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View Full Version : How can I convince her that I want to be with her despite her issues?


sneesemaphore
Mar 18, 2013, 12:50 PM
I've been seeing this girl for about 2 months. She has depression, social anxiety and quite a complicated past, which she is getting help for in the form of several types of therapy. I would say that the social anxiety aspect affects our relationship the most, as she does not feel comfortable in group situations. She is trying to push her boundaries though, and has met a couple of my friends in quiet situations. These issues do not bother me. She is a beautiful human, and I want to be with her. However, in the past couple of weeks she has been much more distant than before, and her isolation seems to have worsened. As such, to me, it seemed like she had lost interest in me/our relationship. Yesterday evening I asked her directly about this, and she told me that she was worried she would hurt me, upset me and drag me down with her issues, so she was pushing me away and isolating herself in order to avoid this. If I let this happen Im really worried she will get so much worse and start making backward progress, as it has taken work for us to get to the stage where she trusts me even this much... (been together 2 months but been talking much longer)
Does anyone have any ideas how I can demonstrate that I still really want to be with her, that she doesn't hurt me, that she can't let herself get into this dangerous isolation cycle again, and that actually I might be falling in love with her a little bit. Im willing to put my heart on the line, I'm past playing it cool etc. However, I have said it to her straight and that does not appear to convince her. Any help?

Lifeisfull
Mar 20, 2013, 09:49 PM
I can relate with your girlfriend, I have depression and anxiety and sometimes my life is utterly a mess. I know how hard it is fir me to deal with things and I push myself through stay on my therapies and things get better again. Seeing how hard it is for myself to deal with it makes it harder for me to think about dragging someone else through it all with me. I have a dear friend that is like you and has never ran when I was at my worst. The best thing you can say and do is be there, listen, understand, and express your live for her no matter what. My friend always tells me he only runs with me never away from me. That means a lot to me.