I was not snooping I want to make that clear. I was trying to download Real Downloader and in trying to find it on my computer, in the recent documents part of the menu on my boyfriends computer, which he happily shares with me and claims to have nothing to hide from me on here. The recent documents folder is not exactly private, I've never before searched for anything because I honestly thought that when he said he doesn't save porn he meant it.

It really doesn't bother me, the idea that he looks at porn, I know that it's normal and I look at it on my own occasion here and there. I'm cool with it. It's just that he told me he doesn't save porn and he lied.

AND another thing... it not only hurts and worries me that he lied, but also that throughout these some several hundred saved photos of naked women, some seem to be young girls as young as what appears to be pre pubescent, like around 7 or 9.

All this with a baby girl on the way. It scares me, and I don't know IF I should confront it, HOW I should confront it. Do I come at him defensively over my little girl, or should I bring it up more casually? I'm at a total and complete loss here. WHAT SHOULD I DO!!

Uh oh - he could be arrested. You have more than one thing to worry about. You need to address this with him.

Why confront when you can ask casually and calmly and tell him how some of it was disturbing and tell him why. Emphasize it's the lying about it that's the most hurtful but give him room to reply without the drama.

As you say he didn't try to stop your access, or hide it, but you just ran across it. The approach is what counts and pay attenion to his reaction.

The sooner the better I think.

The child porn is what is the most worrisome thing here. That is something that is wrong on so many different levels. People go to jail because they posse this stuff.

Him having porn, you should expect. He was probably saying that he doesn't have any because he thought you would take it badly that he did. It is actually a really common lie for men to tell their girlfriends/wives. Truth be told you can't really get angry at him for having it or hiding it because you partake as well.

But I would definitely talk to him about the child porn. Being a guy well versed in the internets I know it isn't hard to come by models that are questionable when it comes to their age, falling in the 'Barely Legal' category. This stuff you have to search out to find. You can run into a 16-17 year old on many unregulated porn sites but to get something where you're sure the girls is pubescent or prepubescent takes a concerted effort to find.

Figure out what is happening and get him to stop it. If not... this is on my unforgivable sins list so I would break up with him.

I'm concerned because even in the way you present this question, you are already making excuses for him to an extent and minimizing the fact that your boyfriend is in possession of child pornography. Child pornography. When in your life did this become even acceptable enough for you to consider this as something you would consider working through with a man? You start with this very typical question about finding out your boyfriend likes porn - several paragraphs later, we find out the photos are of children and he's committing a felony in your home.

If you were being set up on a date by a friend, and they said to you, "he's a great guy - sweet and fun and he'll be good to you. The only thing is, he likes to look at naked pictures of children." I think you'd run as fast as you could.

Now the question is, "he's a great guy - sweet and fun and he'll be good to you. The only thing is, he likes to look at naked pictures of little girls. Do you want to have a baby daughter with him?"

Any answer other than "hell no" makes you complicit in his criminal behavior. If you bring your new baby daughter into a home with him, you are guilty of child endangerment. Is that how you want to start being a mother - by bringing your daughter home to a dad who's into little girls sexually?

To me, there would not even be a question to ask. I would immediately move out - or throw him out. I would report him to the authorities, because it would be necessary to prevent him from legally having unsupervised time with your expected daughter. The relationship would be over, period. I would start making a plan to raise my child on my own. I would not be interested in explanations - there is no explanation for child pornography on his computer, period.

A thought that occurs to me... he might have lied to you about saving the porn because he looks at children. Normal porn is a personal topic that the two of you could discuss, if you feel like it needs to be. But, if it really is child pornography and you have to use your judgement when determining that, I think that is not only truly disgusting but is undeniably wrong, morally and legally. I know I certainly wouldn't want to have a little girl with a man who is going to be turned on by her friends when they come over for a playdate. If he views and masturbates to sexually explicit images of children, then I don't think there's anything to discuss. You should just leave and maybe even report him and/or the source of the material.

