Telula
Feb 8, 2013, 12:41 PM
Found out that my ex is going to have a baby. I’m still not sure how to feel, I know that I shouldn't feel like I care, but part of me has questions. Maybe just telling/writing this out will help me answer my own questions. I've realized I never mattered at all to the ex, and now I know love is truly blind, why wouldn't I believe he loved me especially when he told me that he wanted to marry me. I loved my ex to bunches, but apparently the feeling wasn't reciprocated. Here is a background story:
My ex and I had a baby, but while I was pregnant he breaks up with me. Come to find out he wanted to be with someone else, which he ended up marrying. Anyways, while I was pregnant he kept telling me that his girlfriend did not want to be with someone who has a kid, so he tells me to have an abortion, I tell him ‘NO’, then he tells me to give the baby up for adoption, I still said ‘NO’.
Later I have my son, and the ex wants to be part of his life, so we go to court, setup custody and child support. The ex tells me that he will be part of his life, and he will never move away from my son. He lied, he and his girlfriend decide to move to another state (Massachusetts) way across the country (my son and I living in Seattle). So we end up doing the long distance custody thing, web-cam, etc. The ex asks me if he can take my son to spend time with him on his non-schedule time for a week. I tell him sure, but he doesn't tell me why. It was because he was getting married and he wanted my son to be out there. He could not tell me that he was getting married, probably of the fear that I would say no. After that one week my son was out there, the ex emails me that he loves spending time with my son (doesn't mention that he loves him), but thinks that it is best that he just stays with me. Then the ex ends up giving me full custody and becomes a donor.
Why go through the trouble of having my son out there for his wedding to just give him up? I wonder if this was his decision or was it his wife’s influence. Was she jealous that my son was taking attention away from her? How can his wife want to be with someone who can easily give up on a child (his flesh and blood) that he supposedly loved? Oh that’s right, he never loved him. They (donor and his wife) deserve each other. Maybe by having a baby will diminish the guilty feeling of leaving my son. Donor is a big boy, he’ll have to live with his consequential choices. Thanks for letting me vent, wonder and question.
My ex and I had a baby, but while I was pregnant he breaks up with me. Come to find out he wanted to be with someone else, which he ended up marrying. Anyways, while I was pregnant he kept telling me that his girlfriend did not want to be with someone who has a kid, so he tells me to have an abortion, I tell him ‘NO’, then he tells me to give the baby up for adoption, I still said ‘NO’.
Later I have my son, and the ex wants to be part of his life, so we go to court, setup custody and child support. The ex tells me that he will be part of his life, and he will never move away from my son. He lied, he and his girlfriend decide to move to another state (Massachusetts) way across the country (my son and I living in Seattle). So we end up doing the long distance custody thing, web-cam, etc. The ex asks me if he can take my son to spend time with him on his non-schedule time for a week. I tell him sure, but he doesn't tell me why. It was because he was getting married and he wanted my son to be out there. He could not tell me that he was getting married, probably of the fear that I would say no. After that one week my son was out there, the ex emails me that he loves spending time with my son (doesn't mention that he loves him), but thinks that it is best that he just stays with me. Then the ex ends up giving me full custody and becomes a donor.
Why go through the trouble of having my son out there for his wedding to just give him up? I wonder if this was his decision or was it his wife’s influence. Was she jealous that my son was taking attention away from her? How can his wife want to be with someone who can easily give up on a child (his flesh and blood) that he supposedly loved? Oh that’s right, he never loved him. They (donor and his wife) deserve each other. Maybe by having a baby will diminish the guilty feeling of leaving my son. Donor is a big boy, he’ll have to live with his consequential choices. Thanks for letting me vent, wonder and question.