Is it OK for your spouse to stay friends with the other woman after she finds out he's married, and communicates on Facebook?

I am not a big fan of it myself. Some people can pull it off but in most situations I can see it leading to problems. Boundaries should be respected by both parties.

I am not a big fan of it myself. Some people can pull it off but in most situations I can see it leading to problems. Boundaries should be respected by both parties.

My problem, with that is there both Christians, I know we're not perfect people, but we should have the up most respect for , if we love CHRIST,

Apparently he isn't as Christian as he purports to be or there would have never been an "other woman."

He does have the option of blocking her from his FB or close it down completely.

My problem, with that is there both Christians, I know we're not perfect people, but we should have the up most respect for , if we love CHRIST,

That didn't stop Jim Bakker, Jimmy Swaggert, or the guy in Colorado who had the homosexual affairs.

If you have to ask this question I suspect there are bigger problems than the spouse staying in contact with the "other woman." Christians or not - she owes you nothing. He made promises to you, promises which he broke.

QUOTE by J_9;
Apparently he isn't as Christian as he purports to be or there would have never been an "other woman."

He does the option of blocking her from his FB or close it down completely.

True!. And, if she found out that he was married I think she should had respect for the wife, and closed her page no matter what he told her about the relationship, So!! That means she's no better then he unless they had more then just an conversation.


If you have to ask this question I suspect there are bigger problems than the spouse staying in contact with the "other woman." Christians or not - she owes you nothing. He made promises to you, promises which he broke.

You right about not owing me anything, because a real woman respects her values, and her self, so too me she doesn't matter, it's just some people has to know when you step out of your zone of respect, then I Will guide you to let you know your messing with fire. And I'm not the one going too Burn you!! It's your choice to choose, Heaven or Hell!.

Let's see - she had an affair with your husband, you're concerned that she didn't show you respect, and you believe she will rot or burn in Hell. Do I have it right? If so, won't he be right there, with her?

Firstly, this is a global public website. We have members of all religions. Secondly, you cannot dictate who does or does not respond to your threads. Third, this is the Relationship board NOT the Christianity board.

Lastly, I see you laying blame with this woman but not your husband. If the two of you (you and your husband) do not want contact from this woman, it is your husband's responsibility to shut down his FB page.

QUOTE by J_9;
Firstly, this is a global public website. We have members of all religions. Secondly, you cannot dictate who does or does not respond to your threads. Third, this is the Relationship board NOT the Christianity board.

Lastly, I see you laying blame with this woman but not your husband. If the two of you (you and your husband) do not want contact from this woman, it is your husband's responsibility to shut down his FB page.

I never blame the woman I ask a question about what others think and let's get off the religion quote, if I mention God, that's me, I Will not stop putting my Faith believes out of my mouth.

I think I am either missing something or maybe seeing the issue in a different way.

What exactly is their relationship? What is your agreement on boundary lines with your husband?

I see no mention of infidelity or crossing over any lines of good behavior. Of course, I don't consider making a new friend crossing boundary lines, do you? You say they are friends not lovers or ex-lovers. You don't say how they met or anything about their relationship.

If they are just friends: From her point of view, why should she stop being friends with him if she has no intentions of being 'more'? Is he not allowed to make new friends or do they all have to be male?

I am having a difficult time understanding where either of them have caused any disrespect. Has there been more to their exchanges than being friendly?

I think I am either missing something or maybe seeing the issue in a different way.

What exactly is their relationship? What is your agreement on boundary lines with your husband?

I see no mention of infidelity or crossing over any lines of good behavior. Of course, I don't consider making a new friend crossing boundary lines, do you? You say they are friends not lovers or ex-lovers. You don't say how they met or anything about their relationship.

If they are just friends: From her point of view, why should she stop being friends with him if she has no intentions of being 'more'? Is he not allowed to make new friends or do they all have to be male?

I am having a difficult time understanding where either of them have caused any disrespect. Has there been more to their exchanges than being friendly?

She has referenced her as the other woman, but I would like some clarity on that reference also. That changes everything if she is an ex, or ex lover and he is a cheater. Regardless the husband and wife should be the ones defining what appropriate or not within their marriage.

So!! That means she's no better then he unless they had more then just an conversation.

I'm confused. You said she's the other woman. But here it sounds like you're saying that they're just friends, just talking. Which is it? Did they have a sexual relationship or not?

I think I am either missing something or maybe seeing the issue in a different way.

What exactly is their relationship? What is your agreement on boundary lines with your husband?

I see no mention of infidelity or crossing over any lines of good behavior. Of course, I don't consider making a new friend crossing boundary lines, do you? You say they are friends not lovers or ex-lovers. You don't say how they met or anything about their relationship.

If they are just friends: From her point of view, why should she stop being friends with him if she has no intentions of being 'more'? Is he not allowed to make new friends or do they all have to be male?

I am having a difficult time understanding where either of them have caused any disrespect. Has there been more to their exchanges than being friendly?

Ok!. Now I don't mine talking too someone with concerns of the matter, (Mature).. Well.. We been married for Six years, it's been good and bad, but we both stayed in it, he start talking too her on a Web suite, and they met up one day and sat in his car, they were talking,kissing, and, he fumbled with her breast,. Now!! Doing all this she didn't know he was married, that's why I don't blame her, but after becoming friends with him on fb, she notice my post back and forth with me complimenting him, as my husband, and that's when I notice, her, when she respond on his page, saying Oh"congratulation, on your marriage, I know what they done by his email, and after we separated, it's Been 2 years, and we're still seeing each other, but, I ask him why is it she's his fd on fb, he says nothing going on I do believe it, but not trusting it because, when you care or love someone you Will keep them in you coner, and let the other be friends with the both that's respect if nothing else happened,. other then that it's an issue,

The issue is with YOUR husband, not her, as he allows contact when he should STOP IT!

The issue is with YOUR husband, not her, as he allows contact when he should STOP IT!

Thank You I truly agree!

Oh Yeah!. he said they don't communicate any more but she's a friend, only!. I ask why she's your friend, he said because he help her out with just mentoring her though things and she helped him as well, bull crap I said, but it shows me he don't love with his heart he uses his mind, and get deceived by emotions, but we friends, just making some decision, that want hurt no one,

You're being played for a fool - why do you believe him?

For that matter, if you're separated, why do you care if he's friends with "her"?

after we separated, it's Been 2 years, and we're still seeing each other,

Don't know how I missed that fact but seems you should be looking for a divorce. His friends are not your business.

I agree with Judy and Tal. If you're separated, that means he can talk to whomever he wants, he can see whomever he wants, he can even had sex with whomever he wants. You both made the decision to separate. If you're not seeing anyone during the 2 years you've been separated, that's your choice. That doesn't mean he has to make the same choice.

Either be married, or divorce. It's time to fish or cut bait.

A lot of this is in the "if you snoop be prepared to deal with what you find" category.

My advice is to stay off his FB (part of the playing for a fool is allowing OP access to his FB when it causes problems - I see him enjoying every bit of this), either fish or cut bait (as stated by Alty) and move on.

And OP isn't married. OP is separated. There's a difference.

I also don't understand what this says/means: " I ask him why is it she's his fd on fb, he says nothing going on I do believe it, but not trusting it because, when you care or love someone you Will keep them in you coner, and let the other be friends with the both that's respect if nothing else happened ,.. other then that it's an issue,"

OP was asked very politely to keep religion off the boards. Her response was, at best, argumentative. I can only imagine how she behaves in real life. There is a reason for the separation. It sounds like his idea, not hers, particularly if they still "see" each other.

I think there's more to this than this post.