I'm sorry, this has just hit me like a brick wall, I'm not even sure I've been able to fully process it it's so new and shocking. I've been crying and wracking my brain uncontrollably. I will always put the safety of my child first though, I can say that for sure. Again, still processing... still dumbfounded...

The upset is entirely understandable. Racking your brain is not - he's looking at pictures of little girls for sexual gratification. He saved them to the computer. Whatever he says or explains does not make it anything different from what you already know it to be.

If you let him explain this away, you will hear what you want to, and will find yourself accepting the unacceptable.

Don't get worked up without true facts and that's why you talk because speculation does no good but to cloud your judgment. We cannot judge what you saw or why, only you can so don't get carried away by shock or emotion, or fear before he has had his chance.

I understand your feelings given you have a child on the way. But be calm of mind when you broach this subject.

Thank you, this is all helpful


Don't get worked up without true facts and thats why you talk because speculation does no good but to cloud your judgment. We cannot judge what you saw or why, only you can so don't get carried away by shock or emotion, or fear before he has had his chance.

I understand your feelings given you have a child on the way. But be calm of mind when you broach this subject.

Without having seen the pictures, (no I don't want to see them) just wanting to make sure what you saw really was what you appeared to see.

Sometimes things are not what they first appear to be... and making the wrong assumption can be a mistake...

There are many genres out there... there ar the skinny petite women with small boobs.. which might be the case. Since its overwelmingly common to fully shave these days... particularly with the under 40 crowd... a skinny small breasted 18 or 19 year old with their hair done up just the right way at fist glance might appear to be much younger at a casual glance... but usually if you look at certain features like hands, neck or feet they give then away as older once you look closer.

However if they really are kids... meaning nimors that young.. then it would be very disturbing. But the fact he wasn't really hiding it tells me they might not appear to be what you think.

I'm not making any excuses if they really are that young... just that you really don't want to wrongfully accuse someone of that.

You actually can accidentally stumble upon that stuff... but you usually have to be in certain circles because the authorities are always looking for people distributing or sharing that stuff... but I have seen legitimate stuff that at first glance looked years younger than they really were when you looked closer at their other features.

Now only you can do that... and determine that... only a 8 year olds going to look like an 8 year old... but sometimes lesser developed women in their early to mid twenties can casually pass as early teens... (andprobibly even more 16 year olds could pass as someone in their late 20's.

Don't think its ever happened... here is a famous account... research Traci Lords... she had a fake ID and started working at 14... she was already out of the business and into her 30's when she broke that news.. almost the first half of her career was stuff that had to be pulled from the shelves and destroyed. who knows how many in all.

Just saying... take another look... if you have no doubt they really are kids after a second look... call the authorities. I have no lost love for pedophiles... but if they all turn out to be legal age... you've opened up a real can of worms...

Good advice except it's a real stretch to say an 18 year old would look like an 8 or 9 year old.

And I'd be concerned even if it's an of-age person but photographed and presented to look like a child... still appealing to the child porn market.

I wouldn't be interested in the explanation - I'd be busy packing.

Anyone who has ever done any porn surfing before has come across a few questionable photos or videos. As stated before it is not uncommon, especially, in the teen areas, to see a photo that makes you think twice for being there. I personally know a girl that is 22 years old that literally looks younger than my niece (who is 12). She is so physically small and petite that she has no "curves" and I bet a look at her naked would make me feel like a pedophile (if I didn't know her).

What's also very interesting is what 'dontknownuthin' said, say these photos are of "legal" teens, they're clearly made to look much younger than they are. As stated, this is appealing to the child porn market.

It's a very difficult situation. There's no doubt about that and I wish you luck in your endeavor for the truth.

Keep us posted.

I can see him encountering some illegally posted photos - he downloaded and saved these photos. She found them later, saved to the computer.

