View Full Version : Want a baby really bad!
Kikijuju123
Feb 7, 2013, 04:00 PM
So I'm 14, and I'm obsessed with babies. I really want to have a baby like so bad. It has gotten to the point where I have bought baby clothes for the baby and would do anything for a baby, I sometimes don't even care who the baby daddy is. My friends want to be the godparents and I said that's fine. So pretty much my question is what do I do? I mean I know it's a crazy idea but I really want one. So should I go on with the idea or what should I do?
tickle
Feb 7, 2013, 04:25 PM
Do you have a job so you can support yourself and the baby? Who is going to pay your hospital bills and doctor visits while you are pregnant? Are you going to give up school? Whoever is the father of your baby will be charged because you are underage.
If you don't know how to go about, you need some sex education.
odinn7
Feb 7, 2013, 04:48 PM
Are you crazy? Having a baby isn't like buying a pet hamster. There is all kinds of responsibility and money involved in this.
Oh, it's so cute... you buy clothes... your friends can be the godparents! Giggle giggle... This is real life you know. Who is going to take care of this baby once you realize that you're not ready for it and your baby daddy is gone or in jail?
Wake up. There is plenty of time for a baby when you're ready.
MikeBear
Feb 7, 2013, 05:00 PM
Wake up, and smell the roses. This is not all roses!
Another answer said how are you going to support a baby, and so forth. At 14, I would find something else to occupy my mind, such as making it good in school so I can afford to have a good job some day. Right now, your parents or someone would have to care for a baby. You certainly can't.
Comeandgetme12
Feb 7, 2013, 06:26 PM
That is dumb, you will not be going to prom, homecoming, college and perhaps not even finishing high school. Plus, you obviously aren't fit to be a good parent, you don't even care if the baby has a good father or a bad one, you also cannot get a real job at 14 to buy it nice things like very child deserves from their parents, your mommy and daddy will have to try to pay for it witch will be hard. So you basically don't care about the babies well being, you just want one because you like them. You too young to realize its not all about you.
dontknownuthin
Feb 7, 2013, 06:49 PM
If you want a baby badly, you need to find a way to enjoy being around babies without taking full responsibility for one. If you get pregnant now, you will end up getting the father sent to jail and then the baby will be placed for adoption. Or you'll come to your senses and realize that you are no way able to care for a baby and with the shock of reality setting in, will have an abortion. You may think you're going to have a cute baby with cute little shoes and push it around in a stroller and your friends will be the godparents and it will be so adorable. Yeah, right.
Babies are adorable but that's not all they are and you're a total idiot if you disregard all the other things that they are. For one thing, they are needy. I just looked up some basic costs for a baby. A pack of diapers is over $15 - that will last you a few days. Where are you going to get about $50 a week for diapers? Formula can be like $30 a can. You may plan to breastfeed but particularly given how old you are, you probably won't produce enough milk. So you'd be needing cans of the stuff by the case. I looked at a website that estimates the costs of parenting - first year of a baby's life, count on spending $10,000. Where the heck are you going to get $10,000 at 14?
If your parents want a baby, they will have another baby. You have absolutely no right to make that decision for them by forcing them to feel obligated to raise a grandchild.
If you have a baby, you will be deciding to start a child's life out tragically. You'll also be deciding to live without your first child in your life because frankly, you can't do the job. You might think you'll handle the whole thing. Lots of girls do. Then the state takes the kids because they are neglected. Your child might go to foster care or get adopted - who knows.
This is an absolutely irresponsible, selfish, selfish, selfish, selfish thing to do. I can't say selfish enough. It's wrong for the baby, wrong for your parents, wrong for everyone. And this random father you don't even care about? Great - so you've already decided your children shouldn't get to have a dad. Nice.
I wish you were in reach so I could slap you upside the head and drag you to counseling. This idea is so stupid I can't believe it.
Alty
Feb 7, 2013, 06:56 PM
At 14 there's no way you can support a baby, if you and the baby survive the pregnancy and delivery, which isn't a guarantee at your age.
So who's going to pay for this baby, the taxpayers, the people that are actually responsible, work, and take care of their families? Is that fair? Or are mommy and daddy going to raise your child?
If you're in the US the delivery alone will cost you around $12,000, if nothing goes wrong. So, where are you getting that money?
Do you have a job? Of course you don't, you can't, you're only 14. So how will you afford a place to live, food, diapers, a crib, clothes, formula, medical bills, stroller, high chair, bottles, baby food, etc. etc. etc?
Yes, it's a stupid idea. Just because you want something, doesn't mean you should have it. The first part about being a parent is thinking about more than what you want. When you're a parent, your child comes first. So, who are you thinking about? Not a baby, only about you. You want, who cares about anything else. It's all about you. That says it all. You're not ready to be a parent. A parent thinks about her wants last, not first.
aliseaodo
Feb 8, 2013, 11:49 AM
I have an idea - volunteer at a child care center for a week, make sure they put you in with the toddlers and infants. Come back and let us know if you think you still want a baby.
talaniman
Feb 8, 2013, 09:37 PM
Talk to an adult female about your crazy idea, preferably your mom.Tell her you even brought clothes for a baby. Maybe she can help you get through this or get you the right help to get through this.
Kikijuju123, I understand your want for a baby. At your age it's all about the hormones. I remember being 14 too!
However, I am no longer 14, I am close to 50. Guess what I do for a living. I get paid to deliver babies.
Let me fill you in on some of the issues with girls who get pregnant at your age:
1) Gestational Diabetes. Do you know what diabetes is? It's when your body can't control it's sugar levels. Now, gestational diabetes may end up being permanent, or it may go away after the baby is born. Most likely you will have to prick your finger several times a day to test your blood. If your blood sugar is too high you will either have to take a pill several times a day OR you will have to give yourself a shot in the stomach several times a day.
2. Pregnancy Induced Hypertension. That means that your body cannot control it's blood pressure. This puts girls your age at risk for seizure disorder. Most of the time that goes away after you deliver the baby, but you will have to have a C-Section to get the baby out. Do you know what a C-Section is?
3. Premature labor. Girls your age generally are not able to carry their babies to full term. Why you ask? Because your body is not done growing itself and it doesn't know how to grow you AND a baby. Your not done growing yet. Not all of your bones and muscles are formed well enough to carry a baby long enough for it to be healthy when it is born.
4. Maternal and/or fetal death. Again this comes back to you being too young to carry a baby to term. I have had to tell parents that their 15 year old daughter died in labor. I have had to tell 14 year old mothers that their babies have died. Other babies live in Neonatal Intensive Care Units (NICU) for months and months before they are ready to go home. The last one I had lived in the hospital for the first 6 months of his life. Most of these babies come home with defects such as mental retardation or cerebal palsy, just to name two.
Now, are you prepared to take care of a mentally or physically handicapped baby? Can you afford the bills that come with a healthy baby? Can you afford the bills that come with a sick baby?
I am not giving you personal advice, but professional information.
Babies don't love you unconditionally. Babies don't know how to love. They are selfish to the core. They rely on you for everything and if you aren't up to task they can become very sick or die.
You may want to re-think this.