Hello there community. I just joined, to ask this question and see what people think. So, I am, male and straight. There was recently a new addition to my group of friends, who is a few years younger than me. This friend wandered into my life about a year ago. Our friendship has grew drastically over this time. I find myself looking unto him like family, and would die for him if I needed to. Our friendship started with the occasional "hello" between us at a friends house and then finally we started going to the pool together, hanging out a little bit more, you know... a growing friendship. So far, nothing out of place at all. Just a couple of guys being friends honestly.

Lately, (over the last few months), this friend of mine has been getting closer and closer. Keep in mind, we are both straight males, but for some reason we have been getting closer together just naturally without thinking about it. We hang out like every day, he always trying to text me when he is away, and always trying to be with me when he is not home or busy.

When we are together, I and he both feel we can talk together about anything without judgment or bias from the other person. We both feel that we could hang out forever and would never get tired of each others company (we have talked about this a little bit is how I know). We do almost everything together, and this guy looks up to me more than any member of his family. One day I asked why he looked up to me the way he does (which is seemingly unconditional), his reason was "There is just something about you that I love".

Later down the road, he wanted to start staying at my house some nights and ended up sleeping on the floor of my bedroom while the TV is going. Shortly, after a few times of him staying over, he asked me if we can share my bed. As a man, with nothing to fear about this, I said "Yeah, sure". Keep in mind, the reason he wanted to stay over in the first place is that he has a bad home life, and cannot stand to be home because of his family and relationship with his parents, the way they treat him there, etc.

This guy has a girlfriend too. But he would leave her to hang out with me on the drop of a hat. Now, I mentioned that we are both straight guys. I love women, and so does he (as far as I know). I have never had an intimate or sexual thought about another man, and I don't think he has either. But... when we're together, it just feels "Right". It just feels like this is the way it was meant to be. We have not any sexual interactions, and I do not think about it. But I can honestly say I have so much love for him, that if he asked to do something, I don't know how I would react, but it would not as retaliatory as if some other male asked me about that.

I do not know what to think. The feelings I have for him I have never felt with any woman, much less another man. But when we're together, everything seems to make sense, and we seem to both make each other happier than anyone else in the world could. We just seem to be a perfect fit, and cannot get enough of each other. The reason I do not know what to think is because this is not something I, or anyone I know of has experienced yet. The crazy thing was, the first time I ever saw him I felt an instant attachment for him and never knew our friendship would even start, much less grow to what it is.

Does someone know what is going on? How is it that two straight men can share such an emotional connection, bond and be this way? How is that we can never get tired of each others company, or tired of each others voices, laughs, smiles, frowns and tears? Is it possible for two straight guys to fall in love at first sight? Or is it just some weird inner emotion or infatuation that we have never experienced before?

Both of us know these feelings exist, even though we have never fully discussed it. Neither of us have came out and said how we feel about each other truly, but we both can see it in each others eyes that it is there. I have told him, when he has listened to my cries, that I would die for him, I would do anything for him to make him happy... which is semi revealing I guess. But he has never shown me that level of affection, by telling me. However his emotions and his actions say something completely different and show what I have shared thus far.

So, any input on this is greatly appreciated. Please tell me what you think. Also, I will ignore all responses made in bias or judgment or that are seen harassment comments (EG- "you're just a couple of fags, get over it", etc) as well. I am serious about this, and I want to ask a community, to see what others around the world truly think. It is tripping me out, because this is a new set of emotions that have never come across me. Even my first love was not this high in my emotional spectrum and her and I "lost it" to each other and were in love and could not be separated. Any ways, I am probably rambling, but any assistance or almost any opinion is welcomed.

How old are you two?

This sounds very familiar as if I have read it before. But regardless...

You have a close bond - there's nothing wrong with that. If you are both young and have never felt a close bond before, then it is probably because you are maturing. Say a thank you that you have such a close friend.

However if this is the same posting as I read before and a different person this time, then I would be concerned. Or maybe even frightened. If it is the same posting and the same two people, come on...