The question is whether he thinks they're minors (whether they are or not is superfluous). If he thinks they ar (even if they aren't) there's an issue there that the police would love to take care of.

Good advice except it's a real stretch to say an 18 year old would look like an 8 or 9 year old.

And I'd be concerned even if it's an of-age person but photographed and presented to look like a child .... still appealing to the child porn market.

I wouldn't be interested in the explanation - I'd be busy packing.

8 or 9 I agree, on average.(except that what is common at 8 or 9 for development today is what was normal at 13 or 14 just 40 years ago)... but there are at least five actresses that are in their mid to late 20's that could pass for girls in their first or second year of puberty... I can't remember enough of the key words to find the name of the disorder. I'm sure ALL of the women reading this have known girls growing up that just never developed or were very late starting... and the torment the other girls put them through... keep in mind few of them preferred to be like that... most if not all wanted all the curves and boobs of the luckier girls... Besides... a few of them have some of the tell tale signs of having had at least one child already... (not to mention c-section scars at least several years old in some cases)

And lets not kid ourselves... how many people in porn do you think REALLY had better options available to them? Beyond the couple I can think of who claimed they did but actually had the sheepskin to back it up?

Like I said.. the real pedophiles need locked up for life... but a lot of harm can be done just like the women that claim rape when they weren't because they got jilted... Lot of harm can be done casually tossing stuff around like that. Even if they get acquitted because no violation of law was found... the very fact they were accused is a suspicion that can follow someone for life.

Now look at this from a different perspective... why should a woman in her 20's not be able to date someone her own age or even a bit older just because she looks much younger than her real age? Why should she be shunned by men her own age? There are far far more who DON'T star in porn that fit that description than do. I've known a few over the years... (nope... just as friends.. I didn't date them).

I didn't meet my wife until she was in her mid/late 20's... but from photos I've seen at 20 she looked 14 or 15... even now at almost 50 she will pass as mid 30's even at the beach... and look better than many 20 something year olds.

But then... I also pass easily for more than 10 years younger than I am... to people who ARE 10 years younger than I am.

Would I fit that definition? Actually... most of the women I dated were older than me... she was one of the few younger than me that got my attention intellectually. And she's only 3 years younger.

I'm not ready to buy a guy having kiddie porn on his computer that his wife can easily find.

I'm not ready to buy a guy having kiddie porn on his computer that his wife can easily find.

Exactly... people into that would know full well the legal ramnifications and would not be that casual about it.

Exactly...people into that would know full well the legal ramnifications and would not be that casual about it.

She also needs to be very careful in dealing with the information she has.Viewing kiddie porn is illegal. She has viewed it and not reported it. Not reporting it could also come under fire.

She also needs to be very careful in dealing with the information she has.Viewing kiddie porn is illegal. She has viewed it and not reported it. Not reporting it could also come under fire.

Yep.. the proverbial can of worms... like I was saying... how many guys have old VHS tapes they bought years ago... how many of them might have any of the multitude of early Traci Lords stuff? How many of them know they are illegal since she admitted many years later she used a false ID the first 4 years she was in the business before she turned 18.

Nobody even guessed she wasn't legal at the time... many are still not aware of it... how many tapes are still in existence from people that bought them legally at the time (when everyone believed her ID was valid)... that technically could be charged with possession of kiddie porn now 20+ years later.

She also needs to be very careful in dealing with the information she has.Viewing kiddie porn is illegal. She has viewed it and not reported it. Not reporting it could also come under fire.

Yes, however, this puts her in an awkward position. This is the person she cares about. She doesn't want to see something bad happen to him, not to mention, she doesn't know for sure the age of these girls. I mean that's a pretty serious accusation without KNOWING the facts.

Her best bet is to be honest with him.

Explain that you happened to stumble across the porn and that it isn't the porn you are concerned with, it is the type of porn.

As others stated, these girls could be older than what they appear to be.

