Somewherenks
Mar 9, 2013, 11:30 PM
My 27 year old daughter and I have had a few battles in the past over our differences, we have managed to overcome. This one I am not so such about, I am drained, emotionally exhausted.
When my Mother died, I received an inheritance; the bank let me open an account without having valid identification. When I needed a cashier’s check to pay for a vehicle, they refused due to the i.d issue. My daughter was with me, so she opened an account, got the cashier’s check that night and then moved the money to another bank in her name until I could get a valid i.d to open my own account. I keep putting off the i.d issue and before I knew it the money was gone. I asked my daughter for the statements to that account, she replied, “I don’t want you all up in my business”, I let it go at the time, asked again, and she refused.
I convinced her to give me two of the monthly statements, I had to prove I made payments to company, once I received those statements I noticed she was using a debit card, there were automatic payments (debts) for different things taken out of the account. Her insurance 200.00, our cell phones 350.00 x’s 4 months, money transfers from this account to another, the list goes on. I am not sure exactly how much is gone; I believe it’s less than 8,000.00. I have asked for the statements, she continues to refuse.
I did not tell her Dad about any of this due to the stress it would put on him, he had a major heart attack and I try to handle the stress and shield him. Moving forward, My daughter was here to pick up her son, while here it was mentioned that my grandson will see me Saturday night, I asked her, why, what’s Saturday night, she replied, I don’t know you talked to Jim, (not real name), then walked away. The story behind that, Jim had told me my daughter was begging him to take off work Sunday because she had made plans, when he refused; my daughter told him she would get Mom (me) to take him. My daughter has not been a great Mother to her son; she would rather spent time out playing with her so called friends then be a mother. Jim is a wonderful father and I have always dealt with that knowing that she yells and be little’s her son and has no patience with him, so we are fine with taking him.
I had told Jim that I didnt’t want my grandson until my daughter could ask me. I didnt’t want to let her get by with telling me, “I don’t know, Jim said you talked to him”. When the Saturday came for Jim(is a firefighter and has 4 days on, 4 days off), to deliver my grandson to his Mother, she would not answer her phone, so I ended up with my grandson that night and the next day. I attempted to get ahold of her; she would not answer my calls. I texted her and told her what a POS (piece of sh**) she was for what she was doing, as well has a few other not so nice text.
Fast forward again, my daughters’ car broke down, her Dad went to look at it (in the worst snow storm in years), when he could not determine what was wrong, it was towed here. In the past when he has worked on cars, I do the research needed online to help him out. I had questions which would aid in the research, I texted my daughter explaining that I understood that she was not talking to me but I was doing research and if she didn’t get back to me her car was not going to be fixed. She answered the first time but refused to answer my questions again. I told her Dad that she wasn’t answering me, he texted her and she returned the answer right away. This is when I blew, I said she could come get the car and take it to the shop to have the transmission fixed, she could pay $4000.00 to 6000.00, to have it fixed, I didn’t care, I would not be doing any research and would not help out in any way to aid in her car being fixed. I had already posted a question on a website forum and was waiting for an answer and now I refused to even check on answer for her (him), which is now putting a huge strain on us. I have not talked to him all day, the last thing I said to him was, “she needs to have that car towed out of here to have it fixed”, “she wants to treat me like I have done wrong, and you should not allow it”. He knows about the money missing, I finally told him a few weeks ago after he had some questions.
So here I set typing my story, hoping someone out there will be able to help me get through this, give me some advice on how to handle this. I am still in my pajamas, crying most of the day. I am exhausted, so very tired and unable to get passed this anger and sadness.
There are a few other things that had happened before, her and I have had it. She claims to be so brake, yet she took a cruise in January, she said someone stole my grandson’s iPad, yet she refused to make a police report. I told her that made her look guilty, especially when she paid for her cruise shortly after that. A few other things but I don’t want to go on and on.
Thanks so much for allowing me to have a place to post this, I really hope for insight on how to handle this. We have a family wedding coming up next weekend and I don’t want to go because of her, I want nothing to do with her. Actually all the stuff she has dropped off for us to store, I want to pack in her car and sit the rest of it out on the curb, I do not like my daughter at all right now.
