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View Full Version : Is this a good poem? Its my first one.


shadowlight528
Mar 16, 2013, 10:46 AM
The Mother Earth

The swift stream of a glimmering waterfall
And the sweet sound of a gentle bird call
Lush vegetation all around
Oh this beauty, and you it does surround
A beautiful blue pond full of fish
Where you and all the innocent children make their greatest wish
The delicious fruits of life
They grow with no pain nor strife
Right out of this soil-enriched ground
Oh this beauty, and you it does surround
The sky is cloudless, never with a storm or a fright
Even at night
The stars are full and bright
And the moon, always so stark and full
At all times, the tides of the oceans it seamlessly pulls
In some ways, this may sound profound
But oh this beauty, and you it does surround

teacherjenn4
Mar 16, 2013, 11:04 AM
Good! Soil-enriched ground doesn't make sense, though. Can you think of a way to change that?

joypulv
Mar 16, 2013, 01:04 PM
Nice images, and refrain. I wonder about the moon always being full though, since it isn't.