View Full Version : Father wanting to be part of unborn sons life
Adam91
Mar 26, 2013, 02:54 AM
I'm having a son in 2 months with my ex who is emotionally hurting me by not letting me be part of my sons life before birth. I want to be there when he is born and I want to be part of the naming process.
I've been there since the beginning and let her move in with me when I found out she was pregnant, she moved out to her moms cause our relationship was going down the drain. We still kept in contact I tried to work it out with her but she breaks up with me everyday. I go to the appointments and do what I can right now while the baby is unborn but recently we got in a big argument and now refuses to talk to me. She will not let me attend any appointments now nor let me be part of the baby's name choosing. I want to be part of my sons life 110% what can I do before she picks a name without me? What can I do so that I can be at the birth?
ScottGem
Mar 26, 2013, 03:05 AM
ANY question on law needs to include your general locale as laws vary by area. However, its unlikely you can do anything from a legal standpoint. Until the child is born the mother has total control. Depending on local laws she may have total control over naming.
Once the child is born, you go to court for joint legal custody and visitation rights. You should also register with your area's putative father's registry if they have one.
What you can try now is reconciliation. If she won't talk to you, talk to her parents. Explain to them that you just want to help. If you have to, tell them that you will go to court to enforce your rights but that you would prefer things be amicable.
You will still want to go to court once the child is born so that you won't be at the mercy of her whims.
Adam91
Mar 26, 2013, 03:14 AM
Thanks. This is in California. I can't talk to her parents, it's just her mom in her life and she is worse then the daughter she has had her own baby daddy problems. I don't know if it helps me but I have all the text from myself and my ex, in the text she shows that she's playing games and is using the baby against me. The mom and her have tried to get me jumped before as well. I have done nothing wrong and I kiss her basically so that she wldnt get mad and keep me from my son but it has back fired. There has to be something I can do... her mom nor her self have jobs the mom collects unemployment checks and us on welfare, I have a good job that pays very well. Please there has to be something I can do. She also stopped taking the pill without me knowing.
ScottGem
Mar 26, 2013, 03:30 AM
You can contact an attorney. But I'm afraid the attorney will tell you the same thing I did. There is nothing you can do legally until the child is born. And, as far as naming goes, that will be solely up to the mother.
J_9
Mar 26, 2013, 05:31 AM
I can only attest to 2 of your concerns:
1) Naming the baby. Since you are not married to the mother, she is the one who fills out the birth certificate, therefore it is her choice what to name the baby.
2) Being in the delivery room. The laboring patient has the right to choose who she does or does not want in the room at the time of delivery. If she does not want you present, it is my job as the labor and delivery nurse to clear the room of everyone she does not want present at the birth.