All of this rests on the ability of the OP to determine whether these are children or women that just look like children. The majority of the time, I would say most people can tell the difference between a pre-pubescent child and a teenager. I would believe that an 18-19 year old might look 14, 13, 12, but not 8. And if she can't tell and he says it's not (which he will say whether he's innocent or guilty), what does she do? I personally would be concerned by my partner masturbating to women that look like they could be small children, regardless of whether they actually are. There is porn designed to appeal to pedophiles (as mentioned earlier by dontknownuthin) where the women are made to look like children. If you're partner is turned on by that, shouldn't that be worrisome?

What about the skinny runway models who look like kids, to me any way. Some being 40? This isn't something to assume and take actions over. This is where getting facts through communicating is needed.

Many models are very young. Some of the biggest names started when they were 14, 16, etc. While I might mistake a 40 year old model for being in her 30's or even 20's, I can't think of any that I would mistake for being children under 10. And my point about the communication is that whether he's innocent or guilty, he will say the same thing - that they are not children. Maybe he'll be able to summon up proof that these images are of women not girls, but if she determines it's impossible to tell what they are, she'll have to consider the situation differently.

You know, this whole situation is a great example of why the age for adult performers ought to be bumped up to 21.

Exactly...people into that would know full well the legal ramnifications and would not be that casual about it.

It happens all the time. People regularly get busted for having porn, including child porn, on their computers and typically it's on the home computer. I've even read of school administrators and people like that having this stuff on their computers at work. I've known of several situations in the workplace where people were fired for having various types of porn on their work computers, even knowing that there were policies in place and that their computer was not private. Some people are compulsive with porn use and they do ultimately get caught because the compulsion is more important to them than anything else.

The point I believe is being made by Talaniman and I have been pointing out is some people are better at judging ages at a casual glance than others are. Meaning some people are really bad at it... and people who want to see something that isn't there is going to see what they want to see.

Your eyes can be deceived by your own brain... Hollywood relys on how easy it is with every single movie they make... or TV show they produce.

But does the OP really want to see this? If anything, she seems to be wanting just the opposite and was relieved when it was suggested that they may only look like children, not actually be children. Her bias should be operating the other way because she has a lot to lose if she wrongly accuses him.

It happens all the time. People regularly get busted for having porn, including child porn, on their computers and typically it's on the home computer. I've even read of school administrators and people like that having this stuff on their computers at work. I've known of several situations in the workplace where people were fired for having various types of porn on their work computers, even knowing that there were policies in place and that their computer was not private. Some people are compulsive with porn use and they do ultimately get caught because the compulsion is more important to them than anything else.

I disagree that pedophiles leave it open for everyone to see without any access controls.

Just because authorities found something on a machine... doesn't mean it didn't take them two months of work to break the encryption on it first to find it.

Or that the person that had it even knew it was illegal. After all what's the difference between a nude 17 and 18 year old a month or so apart in age? Besides time in jail? Many 17 year olds have already graduated while some 18 year olds are still in high school. I was already well into my first year of College before I turned 18.

I've personally known 20something year old women that looked far younger than some 15 year olds I've known. I've even oogled over two very well developed and shapely neighbors out sunbathing in their bikinis... everyone that visited me thought they were sisters... come to find out later that the one was 15 and the other was her mother... when I got invited to her birthday party by her parents... the day she turned 16... a year after I moved in there.

I was the only person invited... and they were wealthy and well connected... not looking for a free ride (they tried to set me up with her).. Nope, it wasn't the one I married.

And there was nothing worong with that in that culture... (Europe not a third world country).

Most of what passes for news today is nothing different than you would read in the National Enquirer... or any of those types of periodicals.

You do remember it was them that were attacked for slurs against John Edwards... long before it actually came out that it was true.

Knowing a few things about computer forensics and other things like data recovery helps too.

You could literally buy a refurbished computer that was formated and a fresh operating system on it... and have kiddie porn recovered from the hard drive from a previous owner that you didn't even see on the drive... yes its possible... very, very possible.

