So I and my ex met online and from that point on it was perfect. We hit it off really well and it almost seemed to go to be true. The whole relationship was perfect we never fought and never argued. We both fell deeply in love with each other and that’s the way it stayed for the whole relationship. She would always tell me how much she appreciated me in her life and how blessed she was to have me in her life. I got cards and texts telling me that I was the "ONE" and that she didn’t want to look anymore, that I was the one that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with and I was it for her. She reminded me of this all the time, and always told me how much she loved me. She introduced me to her whole family. We went out to dinner with her grandma and her grandma even commented that I was a keeper.

Eventually we moved in together and things went really well until she felt unsure because my apartment was a bit away from town and there wasn’t a whole lot of stores within walking distance cause she takes the bus and it takes 2 hours to get into town when normally would only take 30 minutes by car. I know this was a problem with her and I understood. I told her once my lease was up that we would move closer so she would be free to go to the store without relying on me to drive her everywhere, she is a very independent person that way.

About a month ago we found out that she was pregnant and we were both happy about it even though it wasn’t planned, she was even on birth control. She was happy as well, telling her whole family and she couldn’t have been more excited to have my baby. About a couple of days before the breakup she was spending time with her mom and I was at work and she texted me and brought up the idea of a promise ring, that she wasn’t ready for marriage yet but thought a promise ring would be appropriate for the time being, I agreed 100% and felt just a strong about it. She said that we were heading down the right road and that again she loved me so very much and was so grateful to have me in her life.

About a couple of days after that she became distant and was not affectionate as much anymore and we haven’t been intimate in a while since then. The day after that she wrote me a letter telling me that her emotions were out of whack and didn’t know what to think, she said she still loved me but wasn’t sure if she was still in love with me and that she need to find herself and get her head on straight. She said that it wasn’t a breakup letter but that she just needed to see if she still was still in love with me and figure out her feelings.

The day after the letter she broke up with me telling me that I wasn’t the one and that her feelings have changed. She told me that she needs to be alone and on her own. I was crushed cause of what she said in the past and I thought were going to have a happy future together. This does not seem like her at all, based on what she has felt and expressed up until now, this is not the same person. She has completely turned off all feelings towards me and now she says that we can just be friends. This doesn’t add up. I have talked to her mom and she told me I have nothing to worry about, and that she loves me and her emotions are just wishy washy, but since talking to her mom my ex has gotten upset for me talking to her mom and reminded me again that it just won’t work. I have a hard time believing this cause this was not her up until now. I have a 4yr daughter previous to this relationship and her mom left me for someone else so this is something I’m trying to avoid again, I cannot stand another broken family. I want to be the full time dad to our baby and I have a hard time believing this is what she want. She is it for me, the one and the only one I want to be with and I would like to marry her one day. Up until now she wanted to as well this is why it is so hard to believe that this is what she wants.

I’m trying to give her space and she is allowing me to go to all the doctor appointments but I’m afraid.

Anyone have any words of advice, do I have any chance of getting her back, and is this just the hormones from the pregnancy talking?

She is a first time mom, so judge NOTHING, just be there and be ready for whatever she says, does, or needs. She is as likely to bite your head off for anything even the good you do, but things will never be the same and you will have no clue if you are coming or going half the time.

Relax! You have been through this before, she hasn't, so be patient instead of fearful.

She is a first time mom, so judge NOTHING, just be there and be ready for whatever she says, does, or needs. She is as likely to bite your head off for anything even the good you do, but things will never be the same and you will have no clue if you are coming or going half the time.

Relax! You have been thru this before, she hasn't, so be patient instead of fearful.


What do you mean by Judge NOTHING, like I should not judge her on her actions right now cause of the hormones and the emotions, I've tried to understand and be supportive, but its hard to figure out what she is saying are her true feelings. Normally I would just accept what has happened and move on, but there is our baby involved and what she thinks she wants now is completely opposite of what she felt and wanted before the pregnancy so I have a hard time believing what she thinks she wants is actually true.

That's my point, relax and stop trying to figure what she means. Those are things to be put aside until AFTER the baby is born, and she is not subject to her mood swings, and hormones, that are a part of the birth process. You can't control any of it. But you will drive yourself crazy trying.

Don't argue with a pregnant female. Don't be a baby about YOUR feelings while she deals with the baby inside of her. Plenty of time for all that much later.

Anyone else have any insight? She claims she needs time alone to find herself, but I still don't understand why you would run away when your having a baby together, and especially when before she left she wanted a promise ring and eventually wanted to get married. Does anyone else think that after some time she will eventually change her mind?