I couldn't really remember from 4 years ago.

Yeah I meant dating an older guy when you're a teenager, when people heard about my situation they would always tell me it's a bad one, but my point is that because I never heard first hand stories about how it effects you other people's advice didn't register as well.
Even if you did.. its possible you wouldn't have listened to it then... some people have to learn their lessons for themselves... I don't know if you were that type at that age... but I've known more than a few people personally that actually were.

"So my brother talked me into going to the police today"

At some point you have to take some responsibility for your own actions - your brother made this decision for you?

As far as the Police, they are fact finders. They ask everyone the same questions. It's not uncommon for a report to be filed out of revenge when a relationship ends. They don't know without asking. I doubt you were judged - they hear these complaints all the time.

What did you think was going to happen when you filed the report? Did you think he would be arrested, punished without your testimony? Something else?

I'll say it again - I was the adult victim of rape. I'm not unsympathetic to your problems. I've been there. I blamed myself for a long time. At some point, however, I took responsibility for what I did afterward. You need to do that. Getting over this, not getting over it, being persuaded to do things, not being persuaded - those are your "things" to manage.

He raped you. From then on it's yours to handle in the best way possible based on whatever information you have available to you.

So my brother talked me into going to the police today, so I went in for a statement. I'm not very happy with it, there was a female and male officer, I felt like the girl was judging me and maybe thought I was exaggerating, maybe that's just in my head though. They did take it seriously but they asked if was doing this out of spite because the relationship ended badly, which looking back I'm pretty offended. They basically said that the only way to get his name into the system is to take him to court and take the stand, for now they are going to take it to the crown and see whether they decide that this is worth going to court for. They also gave me a victim help line number. I feel more stressed out now after going in than I did before, I don't think I was ready to give a statement, looking back there were other things I could have added, but I just didn't feel comfortable going into details, and they also asked me questions that I couldn't really remember from 4 years ago.

Its like that for a reason... as JudyKayTee stated... there are many complaints made by women upset they were left or cheated on... so many in fact... it does make them pause even when real and legitimate complaints get filed.

Also consider... at least in most of the world... the accused is entitled to an assumption of innocense... at least in the USA and Canada. And evidence has to be collected to prove any charges. This requires questions be answered... stories checked out... and facts checked for reality.

No its not pleasant.. no its not quick... but its necessary to be fair to all people involved...

Anyone who has ever been accused of something they didn't do... can appreciate the fact they weren't taken out and lynched without anything being investigated.

I've known too many men that were accused of fathering babies to women they swear they didn't slepp with. And thank goodness for DNA testing... they were able to prove it wasn't them. Imagine how many men before DNA testing were forced to pay support for kids that weren't theirs? That's only an example.

As was mentioned... the Police have to approach this purely from the perspective... of "OK, this is what you say" Now let us gather enough evidence to prove it... "

Proving something is always more difficult as time passes and memories fade.

So my brother talked me into going to the police today, so I went in for a statement. I'm not very happy with it, there was a female and male officer, I felt like the girl was judging me and maybe thought I was exaggerating, maybe that's just in my head though. They did take it seriously but they asked if was doing this out of spite because the relationship ended badly, which looking back I'm pretty offended. They basically said that the only way to get his name into the system is to take him to court and take the stand, for now they are going to take it to the crown and see whether they decide that this is worth going to court for. They also gave me a victim help line number. I feel more stressed out now after going in than I did before, I don't think I was ready to give a statement, looking back there were other things I could have added, but I just didn't feel comfortable going into details, and they also asked me questions that I couldn't really remember from 4 years ago.

I'm sorry that you feel bad about going to the police. I'm going to try to sugar coat my reply, something I never do, and I'm not sure I'm capable of.

The police have one job, that's to serve and protect the people in their community. They're not there to hold your hand, they're not there to make you feel better, and they don't know you. For all they know you're a vindictive girlfriend who was dumped and wants to get revenge. Without asking, without digging, how will they know? When they ask questions they aren't judging you, they're trying to find out the truth of what happened, so they can decide what to do about it.

They don't have time to make you feel like you're believed, they don't have the training to counsel you, and that's not their job. Their job is to find out what happened by asking you questions you may not like, then asking him questions he won't like, and then finding out the truth. The truth is rarely exactly what one person said, it's somewhere in the middle of both stories (unless one person is blatantly lying).

I will tell you, rape cases aren't easy. There's rarely any evidence, it's usually he said she said. If this goes to court his lawyer will do his best (if he's worth anything) to prove that you weren't a victim, that you weren't victimized. He will tear your testimony apart.

You better get comfortable mentioning the things you're too ashamed to mention, because that's the only hope you have of him paying for what he's done. If you won't tell the whole story, you may as well not even bother testifying, and without your testimony (if they decide to prosecute) he won't pay for what he's done. I'll be honest, even with your testimony it may not happen.

I've been the victim of both childhood molestation, and rape when I was a teen. I'm ashamed to admit that I never even told my parents, much less the police.

As a child I was too afraid. As an 18 year old teen/adult, I didn't want to be raped all over again in court. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't try to prosecute, but rape cases aren't easy. Rarely is there justice served. That's just my opinion.