Iamkatie
Mar 28, 2013, 09:47 AM
I caught my husband cheating when a text message came in. He denied it at first and even though my instinct tells me that he's lying I chose to believe him. We are married for five years with 2 sons. He had to leave overseas to work for a month. The day after he left, I checked on his mail and there I saw the pictures of the other woman naked and even saw some of their pictures while dating. She is 23 y/o while I'm 35y/o and husband is 59y/o. I confronted him via phone and he felt sorry about it. He then promised that he will stop communicating with the other woman. A month after that, I discovered that they are still communicating via sms , emails and skype. The other woman is living in the same country as to where I am so her communication with my husband is through internet also whenever he is out of the country. When I confronted m y husband again via phone and emails, he promised me again that his time it will really be over and that he wants to rebuild our marriage. Being devastated to the fullest of my core, I still accepted him. Even when I confronted him, I never raised my voice or shout or even scream, I stay calm as much as possible but he can feel that I am angry... I found out that the other woman just wanted to use my husband as her stepping stone to migrate overseas and thatshe also have other boyfriend and both of them are supporting her financially at times. When I informed my husband about it, he just can't believe it. When he came back here, he told me that he will have to meet with his other woman to confirm what I have said because he wants to see her face to face and see her eyes if she will deny. Call me stupid but I let him go. When he came back, I though all is over between them but he said, she denied everything and that I was lying yet he want to rebuild the marriage. I gave up, I told him that I'm letting him go especially when I found out in one of his emails that this other woman makes his life so complete and he can't live without her and she is her happiness and that no matter what happen he wants to spend his life with her until his last breath, he even said in his mails to her that she's his perfect match and soulmate (ouch!). He immediately packed his bag and went to the OW. He came back after a day, fearing that I might loose my sanity and commit suicide but believe me I cannot do that for Christ's sake! We have two kids and I have responsibilities too.. He said he wants to rebuild the marriage because he loves me so much and he love our kids and that he don't even know what he feels for the OW but then he told me he is still confused and torn whether he really wants to stay with me or with the OW. He said he can't even admit to himself or to me if he loves or or it is only because of the thrill he felt whenever he had to see her discreetly. He went back overseas again and the day after he left, I spoke with the OT, call me stupid again but I cried when I talked to her and even asked her what was their plan. The OW told me that while my husband is in the airport he promised her that once he come back they will live together and leave me for good. Which is different from what my husband told me while I'm in the airport with him, he said he chose me and will be back home for me and for us to start new life together. My husband learned about my conversation with his OW and he was so angry that I ed up his plan, he said he was trying to gently let go of the OW and I am ruining everything. He even told me that why don't I think that he is only trying to gently let her down?. Which I don't think he is doing. He said that he really loves me, I'm the love of his life and that he never had any plans of leaving me and our kids but I should understand that he still have feelings for her. I am now in a rollercoaster and I can't understand why he just can't really let her go. They are still communicating and I don't think it'll stop. I just can't trust my husband when he said that he want to end his relationship with the other woman in his own time and maybe if I did not blown up the issue it could have died a natural death. Until now they are in constant communication and the OW kept on telling that I am liar and dangerous when in fact I'm not doing anything at all. I never saw in emails or heard my husband defended me whenever this OW tells something bad about me but if I am the one who says that the OW is not the woman he thought she is, he would always defend her and says, she is a nice lady and intelligent and decent and she can never harm nor hate you. I did told my husband that I cannot even participate in rebuilding the marriage if we are three in this relationship. He said I just have to wait and things will be okay and all will be all right and I should extend my understanding that he still have feelingsnfor her and that she is still in his system... I don't know what else to do anymore. Im so,confused whether to let him go so he can have his happiness or should I stay because he said he still love me and I still love him even if he cheated on me.. Im so confused that it hurts me every time and it is consuming my daily life. He said he is always here for me and supports me that we can make it through this hard time. But how can I move on further if he is still in contact with her? Im so sad.. really sad... or maybe I should just let go because she's his soulmate and she makes him complete and happy?