Files are not really deleted when you delete them... they in many cases can even be recovered after a drive is wiped and reformatted and a new OS installed.

Scarey isn't it... but its also true.

There is also something called stegonography

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steganography yeah... its never so simple and cut and dry as you wish it was.

Again - all a real stretch. She found kiddie porn on her boyfriend's computer of girls she estimates to be 8 to 9 years old. She can do as some suggest here and pretend they are young looking older teens of legal age, and pretend that it's not a problem. And she can bring her baby daughter into the relationship and into the home with someone she suspect to be involved in a felony involving the sexual exploitation of children. Personally, I think excuses can be made for anything but this is what you call a smoking gun. I wonder what thinking is behind giving someone the benefit of the doubt when the potential abuse and exploitation of children is involved. To protect herself legally, since she also lives in the home and also has use of the computer, she needs to report this herself. To protect her child from a potential threat, she needs to stop living with this person. If he's innocent and the children are shown to be 18 or 19, there will be no criminal consequences for him. There's still the question why he's attracted to girls who look like children. And there's still the question of why he's lying about his use of porn. And there's still the question of why, if it's his computer and she came across this information so easily, he didn't find it and delete it before, given that it's his computer. And there's still the question of why, if he accidentally came across these pictures, that they are downloaded and saved to the hard drive. Let her protect herself and her soon to be daughter as a first priority. She can certainly tell him she came across the information and give him a chance to delete it all if she doesn't want to get him in trouble. Then again she remains at legal risk if she doesn't report it because, as you've pointed out, what's deleted isn't really gone. And when the person creating and distributing these photos is inevitably caught, it will be determined who downloaded them as well. Remain in a home where a felony is being committed and you are asking to be implicated in the whole mess.

Again - all a real stretch. She found kiddie porn on her boyfriend's computer of girls she estimates to be 8 to 9 years old. She can do as some suggest here and pretend they are young looking older teens of legal age, and pretend that it's not a problem. And she can bring her baby daughter into the relationship and into the home with someone she suspect to be involved in a felony involving the sexual exploitation of children. Personally, I think excuses can be made for anything but this is what you call a smoking gun. I wonder what thinking is behind giving someone the benefit of the doubt when the potential abuse and exploitation of children is involved. To protect herself legally, since she also lives in the home and also has use of the computer, she needs to report this herself. To protect her child from a potential threat, she needs to stop living with this person. If he's innocent and the children are shown to be 18 or 19, there will be no criminal consequences for him. There's still the question why he's attracted to girls who look like children. And there's still the question of why he's lying about his use of porn. And there's still the question of why, if it's his computer and she came across this information so easily, he didn't find it and delete it before, given that it's his computer. And there's still the question of why, if he accidentally came across these pictures, that they are downloaded and saved to the hard drive. Let her protect herself and her soon to be daughter as a first priority. She can certainly tell him she came across the information and give him a chance to delete it all if she doesn't want to get him in trouble. Then again she remains at legal risk if she doesn't report it because, as you've pointed out, what's deleted isn't really gone. And when the person creating and distributing these photos is inevitably caught, it will be determined who downloaded them as well. Remain in a home where a felony is being committed and you are asking to be implicated in the whole mess.

First off... if he watches porn or not is his business alone and nobody has any right at all to say otherwise... he's an adult... not a child and she's not his mommy... or his superiour.

If she reports him and it causes him any trouble and it turns out it really WASN'T kiddie porn... I hope he makes her life a living hell... because you know what they say about payback... because it would have been an open attempt to destroy his reputation and life... and that opens her up it all sorts of action... civil and criminal if she's wrong.

You know that thing about actions having consequences.

Personally I see some people jumping to conclusions that would be screaming the loudest if such accusations were ever as casually made at them.

Personally I think THOSE people have control issues and they themselves think no man should ever cast his eyes on another female, because they don't think they should ever face their own problems.

