Hi, everyone. I have a very huge problem right now. I’m J, 16 years. I am gay and I am deeply in love with a guy who has 27 years. We have been together for the last 6 months now. When we first started to know ourselves, he told me that he did not believe in gay relationships and that for him normally they last 1-2 months. While being with him, I have been continuously telling him that I loved him as when time passed I was falling in love with him. For the first 2 months, he has always been turning away from my confessions but still we had sex. He told me, that he has difficulty to express himself and that he would show that he loves only by actions.

For the next few months, he started telling me that he loves me by sms and I was fond when he was doing so. But it was not on regular basis. By that time I was deeply in love. He has always been telling me that one day he will have to get married (I mean to a woman as he is bisexual) and do not love him much but when he was telling me love me himself gave me more hope. Last Sunday from the past week he was changing. He was getting more short and cold in his sms and habits. I talked to him to ask why and he said that he decided to get marry this year. Then I asked him what he was really feeling for me and what he expected from me. He then replied that he has been considering me only as a friend for the past months and apart from that I’m zero. For him I was a "very good friend"(WITH WHOM HE HAD SEX). This really hurt me. I then told him that it was not possible for us to continue since he doesn’t feel anything for me (with all the pain). He then told me that he wants me as a very good friend and that he want to keep in contact with me and continue seeing me as we used to do. But me, I have very deep feelings for him and knowing that he doesn’t love me hurts me greatly.

I have met him Monday and returned him all his things he offered me. He argued to remain friend with him but for me it’s a difficult task. As his memories pass in me, it brings tears in my eyes I can’t resist. I have tried not to call him nor answer his call, but I fail. What should I do?

I am 71 yrs old, straight, and your problem is very similar to any "straight" person.
At 16 yrs old, please look for someone closer to your own age. You have a lot of growing to do, changes in thinking about things, and you will make it.
Smile, and others will want to talk with you. You will eventually meet someone you really like, maybe not over 19 yrs old, or your own age.
Things happen, and you will get over it. Good luck.

Do you realize how SELFISH he is being, by keeping in contact with you, knowing that you are in love? You should be angry. Anger is the healthy way to progress out of hurt. You tell a good friend how hurt you are, how angry you are that he doesn't care, your friend convinces you that he isn't worth suffering over, and eventually the anger passes too. That's how it should work, and has worked, for millions of people every day, all over the world.

You had all the warnings. He TOLD you that he normally lasts a month or two, and you didn't believe it. But you are forgiven because you are so young. Now you have learned a few things about life and people, and can use what you know to be a stronger person. Not bitter, just wiser. It takes our whole lives to learn it all!

You leave him alone and learn your lesson about love and lust. Love is a lot more than using the love word on a regular basis. You experienced young love, and equated sex and love, and obviously this mature bi male saw things differently.

Being at different stages in your lives how could it not be from different perspectives? But now you learn your second life lesson. What to do after the love/lust relationship has failed.

You leave the person alone and give yourself a chance to get over it, so you can heal, and good mental, and emotional health returns to you. Then you can be in control of yourself, and those hurt feelings, and build a life that you enjoy without the ex to make you happy.

That brings us to the third life lesson, which is never let your happiness totally depend on the attention from another. Being dependent on anyone, or anything is just not healthy.

You must cope with your "growing pains" in a mature thoughtful way, and make good decisions based on FACTS, and not just intense feelings of hurt, and disappointment. Don't worry, it gets better with time, and in your case, a lot of time, and work to heal, and rebuild yourself.

We all go through this and you are NOT ALONE!

Yes, he was selfish and cold with you. But also you are selfish to your own good will, you are ignoring what you could lose if you have such intimate relations. You are just too young, don't trust people you just met, and do not go back to him, it will be a big mistake, notice young lady that he is a player.
What if you were on the other side of his game?
What if you were the other woman in his life?
He is just toying with people for his filthy lust. Don't you dare go back, your life can be in danger. Believe me.
And what kind of friendship did you have? What is he talking about? That liar.
Don't ever get in touch with such people, there was no true bases of a relationship, did you even do something beside getting intimate? Like getting to know each other, or talking, and just hanging out and having fun. Stay away from him, and surround yourself with good real friends who care about you.

Everyone has given you good advice on here so I will just add to theirs. If you continue moving your life forward and not speaking to him, you will feel better day by day. He was not the perfect guy for you so you need to keep telling yourself that and keep looking for that person. It will happen. Get to know someone better before you have sex with him.

By the way this isn't the only roadblock you are going to have in life. So develop coping skills now while you are young because they are going to come in handy later in life. Remember you control your feelings and thoughts and emotions only. You can't control how another person is going to feel. We have all had breakups and survived. You will as well.