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DaniCalifornia
Mar 23, 2013, 12:51 PM
Hello folks!

It's been on my mind all day. Housemadam? Housemistress? Housefiancee?

I'm essentially asking what is the name of the woman of the house, who is unemployed, looks after the children, and does all housework and shopping. And don't say Mother haha!

x Dani

Wondergirl
Mar 23, 2013, 01:08 PM
There is no official title for her. (It's a fairly new role.) How about homemaker/mother?

Curlyben
Mar 23, 2013, 01:14 PM
Skivvy or dogsbody ;)

Wondergirl
Mar 23, 2013, 01:15 PM
Skivvy or dogsbody ;)
Isn't skivvy another name for underpants?

***ADDED from the Free Online Dictionary -- "Chiefly Brit often contemptuous a servant, esp a female, who does menial work of all kinds; drudge." Hmmm, that doesn't sound good or uplifting.

JudyKayTee
Mar 24, 2013, 08:26 AM
How about live in servant?

Wondergirl
Mar 24, 2013, 08:59 AM
How about live in servant?
Now that you say that, Ben may not be so far off the mark. I always wonder why "that piece of paper" isn't considered important. It certain confers all sorts of legal rights to and status on the woman.

JudyKayTee
Mar 24, 2013, 09:20 AM
[I have a dear friend who doesn't believe in marriage - worked part time, raised "his" children for a few years, maintained the house, did all the things a wife does without the title.

Her husband died shortly after mine.

She was left with absolutely nothing - and that means absolutely nothing.

Do I understand that people either don't believe in marriage or don't want the commitment or something ele? S
Your. I think a break up is difficult and the issues are this side of impossible whether the people are or are not married.

When there's a death the woman is left with absolutely nothing.

I never understand why a person who loves another person doesn't at least attempt to legally protect the other person in the event of a catastrophe.

I also saw unmarried couples in the hospital where suddenly his or her children were the next of kin, denying the long-time partner access, making decisions without the partner, in two cases planning funerals and excluding the partner.

I want the legal protection of that piece of paper.

excon
Mar 24, 2013, 09:25 AM
Hello D:

She's my Old Lady. Didja notice that I capitalized old lady?

excon

JudyKayTee
Mar 24, 2013, 09:29 AM
Capitalizing Old Lady is certainly a sign of respect.

What does she call you - if you can print it here.

Masqueraderuse
Mar 24, 2013, 11:09 AM
She is called your partner. I don't see why you have to label her as something beneath you.

DaniCalifornia
Mar 25, 2013, 07:18 AM
Masqueraderuse, This hypothetical woman couldn't put "Partner" on their CV.

Homemaker! I think that's the word that's been bugging me.

Wondergirl
Mar 25, 2013, 07:42 AM
Homemaker! I think that's the word that's been bugging me.
Do I get a cupcake with sprinkles on it for coming up with the winning word?

excon
Mar 25, 2013, 07:43 AM
Hello D:

I agree. Homemaker is chauvinistic. So's housewife.

I don't think there IS a word that accurately describes the person we're trying to describe.

excon

JudyKayTee
Mar 25, 2013, 08:27 AM
I'm working on why there needs to be a name to describe the person -

Wondergirl
Mar 25, 2013, 08:30 AM
I'm working on why there needs to be a name to describe the person -
During an introduction, "This is my slave/partner/lover, Dani"?

On employment etc. apps?

JudyKayTee
Mar 25, 2013, 09:43 AM
Good point - I prefer to be called The Hot Babe With Whom I Live (or whatever).

Wondergirl
Mar 25, 2013, 09:48 AM
Good point - I prefer to be called The Hot Babe With Whom I Live (or whatever).
What is HE called?

DaniCalifornia
Mar 25, 2013, 09:57 AM
It happened yesterday in the bath, I imagined my life in 10 years (One of those moments where you go into deep thought about things that may or may not happen) and I ended up wondering what would happen should I end up as one, then wish to go back into employment after. So I panicked about what I'd put on my CV. Then I came back to earth, and was merely curious. Haha!

