So they have 2 kids together, he doesn't see his kids much we have two kids together too. Last few weeks he's told me, "oh I talked to (her name)" that it wasn't about the kids but taxes. She lives with her boyfriend they have one kid together.

Well, he used to call her a *****, now its her name and he gets mad if I told him if they're seeing each other. Idk when they talk, how long because he does it when I'm not around. I'm worried he'll go back to her and even though we have 2 kids feels like I'm a rebound.

Did I mention he's said she'll always have a place in his heart? Sure she's his baby mama but really pissed me off when he said that. I'm starting to question who left who since few years ago his son told me his mom left their dad not other way.

I want to get a job, save up, and GTF Out! I'm tired of this resentment, he dumped me while pregnant with my 2nd, 8 months along, I took him back. What should I do? Is he still in love with her?

Maybe, just maybe everyone in this little story should learn the virtues of condoms, the pill, abstinence, and separate bedrooms.

I am so sorry you are so involved with all this, and having children makes this a complete bad scene.
If you can afford it, please get a lawyer and try getting child support from this man. I would leave, try finding a job to take care of the children. You don't need this kind of life with a man you don't trust. I do wish you good luck. You might find a lawyer that will do something for you, and not be paid unless he/she is successful.


Maybe, just maybe everyone in this little story should learn the virtues of condoms, the pill, abstinence, and separate bedrooms.

Very good thoughts, but a little late for them.

He helps me out diapers food etc he's caring just fact his ex baby mama I don't trust she's cheated on him numerous times he said eff her they're history he's with me now and forever she's been out pic. Just he needed tax info they rarely talk about months without talking. I told him why they talk behind my back he said I would freak out no shecit. I am on the 5 yr IUD now so no babies! Thank you guys for the responses!!

Why do baby mamas always have to be so jealous of each other and react out of fear and insecurity? Seems you are the one building insecurities because if he can't talk to you straight about talking to her, then what's the guy to do? Lie to keep peace?

Since they rarely talk any way by your own admission, why do YOU have to have a resentment?

He said before we got together she wanted him but he rejected her but its not jealousy its fact they haven't talked for a year out of nowhere they're now? He brings her up during conversations I found a picture of her he still had claimed he didn't know was there. When I get sick he doesn't.comfort me when I cry he says he hates crying he used to comfort me. I'm going to leave.him as soon as I'm financially secure I'll ask for child support.I get called a for doing nothingwhen I had my son he would be.gone till 12pm next day. when he's home he's watching netflix he sees negatives of me never positives. Im done babying him, I'm not going to bend backwards for him if he's not for me. I don't have anywhere to stay at this is not my hometown. I've mistakenly took him his coded phone to find it open, he was flirting with this girl who had a boyfriend she flirted back.Her name is Ashley said they quit talking, I've caught pics of a girl sending him bikini shots. He used to be a player but bet he's never changed. I've told him who girl was, doesn't know her a girl named Ashley called him while he showered. Never used to use body spray now he does he shaves, brushes his teeth puts on body spray. He likes making me jealous because he said its to make me not so jealous. I've caught him on messenger video chatting w this beotch he said I'm seeing things. I've caught him lying to me adding girls on fb who he effed yrs ago out.of nowhere he was adding them. I used to be hsppy go lucky then that changed.

Well at least you have learned a valuable lesson through all this. And that is to be more selective and not just jump into a relationship without knowing the person first. You will be forever tied to him since there are kids involved.

I won't be tied to him, I'll change my number he complains about taking kids to doctor our girl had bladder infection he nagged a lot makes me think he couldn't give a hell if we moved out. I'm going to college open kids their own bank accounts, they'll be financially stable for years to come. I plan to do criminal justice, if I stay single till death so be it. My kids are little babies they deserve better than anything for good future for themselves as how economy is.

The first indication that you're in a bad situation is your use of the term "Baby Daddy". There's a reason that parents generally recommend their kids get married first, then when the marriage is on solid footing, they have some money in the bank, a couple of reliable cars, a secure housing situation - THEN they have a baby. I don't mean to sound judgmental but I personally believe it's appropriate to judge things that are matters of choice, and you chose a "baby daddy" instead of a husband and father. The difference between the two is that Baby Daddies are indescriminate, unreliable boys and husbands/fathers are stand-up men who take care of their families.

