Confusedgirl-19
Mar 11, 2013, 07:11 PM
Hello
I am not really sure where to begin. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. In the beginning of the relationship he was OK, he took me cinemas, and nandos you know the usual. And I was happy. Before we lived together he helped me with bits of rent, here and there. However his friends made me go through hell. They told him he should not be with me as I was too dark, that I had nappy hair and hard skin. They made cruel jokes about how does he see me in the dark when the lights are off. I told him and them that I didn’t like the remarks and that they hurt my feelings but none of them listen they carried on and even in public. Althoght he is mixed-race and considers himself black his friends are the same color as me (Black). One even threatened to punch me and throw me out of his house when I caught him trying to give my man another girl’s number after a Dj performance. I thought he would stick up for me instead he asked me to apologize to his friend which of course I refused.
His friends treated him like rubbish before he moved in with me. They made him clean the kitchen called him names which they claimed is a joke, they spoke to him like they were talking to their annoying little brother which I found very disrespectful. I sat him down and had a word with him so he could see sense. But he didn’t he said he had known these boys since school and they were just joking. Whiles living with his friends, he got kicked out of uni, he lost his job as he was staying up all night on the play station and too tired in the mornings to stay awake at work
I gave him the ultimatum that either he moves in with me or stay living with his friends as I could not take any more of their rubbish. Once he moved in everything changed. I got him back into uni, and found him a job at my work place and encouraged him to do his driving. I practiced with him for the theory till he passed everything and bought his car. Although he makes me laugh and I am happy around him. Everything has changed. I feel like I could do better. He is living in my house, but never pays his share of rent, I literally have to force him before I can get it. He only pays £50 per week and that’s all I ask for but even to get this is a problem. He never helps with the house work, his answer to this is that I am a woman and therefore should cook and clean for him. Secondly he never say he loves or buy flowers or treat me specially. He forgets my birthdays and valentines. Recently when I ask to go to dinner he asked me if I am going to bring my purse with me. When I need help with university assignment he is never there to help even though he is in the year above me doing the same course. I have helped him numerous times to do his assignment which he passed with flying colors.
We also work in the same place however he starts an hour later than me therefore finishing after me. I use to wait one hour every day so we could go home. But when my shifts got swapped around and found it hard to wait for me, so I ended up taking the bus home in the cold weather while he is at home playing on the Xbox. Am not saying he is all bad but I am so confused. I love this guy but even to do the simplest things for me he cant. But if I was to say right this minute I want you out of my house, I want to finish with you . He acts a lot nicer to me. I hope I have made sense, I could go on forever.
I didn’t mention that I can’t drive. I put mine off for him to be able to do his. And when he bought his car I also put 400 pounds toward the insurance. That was two years ago but now he doesn’t want to take me anywhere, he makes me feel guilty for asking to be dropped off somewhere, he huff and grumbles. He makes me late when I need to be at appointments. He texts girls and recently put a code on his phone. I know he is not cheating because the only time we separate is when we are at work or university apart from that we are always together.
I’ve given up all my friends because they were bad influences but he still has all of his friends. He goes out all the time while I stay at home. All of my family is still in Africa. All of his family is here in the UK. It is very stressful to take responsibility for my family as well as him. He picks his friends over me any day. I’ve even had to call the police to come and remove him from my house because he refused to give me space.
I am not really sure where to begin. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. In the beginning of the relationship he was OK, he took me cinemas, and nandos you know the usual. And I was happy. Before we lived together he helped me with bits of rent, here and there. However his friends made me go through hell. They told him he should not be with me as I was too dark, that I had nappy hair and hard skin. They made cruel jokes about how does he see me in the dark when the lights are off. I told him and them that I didn’t like the remarks and that they hurt my feelings but none of them listen they carried on and even in public. Althoght he is mixed-race and considers himself black his friends are the same color as me (Black). One even threatened to punch me and throw me out of his house when I caught him trying to give my man another girl’s number after a Dj performance. I thought he would stick up for me instead he asked me to apologize to his friend which of course I refused.
His friends treated him like rubbish before he moved in with me. They made him clean the kitchen called him names which they claimed is a joke, they spoke to him like they were talking to their annoying little brother which I found very disrespectful. I sat him down and had a word with him so he could see sense. But he didn’t he said he had known these boys since school and they were just joking. Whiles living with his friends, he got kicked out of uni, he lost his job as he was staying up all night on the play station and too tired in the mornings to stay awake at work
I gave him the ultimatum that either he moves in with me or stay living with his friends as I could not take any more of their rubbish. Once he moved in everything changed. I got him back into uni, and found him a job at my work place and encouraged him to do his driving. I practiced with him for the theory till he passed everything and bought his car. Although he makes me laugh and I am happy around him. Everything has changed. I feel like I could do better. He is living in my house, but never pays his share of rent, I literally have to force him before I can get it. He only pays £50 per week and that’s all I ask for but even to get this is a problem. He never helps with the house work, his answer to this is that I am a woman and therefore should cook and clean for him. Secondly he never say he loves or buy flowers or treat me specially. He forgets my birthdays and valentines. Recently when I ask to go to dinner he asked me if I am going to bring my purse with me. When I need help with university assignment he is never there to help even though he is in the year above me doing the same course. I have helped him numerous times to do his assignment which he passed with flying colors.
We also work in the same place however he starts an hour later than me therefore finishing after me. I use to wait one hour every day so we could go home. But when my shifts got swapped around and found it hard to wait for me, so I ended up taking the bus home in the cold weather while he is at home playing on the Xbox. Am not saying he is all bad but I am so confused. I love this guy but even to do the simplest things for me he cant. But if I was to say right this minute I want you out of my house, I want to finish with you . He acts a lot nicer to me. I hope I have made sense, I could go on forever.
I didn’t mention that I can’t drive. I put mine off for him to be able to do his. And when he bought his car I also put 400 pounds toward the insurance. That was two years ago but now he doesn’t want to take me anywhere, he makes me feel guilty for asking to be dropped off somewhere, he huff and grumbles. He makes me late when I need to be at appointments. He texts girls and recently put a code on his phone. I know he is not cheating because the only time we separate is when we are at work or university apart from that we are always together.
I’ve given up all my friends because they were bad influences but he still has all of his friends. He goes out all the time while I stay at home. All of my family is still in Africa. All of his family is here in the UK. It is very stressful to take responsibility for my family as well as him. He picks his friends over me any day. I’ve even had to call the police to come and remove him from my house because he refused to give me space.