When my Mother died, I received an inheritance; the bank let me open an account without having valid identification. When I needed a cashier’s check to pay for a vehicle, they refused due to the i.d issue. My daughter was with me, so she opened an account, got the cashier’s check that night and then moved the money to another bank in her name until I could get a valid i.d to open my own account. I keep putting off the i.d issue and before I knew it the money was gone. I asked my daughter for the statements to that account, she replied, “I don’t want you all up in my business”, I let it go at the time, asked again, and she refused.
I convinced her to give me two of the monthly statements, I had to prove I made payments to company, once I received those statements I noticed she was using a debit card, there were automatic payments (debts) for different things taken out of the account. Her insurance 200.00, our cell phones 350.00 x’s 4 months, money transfers from this account to another, the list goes on. I am not sure exactly how much is gone; I believe it’s less than 8,000.00. I have asked for the statements, she continues to refuse.
I did not tell her Dad about any of this due to the stress it would put on him, he had a major heart attack and I try to handle the stress and shield him. Moving forward, My daughter was here to pick up her son, while here it was mentioned that my grandson will see me Saturday night, I asked her, why, what’s Saturday night, she replied, I don’t know you talked to Jim, (not real name), then walked away. The story behind that, Jim had told me my daughter was begging him to take off work Sunday because she had made plans, when he refused; my daughter told him she would get Mom (me) to take him. My daughter has not been a great Mother to her son; she would rather spent time out playing with her so called friends then be a mother. Jim is a wonderful father and I have always dealt with that knowing that she yells and be little’s her son and has no patience with him, so we are fine with taking him.
I had told Jim that I didnt’t want my grandson until my daughter could ask me. I didnt’t want to let her get by with telling me, “I don’t know, Jim said you talked to him”. When the Saturday came for Jim(is a firefighter and has 4 days on, 4 days off), to deliver my grandson to his Mother, she would not answer her phone, so I ended up with my grandson that night and the next day. I attempted to get ahold of her; she would not answer my calls. I texted her and told her what a POS (piece of sh**) she was for what she was doing, as well has a few other not so nice text.
Fast forward again, my daughters’ car broke down, her Dad went to look at it (in the worst snow storm in years), when he could not determine what was wrong, it was towed here. In the past when he has worked on cars, I do the research needed online to help him out. I had questions which would aid in the research, I texted my daughter explaining that I understood that she was not talking to me but I was doing research and if she didn’t get back to me her car was not going to be fixed. She answered the first time but refused to answer my questions again. I told her Dad that she wasn’t answering me, he texted her and she returned the answer right away. This is when I blew, I said she could come get the car and take it to the shop to have the transmission fixed, she could pay $4000.00 to 6000.00, to have it fixed, I didn’t care, I would not be doing any research and would not help out in any way to aid in her car being fixed. I had already posted a question on a website forum and was waiting for an answer and now I refused to even check on answer for her (him), which is now putting a huge strain on us. I have not talked to him all day, the last thing I said to him was, “she needs to have that car towed out of here to have it fixed”, “she wants to treat me like I have done wrong, and you should not allow it”. He knows about the money missing, I finally told him a few weeks ago after he had some questions.
So here I set typing my story, hoping someone out there will be able to help me get through this, give me some advice on how to handle this. I am still in my pajamas, crying most of the day. I am exhausted, so very tired and unable to get passed this anger and sadness.
There are a few other things that had happened before, her and I have had it. She claims to be so brake, yet she took a cruise in January, she said someone stole my grandson’s iPad, yet she refused to make a police report. I told her that made her look guilty, especially when she paid for her cruise shortly after that. A few other things but I don’t want to go on and on.
Thanks so much for allowing me to have a place to post this, I really hope for insight on how to handle this. We have a family wedding coming up next weekend and I don’t want to go because of her, I want nothing to do with her. Actually all the stuff she has dropped off for us to store, I want to pack in her car and sit the rest of it out on the curb, I do not like my daughter at all right now.