I am getting married in May and I had a few quesitons that no one can help me out on.

1. I read that the groom is supposed to be responsible for making a "donation" to the church that your getting married at. That's fine... how much?

2. Do you tip the servers at the reception venue and if so how much?

I would grately appreciate any help in this matter.. I'm going bonkers over here trying to budget and its hard to nail down these numbers.

Normally the church building is rented and it use and clean up is paid by a fee. Normally the person funishing the music and the pastor are tipped.
I have gotten as little as 20 dollars ( I do a lot of low income weddings) to as much as several hundred dollars. ( our pastors just do for tips)

And yes often the servers are tipped. I think but not sure about 20 dollars

1. Usually the church (unless you're a member) will charge a fee for the use of their facilities. This may include various things, such as payment for the organist, minister, etc. Anything that's not covered it's appropriate for the groom to make a donation. I'd suggest maybe $100 for the minister, $75 for the organist and $75 to the church itself for the use of the facilities.

2. Often the gratuity is included in the price. Check with your catering facility to be sure. If not, then plan on tipping. Depending on the amount of work each one has to do, you're probably looking at $20 - $30 for each server. However, this would normally be the bride's family's expense.

I agree with S_cianci except that usually the musicians will charge you a set price and an additional tip is not warranted unless they have gone above and beyond. I think $100 for the minister and what you can afford as a donation to the church is appropriate. Tips for the reception should be about 20% and are probably going to be included in the bill. If the bartenders are hired by the food caterers, they will be tipped out from those gratuities in the case of an open bar. They may also receive additional tips from your guests throughout the evening. You might ask the catering service in advance how they handle tipping.

Remember to tip hairdressers, nail technicians, Limo drivers, hotel bellmen and airport skycaps ($1 per bag) and others in service professions. People sometimes forget these people particularly when services are provided during a busy wedding, and everyone thinks that someone else took care of it.

Guests should not ever pay tips for attending an event to which they were invited unless they take advantage of a personal service such as having their car parked at the reception.