Might be a stretch in your mind... but I've been working in the field for enough of the last 30 years... I know exactly what can happen, what has happened... what can be hidden how its hidden and what processes can be used to recover data... as well as how you can make sure nobody can ever recover it... ever.

Incidentally I have the capacity to recover data from machines that have been reformatted at home... and federal agencies have capabilities that are a quantum leap beyond that.

And there have been cases in just the last year or two where people have purchased supposedly NEW computers that have had porn of various types on them...

And that's not speaking machines that are clearly used when acquired... or refurbished...

And that's if their machine isn't affected my malware when someone remotely accesses their machine and stores it there for various reasons... all keeping it essentially untraceable back to the person doing it... and that's not at all a stretch because there are millions of machines worldwide that various aspects of that type of thing are happening to every day... most of their owners are completely oblivious its happening... because most people don't go pouring through every file and directory on their machine frequently. And a lot of people have no software to prevent such malware... or detect it.

But then... hes a only a man... he's not entitled to any benefit of the doubt or , being assumed innocent until proven guilty because whatever SHE decides to think at any time is all that matters... I mean he's not entitled to any rights at all is he...

And Incidentally... if some woman falsely accused me of such a thing and she was pregnant with my baby... I would throw her out and spend the next 18 or 19 year fighting to get FULL custody of the child... because I couldn't trust her to turn my back on her or leave her with any of my property. She wouldn't get a first warning... she would be gone the first time it happened... there are some things I could not tolerate... first is cheating.. the second is being stabbed in the back.

Not to mention.....making false accusations against someone can result in both civil and criminal penalties. So you better be damned sure BEFORE you make them.

it not only hurts and worries me that he lied, but also that throughout these some several hundred saved photos of naked women, some seem to be young girls as young as what appears to be pre pubescent, like around 7 or 9.

Get the facts before you act, just in case the mistake is YOURS. If she isn't certain, then how can we be? I hope the OP comes back with facts.

She's not going to be charged with any criminal charges for advising the authorities that there appear to be photos which are child pornography on the computer. If they prove not to be children, nothing more will come of it. It is not frivolous if she reasonably believes them to be children. If he can demonstrate that they were not downloaded while he has been in possession of the computer, again, nothing will come of it.

She's not going to be charged with any criminal charges for advising the authorities that there appear to be photos which are child pornography on the computer. If they prove not to be children, nothing more will come of it. It is not frivolous if she reasonably believes them to be children. If he can demonstrate that they were not downloaded while he has been in possession of the computer, again, nothing will come of it.

What's the all fired hurry to rush into such an extreme reaction? If they prove not to be as she assumes she has put her whole family and future at risk, and for what a misunderstanding? Its easy to say nothing will come of it after the authorities are brought in, except if he is inocent such actions will likely destroy them as a new family. That's a rather harsh suggestion given we don't know what appears to be what.

Give them time to work it out and see what happens my GOSH! At least wait for the OP to hopefully return.

I agree with Tal.

OP hasn't been back with any updates. We should at least wait to see was has happened, if anything at all.

- And a few words about the pain caused by snooping. I note OP wasn't snooping, just went through (apparently) all the photos on the computer.

Has OP asked HIM what the photos are about? If under-age is his "thing" I'd rather ask and find out 100% than not know.

And, yes, fighting child pornography in NY now has its own task force. When the Police arrest one person they take that computer and find ALL the people who have shared the site - and then they get arrested, too.

It's a domino effect.

She's not going to be charged with any criminal charges for advising the authorities that there appear to be photos which are child pornography on the computer. If they prove not to be children, nothing more will come of it. It is not frivolous if she reasonably believes them to be children. If he can demonstrate that they were not downloaded while he has been in possession of the computer, again, nothing will come of it.

Lets see YOU try it and have it turn out otherwise... Those legal fess you would be facing wouldn't quite so imaginary then...

