I love my husband very much he's my life I been with him 19 years but he doesn't love me he tells me daily that he not in love with me and I just take it as if he will change his mind. I have no friends of my own. He losted his mum and dad some time ago and is an only child. He's had met some one else but came back to me after 7 weeks.that was 3 years ago and says I need to get over it because if I had cheated he wouldn't of had me back I begged him to come back as I didn't won't to carry on with out him. I have two boys who are 18 and 16 who live a happy life. But me I cook clean and go to work a. I've lost who I am. His dad was a drinker and my husband is going the same way but he can not see this. He says I am fat and old and ugley and at times I wish I would die because the pain is so much don't worry I not going to. No one new about this lady he met because I didn't won't people thinking bad of him.we still live together just.he sometimes don't come home all night and when he does he tells me not to start and to shut up. Don't get me wrong I am not a push over and I say bad things to him just because he hurts me. Its like he's dead inside since his mum and dad died.my home is no longer a home I can not go out I just work clean and sleep please help me

'dont get me wrong I am not a push over'
OH but you are.
' and I say bad things to him just because he hurts me'
That's even worse.
The two of you are in relationship hell. He wants to leave you but can't find anyone, plus he's depressed about his parents.
You have no friends (big mistake) and nag at him to cover your pain.
You are a working woman whose children are grown - GET A DIVORCE and start it NOW. Yes you can start over. Hundreds of millions of women do.

Your marriage is a train wreck that has already happened. You are working and your kids are not babies. Stop being a wimp. Stand up for yourself and do something. It is time for a divorce.

Agree with the others on this one. You deserve to have so much more from life. There is no way you will have more and be happy with him. Allow yourself the freedom and new start.

How much of the problem centers around the alcohol? I hate to always harp about the alcohol impact but you mention that he is a drinker like his father and that is often a clue of alcoholism. If he does have that problem and is not willing to get help for it, the situation will only get worse. Does he drink and drive?