Chris3199
Mar 19, 2013, 05:22 AM
Last year, from September to early December my wife had an affair, apparently she'd know n this person since her teens, last year was horrible, firstly she had skin cancer in February and then in September her mother died, now our marriage wasn't great at this time, she's been married before and I haven't. We've been married for three years, I'm now 41, I know I should have handled the situation better in regards to her mother dying but I just didn't know what to do, I'd never been in a situation were someone one I loved needed that kind of support.
She told me in December that she'd been f@cking someone else, I was gutted, I've never felt so terrible in my life. Although I had my suspicions I just didn't want to believe it, when my wife told, I said two things, firstly I told her I knew but didn't want to believe it, secondly I told I just want my wife back, 3 months later we are still together, I love her dearly despite catching her twice since then communicating with this guy through FB, to my knowledge, and I do believe her this has finally stopped, due in part to actions that at the time I felt I had no other choice but to act the way I did, I rang him and threatened him, I sent him messages telling him I knew where he lived, his wife's phone number, email address etc etc, all of which I've never used except I rang his house and he answered and I explained in no uncertain terms to leave my wife alone, she has made a decision and he has to respect that.
I still struggle with what happened and deal with on a day to day basis, it would have been a lot easier if he had not contacted my wife twice since she ended the affair, which she assures me the he contacted her, not the other way around. I see him as a vulture who prayed on my wife after her mother died, lets say she had a weak moment, she has explained to me that she had never stopped loving me through out all this and that she never loved this other person, I don't want a divorce but I'm having a tough time trying to forget, I've forgiven, but forgetting is a lot tougher, will I ever get over this, I do trust my wife as she's said it will never happen again and I know how ashamed she is about what happened, please help me if you can
She told me in December that she'd been f@cking someone else, I was gutted, I've never felt so terrible in my life. Although I had my suspicions I just didn't want to believe it, when my wife told, I said two things, firstly I told her I knew but didn't want to believe it, secondly I told I just want my wife back, 3 months later we are still together, I love her dearly despite catching her twice since then communicating with this guy through FB, to my knowledge, and I do believe her this has finally stopped, due in part to actions that at the time I felt I had no other choice but to act the way I did, I rang him and threatened him, I sent him messages telling him I knew where he lived, his wife's phone number, email address etc etc, all of which I've never used except I rang his house and he answered and I explained in no uncertain terms to leave my wife alone, she has made a decision and he has to respect that.
I still struggle with what happened and deal with on a day to day basis, it would have been a lot easier if he had not contacted my wife twice since she ended the affair, which she assures me the he contacted her, not the other way around. I see him as a vulture who prayed on my wife after her mother died, lets say she had a weak moment, she has explained to me that she had never stopped loving me through out all this and that she never loved this other person, I don't want a divorce but I'm having a tough time trying to forget, I've forgiven, but forgetting is a lot tougher, will I ever get over this, I do trust my wife as she's said it will never happen again and I know how ashamed she is about what happened, please help me if you can