Better yet... lets have someone report YOU for child abuse... but then what harm is there in that anyway... after all if you aren't doing anything its not going to cause you any problems or expense now would it? And YOU would not be able to sue them or get them charged for making false accusations could you?

Why would it be any different if its turned around making YOU the victim of a false report... after all... nobody has proven he has broken any laws yet.

Funny how some women assume the guy is ALWAYS guilty until proven innocent... but if they get accused of smacking around their kids the same women will argue THEY are innocent until proven guilty... a bit of hypocrisy going on there.

Because they believe things are ALWAYS as they appear at first glance... unless of course they are at the receiving end of something that might look bad at first glance...


Whats the all fired hurry to rush into such an extreme reaction? If they prove not to be as she assumes she has put her whole family and future at risk, and for what a misunderstanding?? Its easy to say nothing will come of it after the authorities are brought in, except if he is inocent such actions will likely destroy them as a new family. Thats a rather harsh suggestion given we don't know what appears to be what.

Give them time to work it out and see what happens my GOSH! At least wait for the OP to hopefully return.

That's because unlike us, they can read tarot cards, tea leaves and chicken entrails... and unlike us... they have a working crystal ball.

Why the extreme? Because if she is correct and 8 or 9 year old girls are photographed naked, they need to be rescued from the abusive life they are living. You're all about protecting an adult man - I'm all about protecting little girls.

If is not a fact. We don't know do we? You see all porn as exploitive, therefore wrong. Is that why you throw caution to the wind and act on the worst case scenerio?

What gets me is that she said they look like "pre pubescent" girls, like 7-9 years old. Not young teens (of course looking at young teens is wrong and illegal too). It's quite hard for an 18 year old (or anyone) who's gone through puberty to look pre pubescent 7-9 years old! There's still a big difference in a young skinny teen that's flat chested and completely shaved, and a pre pubescent girl.

Also like other people have already said, if they are made to look 7-9 little girls, that is still very disturbing for her b/f to be attracted to that. And that's REALLY hard for an 18 year old to pull off! Pulling off to look 13-14, sure. Under 10, and haven't gone through puberty? I don't think so.

I hope the OP comes back to update us. After all these responses maybe she's taken a closer look at the pictures. Does she still think they are that young? If it were me and I was certain about it, I'd leave him immediately.

I see news of these arrests all the time. One was even a state delegate in nearby MD and he just recently got out of prison after a two or three year term in the state pen. I often wonder if the people arrested and jailed (don't remember ever seeing any news about anybody found not guilty but maybe some were) were victims of some crazy circumstances, and even if they were- what evidence could they come up with that would trump the police finding illegal pictures on their computer? From what I have read, they often find illegal pictures on computers while searching for evidence of other types of wrongdoing and even if they find nothing to supoprt their original case, they make the illegal porn charge.
I am under the impression that even if the computer is destroyed or suspicious material is deleted, it might be found on a server somewhere? I don't know- I'm asking.
Looking at possible options:
1. Ask him, and he admits he has a problem. Get rid of him.
He takes his computer with him but if he ever gets caught there might a record of "mjf" having looked at it too(?).
2. Same as 1 above but she reports it and hopes she doesn't get charged too.
One can go through all the possible options but there don't seem to be any that have a very predictable outcome. And if it is a misunderstanding or some kind of snafu, one life or more could be destroyed.
I don't like to constantly tell folks to go to lawyers because it can get expensive and/or complex fast, but if this were my daughter I would tell her to go see an attorney who defends clients in these types of cases before taking any other step.
If the recommendation is to notify authorities, have the attorney go with you when it is reported.
That's all I've got. This is about the biggest no-win predicament I have ever seen here. Or maybe, this isn't as unusual as it appears, and the experienced attorney knows a way to deal with it with the least damage to "mjf".

