Knew this bloke for around four years. We also went to same middle school but we didn't know each other, althogh he used to say he remembered me.

We became closer a couple of years ago, then spoke quite a bit when I went to uni, which is about 200 miles away from home and him. A month after I came to uni, he created a Youtube video telling me he liked me and why, but I didn't return the feelings because I had see how badly things had ended with the previous girlfriend (I later found out she'd been flirting with other guys and was quite demanding/obsessive).

Long story short I grew feelings for him a few months later and tell him. He says he never stopped having feelings for me and we talk about how things will be when I come home over summer. We also officially become boyfriend and girlfriend.

So summer is perfect. We connect on so many levels, he always writes me long speeches about how happy he is with me, how great I am compared to his past girlfriends, how he sees a future with me and can be the rock for us while I'm away at uni, etc. He even wrote this all on a blog. He's also the first to use the 'L' word. For once I feel I can trust the guy I'm with, he never made me doubt it.

When I returned to uni things were good. He sent me flowers, we sent each other really meaningful presents and letters, we'd skype, etc. One night he gets my drunk friend talking to him on the phone giving him the drunk friend speech and he basically says he'll never hurt me, or cheat on me, he knows how it feels as he was cheated on by a couple of exes.

Month later he goes on hol with some of his girl mates and a guy (was planned before we even started going out), I was fine with it. Text me on the first night saying he loved and missed me, and was speaking to one of the girls about how great I am for him (he used to bore a lot of our friends doing this).

When he returns from his hol he breaks up with me in tears and vows it's because of the distance. He avoids me and then starts going out with the girl he was talking about me with two weeks later. We meet and he vows he never cheated on me, which I believe because he knows the pain of it.

Couple of weeks later I Google the blog he used to have about me. He's deleted all the loving posts about me and replaced them with one, long rant about me, how I shouldn't be playing the sympathy card, what did I expect him to do while I was gallivanting at uni, etc. I also find out he DID cheat on me with her and he returns my belongings to me... broken.

I also find out he thought he was happy with me but wasn't, but is with the girl he cheated on me with (I think they're still together), he no longer considers what we had as a relationship and wants nothing to do with me as that part of his life is dead and gone. All of his friends say he's guilty, but I haven't heard a word from him since I told him I knew he had cheated, in which his response was "Okay, no need to text me anymore then".

He broke up with me four months ago. I got rid of everything but I can't seem to shake the sad feeling. I know I don't want to be with him, yet I still miss him. I hate knowing he's happy, that he could hurt the girl he supposedly loved to such an extent and then completely her over. I also hate still caring about him, worrying if he's drinking, smoking, etc. He used to get ridiculously worried about me. Last night I was in a horrible situation and I just thought about how he (old him) would have reacted to it. I wish I could still tell him things but instead I have to forget him, like he's doing with me. It hurts to know I attracted someone so poisonous. HOW DO I MOVE ON?

You probably have moved further than you think in the last 4 months, so don't let those old feelings that resurface throw you off. Its normal to have them and you probably always will but over time (more time), the sting will diminish and the effects will fade faster as you put your life back together, and are more occupied by other things, people, and new memories, and experiences.

We never completely forget our past experiences, good or bad, nor the feelings associated with them. Heck you thing even at my age I would have forgotten my first bad date, or first love or the one that got away? Sometimes you cry, sometimes you laugh at those old memories, and some times you are sad.

Anything can trigger those old feelings popping back up, songs, smells, colors, people, places, and things, anything, but in time what's important now grabs our attention. Just remember memories like a deck of cards can be shuffled, and reshuffled but you still have to play the hand your dealt. Don't dwell on the last hand because the next one is already in front of you.

You never say good bye to any card, as even the ones at the bottom of the deck make there way to the top.

I know, rather a long story to say look forward, and not back, but moving on is a slow process, and a lot of baby steps.

I have never forgotten any girlfriends I ever had, or even short experiences. At 71 yrs old, and a widower, I know I will never forget. But, you can move on, take it a step at a time, and meeting new people will help. Be honest, and respectful, with anyone you meet, and things will get better with some more time. I do wish you the best.

Yes, I remember and you will always remember, the issue is how you allow it to effect you.
First this was long distance and most never work, for just this reason. But you just go out, have fun and life will take care of itself

Thank you for the advice.

I think we were so sure of it because we had been "friends" beforehand and were in the same circle of friends. Whenever I went home, he'd be there.

I feel like I need some sort of closure, something to say, "Now you can accept what's happened". I thought I had that after meeting up with him, but then found out about the cheating a couple of weeks later. I got nothing from that... no apology, explanation, nothing. It's like he didn't give any sort of crap.

What hurts the most is how happy he can now be with his girlfriend, even though the whole relationship was based on lies, while I'm here a couple of hundred miles away remembering the truth, being forgotten about in that circle of "friends".

I'm only 21, I should not need to be this emotional while at uni! Lol

What makes you so special that you cannot be so emotional after a failed relationship. We all go through this emotional upheaval after a break up and the cheating just adds to it. This is where friends and family and some fun activies count so much as a way to help you through this difficult time. A support system.

Few of us can deal with the pain alone. So get some friends to help you.