Your decision has been to be with a man, without any real commitment, who has not been there for his first family, and to have a second child with him, so you are in the situation you have designed. You have known better all along, right? You've known you really can't afford another baby, for example, or that his lack of commitment means there's no solid future on which you can build a family together?

I am sympathetic with your situation - many women get into one bad situation to get out of another, and can feel like a marginal man and a sort-of commitment to a guy who is kind-of a family man is better than where they started. But know this - you can have it all if you demand it for yourself.

There are many programs available for women with dependent children who do not have adequate financial means to support themselves. You would likely qualify for child care subsidies, food stamps, wellfare, perhaps free education to get trained in a solid profession where you can earn enough to support yourself and your children. You would probably qualify, also, for free services from Planned Parenthood or medical assistance including getting on birth control. If you aren't good at remembering, try a long-term form of birth control.

You need a good occupation, reliable child care, stable housing in a safe neighborhood. Your children need healthy nutrition, daily baths, a predictable schedule and reliable adult caretakers; an absence of arguing and drama, daily time reading and playing with you. You can provide all of this without this deadbeat. Paying for a few diapers isn't even close to what a father should be doing. His first job is to respect the children's mother, and all else comes from that point - working together to provide for each other and the kids.

He's not going to be that guy - you didn't demand that kind of guy for yourself but you can in the future. Cut your losses, learn from your mistakes, embrace your blessings (your children, of course) and know you can do this.

I.can get a job I have five yrs experience I have birth control called iud its in for five yrs I have food stamps and medicaid. I am signed up for housing but they're so booked up.its ridiculous. I can't stay with sisters they have kids one is moving out of the U.S. I could stay with my friend but I would need a job. I want college.they'll pay.more for a degree.

I can't move out of state its considered a crime aka kidnapping here even if they're my kids!

I won't be tied to him

You are already tied to him. For life. You have children together.

She is tied to him as well. For life. THEY have children together.

You can either get used to that, or move on. But remember that he will be in your life forever.

You may have the IUD, but I've delivered babies to women who have it as well. There is NO form of birth control that is 100% effective.

You have food stamps and medicaid? Great! Another family I am paying for and I can't even afford my own.


I want college.they'll pay.more for a degree.

You mean I'll pay more for your degree? Yes, I would rather my tax dollars go for your education than for food stamps, medicaid and Section 8 housing.

Believe me I hate wellfare but I come from a poor family sorry, I had a decent job but my csection was an emergency so couldn't go back to work wasn't fully healed. I was asking for light work nope. I paid for people like me for yrs.

I give you a lot of credit. We've been tough on you and you are not lashing back as many people do. You clearly just want advice and help, so hats off to you for that.

Do not feel at all guilty if you need assistance. Apply for it, take it, and use it to get back into the workforce in a job that will pay enough for you to live on with your children.

I would recommend you meet with a community college counselor and find out what programs are available. They will help you with the finances, so don't even think about whether you can afford it. They usually have on-campus child care for children of students while those students are in class. It's not easy with two kids, but it's easier than living in poverty for years to come, so go for it.

There are grants and job training programs that will pay 100% for such expenses, including child care.

I recommend that you start in a program you can finish relatively quickly, like a trade program or two-year degree. This will get you into a better paying job sooner, and then you can finish your bachelors and beyond if you like, maybe even online. You can finish programs like cosmetology pretty quickly, or learn computer and general office skills to become a secretary. One good thing about these types of professions is that you can earn a living wage with benefits and normal hours, and you don't tend to bring work home, so if you want to, you can continue in school. There are also nurse assistant programs that you can finish in a few months, then continue on to get an LPN and ultimately your RN. Or you can get certified to do child care, if you enjoy being with children.

What you cannot afford to do is sit home feeling bad and like you have no options. The programs are out there to help women with young children improve their circumstances, and if you are willing to seize the opportunities, you can take this situation and make it into a great life for your children. When you are supporting your family, in your own place, feeling accomplished, you can become more demanding about what man you are willing to have in your life. Look for a husband, not a boyfriend. Look for that solid man with a job, who has goals and is on a sensible path, working hard to get to those goals. Forget about the charm and flattery, fancy cars or latest clothes - look for that solid guy, willing to do without now to have something that matters later.

You can do this - this guy is going to just hold you back, so foster a relationship between him and the children but be done with him as your partner. File for child support immediately because whomever files first is likely to get the best support order when there are multiple mothers and children.