Hello

I have been in touch with a guy my age 58 off a dating site.
We have got on fantastic emailing texting and talking on the phone for 3wks and had our first date last Saturday. When we met he said I looked really nice and we had a lovely night going to avout 3 bars watching bands which we both said we would like to do.

However in each pub he went to the toilet and left me on my own with the drinks till he came back which was quite a long time and on our first date together.
When he did come back I could smell cigarette smoke on him, (however on the dating site said he was a non-smoker and dod not want to date a smoker which I am not and never have been). I didn't say anything to him about smelling the smoke on him but feel that he had lied on his profile. I felt I was my normal self talking and making conversation and felt we got on OK. At the end of the night he got on the metro with me and got off at his stop and waved and smile to me. He asked me to let him know I got home safe.
I did and said I had had a lovely night with him and hope he did with me too?

He replied 45mins later and said "good I got home safe and that he had a great night with lovely company. Nite nitexxx".

It is now Tuesday and he hasn't contacted me at all even though every day for 3 weeks he contacted me morning and evening?

I have looked on the web site and he is available again for chatting to females?
I just cannot understand it or why he hasn't even sent an email or a text to say either way if there was problem?

Should I leave it as his loss or contact him myself?

Nikki

Have you contacted him since the date?

I don't understand why you mentioned the fact that he was smoking in the bathroom, or that you assumed he was smoking. Is that a deal breaker for you? If so, why are you waiting for him to contact you?

I'm a bit confused.

Hi

No just the fact that he told me he wasn't a smoker and that he didn't want to date a smoker but on the first date he left me to go for a smoke sneakely. Why didn't he tell me he smoked so that in fact was a lie?

Smoking is not a deal breaker but he should have been honest with me instead of leaving me standing on my own in a strange bar for nearly 15mins?

I would just feel as if he would think I was insecure and a needy woman if I was to contact him after the date as before the date he was in contact with me every day for 21days and has stopped straight after that date?

I did give him the vibes that I liked him and he did kiss me passionately on that night.

However in the last hour my friend has phone me to say that the guy I went out with has contacted her and said that he has had no luck on the dating website at all??

To me that seems he is looking straightaway for another female and has actually contacted a friend of mine too??

Obviously too much of a coward to let me know he didn't in fact want to see me again and not had the decency to let me know. He has just left it and not contacted me?

I feel so rejected and upset as he did hint at our next date?

Don't feel rejected, it was one date, and the two of you only talked for less than a month. This is not something to get upset about.

You had fun, you enjoyed the evening, so look at it as a good experience, and try again.

I wouldn't contact him. It seems like he has made his statement by contacting your friend and saying what he did.

(Pssst, it's not you with the problem; he is the one who clearly has a problem.)

Thanks I think so too!

I am full of fun outgoing very smart and a good person so I am told by my friends and family?

Obviously he has not felt a spark with me but why didn't he just say or get in touch and be a man to tell me as he felt our vibes were strong too?

I have grown to like him after this month of speaking to him and feel so low and rejected tonight.

Or on the otherhand is he waiting for contact me? I haven't so he thinks I am not interested and now looking on dating sites again? I always thought that if a guy was interested he would give chase and let the woman know he was interested? Or was I in fact too much for him?

Or on the otherhand is he waiting for contact me? I haven't so he thinks I am not interested and now looking on dating sites again?? I always thought that if a guy was interested he would give chase and let the woman know he was interested? Or was I in fact too much for him?

In today's world the woman chases just as much as the man. If you're waiting for a man to chase you, you may be waiting for a very long time.

Who was the last one to make contact? Was it the text where he told you he got home okay? Did you text him after that? If not, he probably does think you're not interested, since you didn't reply to his text.

You can contact him and ask how he is. That opens the door again. He will either respond or he won't. If he doesn't you have your answer

He asked me to let him know I got home safe.

I did and told him I had had a lovely night, ( but I knew I would anyway as we felt we had known each other for ages), and that I hope he enjoyed my company as I did his?

He replied an hour later and said "Hi Jean glad you got home safe, lovely night and company, nite nite xxx".

But nothing else and then no contact for 3days.

However my friend contacted me tonight to say that funnily enough he has contacted her on the dating site and got talking without her knowing he had just been out with me and told her that he had had 2 dates off the site and both were bad experiences but ages ago?

He obviously means me to be one of those dates. I feel so angry and so want to contact him to ask why he has not been in touch as I fekt he liked me. We went to see the bands and I had a dance as he told me to??

What is your advice what I should do?

How about a text:

"Haven't heard from you. Hope all is okay."