Maybe you have not had a brotherhood bond this strong, but many do, and it has nothing to do with sex, or romance, and is all about deep friendship. Enjoy it, but don't get carried away by it, and it may last a lifetime.

How old are you two?

This sounds very familiar as if I have read it before. But regardless...

You have a close bond - there's nothing wrong with that. If you are both young and have never felt a close bond before, then it is probably because you are maturing. Say a thank you that you have such a close friend.

However if this is the same posting as I read before and a different person this time, then I would be concerned. Or maybe even frightened. If it is the same posting and the same two people, come on...

We are both in our late 20's. I have not posted this question before and I doubt he has. So I don't know what to say about that but I do appreciate your reply, it was most helpful. :)

Maybe you have not had a brotherhood bond this strong, but many do, and it has nothing to do with sex, or romance, and is all about deep friendship. Enjoy it, but don't get carried away by it, and it may last a lifetime.

I have 3 younger brothers, none of them I know and have only met a few times. So, I think it may be related to this honestly since he is 4 years younger than me and looks up to me like I am his older brother and tries everything he can to impress me. Also, your post was most helpful. Especiially "Enjoy it, but don't get carried away by it."

Those are my exact feelings, which is one reason I have not said this to him directly. The weird thing is though, is he does weird little flirty things like a guy would do to a woman. Like resting his head on my shoulder, trying to put his legs over mine, calling me funny nicknames and making fun of me when I mess up. That is what I failed to mention, but I need to note.

Thank you both. :)

Maybe he is bi and just doesn't want to tell you. It is possible. But seriously this isn't something to stress over. I LOVE having very close friends and cherish the times I spend with them. So count your blessings!

Maybe he is bi and just doesn't want to tell you. It is possible.

I guess that is possible.But don't you think that with the close connection we both share, that him being bi is something he would feel comfortable telling me? He does know I won't judge him for it, so I think he would tell me. But that does not mean he will, possibly due to fear of losing my friendship on my reaction. I just do not know what the thing is. It is confusing, this is the first time in months that I have brought this up anywhere.


I LOVE having very close friends and cherish the times I spend with them. So count your blessings!!

I agree. That is why I do not want to risk telling him these feelings directly (to see his opinion). I know of cases where people have done this and lost their best friend because they scared them away. I do not want this to happen to me. I am happy with our bond the way it is.

But I want to know what his intentions might be, and why he feels so close to me, and his little "flirts" (if that's what you call it). Also, why do I feel so close to him even though I am not bi, or gay? Why is it that when he does rest his head on my shoulder, I don't mind, whereas if another friend tried, we would be at conflict. Also, why do I not get bothered by his close affection and physical contact? This is where I am confused and at a loss of thought.

Dude it's a friendship. It's a close friendship. You both feel comfortable with each other. It isn't something to obsess over and it won't do your friendship any good by obsessing over it. Just enjoy the ride and have fun.

You have obviously never experienced or dealt with a guy on this level. It's a rare treat to be close and open enough for one to feel that comfortable with you. My own experience tells me that you should relax and see what is revealed to you later, rather than obsess about it now.

Maybe he is finding himself in all of this and has as much trouble and confusion expressing himself properly as you do. So don't overthink everything just continue on the path of Good Orderly Direction, and stay within the boundaries of good behavior. Learn each other in a safe healthy long term way, as indeed you already know that romances real or fiction often destroy a friendship when the intensity fades.

Good friendships can be forever if trust and respect is maintained. When dealing with forever, there is never a hurry no matter how curious.

Nice post Talaniman. Agree completely.

Good friendships can be forever if trust and respect is maintained. When dealing with forever, there is never a hurry no matter how curious.

I agree. I am also not obessing over this, I am just curious to see what others say about is all. And it turns my gut instinct was right. I was told of an expression, "Heterosexual Lifemates". Maybe that is what we are. It is possible and in no way is anything wrong with it.

Thanks for your replies, you've broadened my perspective on this subject. I appreciate it all.