Hello,

I'm sure this is a predicament that has come up one thousand times, but I just need to get this out of my system somehow...

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years (Im 23) and he is my rock. We live together and work at the same place.. However. I cannot stop thinking about someone else. He has been one of my best friends for nearly 10 years. I have never really stopped thinking about him but for some reason its getting worse again now. I hadn't seen him for nearly a year and we met up last week. I was so nervous and when I saw him I thought I might throw up, I had to hide my shakiness for about half an hour. One week on and I feel like I'm just deteriorating as a person. I can't eat and I daydream for 10 minutes at a time without noticing. All I can think about is him.

My boyfriend is the perfect guy. Loving, honest, kind and I genuinly think I couldn't live without him. I really feel like I'm falling out of love with him because of the other guy though.

I am in such a horrible situation at the moment as Im about to start looking for jobs and finding a career. I just put my head to anything at the moment. I am hoping this might pass but I don't know.

Thank you for any advice.

You are young, and have been with the same guy since you were 18. It's understandable that after 5 years, no matter how solid your boyfriend is, you are missing the old excitement of romance without even realizing it.
What to do? You can't win. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but you have to do something, or you will make life miserable for your nice boyfriend who loves you. I will suggest that you not jump into bed with the old friend before breaking up with the boyfriend. You may be alone for a while, you may even lose both of them, but that's the way it goes. You should be able to be alone anyway. It might be that time of your life when you need to do that while you sort out this stage of your life.

Almost in the exact situation. Early 20s, with boyfriend for over 5 years, and just starting to feel like we might have more differences than similarities. However, I adore him and his family. He loves my family and is great with my nieces and nephews. I am afraid that I am staying with him for our families and because I don't want to hurt him. But there is someone else who I have started to have really strong feelings for. I don't want to hurt my boyfriend and I always thought we would be together forever, but I am just afraid that as we have grown and matured we have grown apart and not together. I love him so much, but I just have this nagging feeling that we will just continue to grow apart from one another and that it could end up much worse for one or both of us in the long run. Good luck with figuring out what to do. I hope we both make the right decision, whatever that is.

This is why the young people in my generation (and earlier) didn't usually move in together before marriage -- you lose all your wiggle room when you do, and too often someone's heart gets broken.

You're going to have to 'fess up and be honest with him. Please do not continue this relationship on a lie -- you will certainly regret it and hate yourself (and hate him too).