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Kayly Anne
Feb 19, 2013, 05:17 AM
Boyfriend dilemma!

I am a 22 year old girl who have been dating this amazing guy for just over a year now (he is 29). He knows how to treat a woman, he brings me coffee and breakfast in bed (whenever I'm with him as we don't live together yet) he still opens the doors for me etc. Let's just say, he is a real gentleman. He treats me like a princess in front of his friends and everything a girl could want.

My dilemma now is that we don't share the same interest. He likes to play video games, I like surfing. He likes to be inside, I like to be outside in the sun, fresh air. I want to go out over weekends, he want to stay at home (says he had his time for partying) he let's me go out with friends but it's not the same, I want him to go with. Sometimes I feel like the video games is more important to him than anything else.

So about 2 months ago I started working at a surf shop which keeps me extremely busy. I only see my boyfriend over weekends as he works as well and we live quite some time from each other.. Sometimes we only see each other every second weekend.

But now the guy I work with (also 29) likes me but he respects the fact that I'm in a relationship. The thing is, I'm starting to think about him all the time! One weekend he invited me and my boyfriend to a small get together at their place. In the end, I went and my boyfriend stayed at home because "he doesn't know the people".. I had so much fun with them, we talked about surfing and our interests, (my boyfriend doesn't seem to care about my interests) we danced together, the other guy was really sweet, kept asking me if I'm okay etc.. He may not be the exact type of gentleman as my boyfriend, but he is also very special!

I am starting to like this guy and I really don't know what to do!

Oliver2011
Feb 19, 2013, 05:49 AM
You have a decision to make. Do you remain with the boyfriend or break it off with him. If you decide this relationship is important to you, then your boyfriend and you need to find a balance in sharing each other's interest. This is something you two should have been doing from the beginning.

My boyfriend (yeah I am gay) and I became exclusive in October I think and he moved in permanently at the beginning of each month. He surfs every Saturday all day and Sunday mornings. I play tennis every Saturday and Sunday mornings. So we didn't try to take that away from each other. What we did do is find stuff we can do together which is often and we have a date night every Saturday night where we don't plan anything with anyone else. It also helps that I surf as well so I go with him on some weekends when it isn't too cold.

If you decide you want to move in another direction, then take some time for yourself and don't jump into another relationship too fast. Sometimes when we are struggling in our current relationship any other relationship potential looks better. And then we find out it really wasn't. So take it slow and good luck!

talaniman
Feb 19, 2013, 06:43 AM
You can have all the fun you want as long as you stay within the boundaries of good behavior until you do figure out your love life. That's the priority, not the attraction to another fellow.

Oliver is correct, the grass always looks greener on the other side, but should that stop you from taking care of your own yard?

joypulv
Feb 19, 2013, 06:49 AM
Many people come here asking for advice, and the answer they want is often couched in what they write. I read that you want to start a new relationship. Find out more about your new friend without jumping into bed with him, but it's OK to tell him that you are having some doubts. DON'T complain about your boyfriend though. When the time comes, break up. You still have your own place.
If you are on the fence, tell your boyfriend the truth: you are enjoying the company of surfers and others who get out and about more than staying at home, and are considering breaking up, unless you two can talk. If he jumps to work on some compromises, take it from there.