Wondergirl
Mar 25, 2013, 10:00 AM
It happened yesterday in the bath, I imagined my life in 10 years (One of those moments where you go into deep thought about things that may or may not happen) and I ended up wondering what would happen should I end up as one, then wish to go back into employment after. So I panicked about what I'd put on my CV. Then I came back to earth, and was merely curious. Haha!
You can see what an animated discussion you started. :)

When's the wedding date?

joypulv
Mar 25, 2013, 01:35 PM
It's tempting to call her a fool. Not you, just the concept. That silly outmoded religion-based legality is what gives you what you deserve should he ditch you or die, or even become seriously disabled and unable to make decisions or communicate them.

"On the way back from the lottery event where he collected his 300 million dollars, Sam was broadsided by a truck..."
Cut to the courthouse weeks later, with blood relatives you didn't know existed crawling out of woodwork.
"That cute babysitter who was 14 last year is budding like crazy, and suggested to him that they run off to Rio.." fill in the rest however you want.

ETC ETC ETC

JudyKayTee
Mar 26, 2013, 08:10 AM
I'll go a step beyond that, Joy - and I absolutely agree with you. My concern is illness. The "housewife" stands next to the bed and wrings her hands, if the family will allow her into the hospital, while people with legal standing make medical and end-of-life decisions.

As I think we all know when my late husband was brain dead, no chance he was ever coming back to me, seizuring many times a day, on every form of life support I ever heard of his children went to Court to keep me from removing him from the equipment on religious grounds. He had very clear, written instructions. I knew what he wanted. I still had a Court fight on my hands.

I wouldn't put anyone else in that place ever, no matter how much I loved someone, no matter how much someone loved me. If I'm not good enough to have legal standing, please, don't bother me.

joypulv
Mar 26, 2013, 10:06 AM
'.. his children went to Court to keep me from removing him from the equipment on religious grounds.'

Substitute guilt for religion. Don't you just love how many family come rushing in to protest what they have no clue about, such as someone's wishes? They don't even really care that much; they feel guilty for 'not being there.'

When my dad died recently, many people told me how he felt in his last days, and how much I 'sacrificed' for him in his last days, and not one of them knew one bit about either of that, and not one shred of it was true. I didn't know whether to joke or choke.

talaniman
Mar 26, 2013, 10:57 AM
If I'm not good enough to have legal standing, please, don't bother me.

I like that!

What is an unmarried housewife called?

An experiment! A playmate, friend, or help mate, partner. Any label will do except for wife... legally speaking.

joypulv
Mar 26, 2013, 11:02 AM
She is called your partner. I dont see why you have to label her as something beneath you.

Excellent word. My apologies for digressing into matters of death, when all OP is trying to do is write her CV.

DaniCalifornia
Mar 27, 2013, 04:29 AM
I'm not writing a CV haha, I'm currently a nail artist. There is NO chance of children any time soon, I feel far too young.

With regards to the wedding date, good heavens haha. We're rationing our food, there's also no chance of the wedding any time soon.

I think it'd be homemaker on a CV. I went to a workshop last year and spoke to a woman who has never worked, and has always looked after her 6 children. The speaker said she can take the skills from being a mother at home and use them on her CV, by exaggerating the organisation, cleaning, taxi, cook, nanny etc!

JudyKayTee
Mar 27, 2013, 06:33 AM
Assuming the other partner works, how about paid companion?

Wondergirl
Mar 27, 2013, 07:20 AM
I think it'd be homemaker on a CV. I went to a workshop last year and spoke to a woman who has never worked, and has always looked after her 6 children. The speaker said she can take the skills from being a mother at home and use them on her CV, by exaggerating the organisation, cleaning, taxi, cook, nanny etc!
I've helped people with resumes since 1985, and doing something like that, turning a homemaker/mother who hadn't worked for ten years, into a desirable employee is probably the most fun I have! -- that and showing people how they can rename job skills if they switch careers or change jobs. I always feel like a Puzzle Master.