If you we're,to carry this computer to the police station and the images were what you say, he would be arrested. That is without question. Now some sites cater to young looking woman ( some you can swear are in early teens) and they are legit. It is hard to look nine. This is serious. Often when you look at porn it is an escalating practice as the thrill is decreased the more you look t it. A naked women, then a tied up naked woman, a tied up and abused etc etc.

Also with the Internet etc you become desensitized more quickly. Having said that, he may have it but not be a pedophile BUT the law makes no distinction. So you decide what to do... but it is a bad choice either way. Also if the Internet is in your name, those are your pictures.also deleting them will leave traces. Throw the computer out, or call the cops.

If you we're,to carry this computer to the police station and the images were what you say, he would be arrested. That is without question. Now some sites cater to young looking woman ( some you can swear are in early teens) and they are legit. It is hard to look nine. This is serious. Often when you look at porn it is an escalating practice as the thrill is decreased the more you look t it. A naked women, then a tied up naked woman, a tied up and abused etc etc.

Also with the Internet etc you become desensitized more quickly. Having said that, he may have it but not be a pedophile BUT the law makes no distinction. So you decide what to do....but it is a bad choice either way. Also if the Internet is in your name, those are your pictures.also deleting them will leave traces. Throw the computer out, or call the cops.
And if she does call the cops and NOTHING is illegal... I hope he goes after her will every legal recourse he as... and at the very least put her out. Because NO person who went behind my back like that would get to sleep under my rood one more night... because that is an incredible act of betrayal... because people who willingly commoit crimes rarely leave the evidence in plain sight... I.E. a car thief doesn't keep several hot cars parked in his driveway... and a prostitute doesn't put a big sign in the front yard describing her prices and services.

And it might be rare... but its not that hard... there are three very much adult (as in OVER 18) porn stars that are under 5 foot... maybe 80 lbs... and at best a Triple A cup... one was absolutely flat chested... 2 of the three that come to mind are Asian.

Young adults looking 8 or 9 might be common, but they would have to try hard to NOT look very young... so what would you suggest, they date 14 year old boys because they look so young... because apparently adult men that might actually date them would be accused of being pedophiles by a certain few people here... so the alternative is this women should be expected to be completely asexual and celibate for no reason other then they were unfortunate enough to have not fully developed like say... Anna Nicole Smith did?

Besides I find it humorous that women with low self esteem and a chip on their shoulder the size of s skyscraper have an business telling the rest of us who are normal without such huge biases... what porn does and doesn't do to us...

No it doesn't desensitize us. I've looked at it since I first discovered what fun the male penis could be... which is nearly 40 years now... and I'm a downright prude when it comes to sex compared to the average 20 something that don't think blowjobs are actually sex... And that a girl can give head and anal sex every day for years but consider herself a virgin because she avoided vaginal sex, or that has sex with three or more different people... sometimes in the same day... much less at the same time.

It hasn't desensitized me at all... and most of us without personal issues will say the same.


For the people so quick to assume he is guilty knowing nothing about this really... and seriously, nothing has really been proven other than someone pregnant and hormonal glanced at something she didn't like while snooping around when she shouldn't have been had she been respectful.

Lets just hope sometime soon someone accuses YOU of something heinous so you can get a chance of proving your innocence. And find out how hard it really is to prove a negative...

Because... it CAN happen.

If she carries the computer to the police station, she would be arrested, since she has possession of the computer, in fact he would just claim she put it all there if police asked.

And it might be rare...but its not that hard....there are three very much adult (as in OVER 18) porn stars that are under 5 foot....maybe 80 lbs....and at best a Triple A cup....one was absolutely flat chested....2 of the three that come to mind are Asian.

Young adults looking 8 or 9 might be common, but they would have to try hard to NOT look very young.....so what would you suggest, they date 14 year old boys because they look so young....because apparently adult men that might actually date them would be accused of being pedophiles by a certain few people here.....so the alternative is this women should be expected to be completely asexual and celibate for no reason other then they were unfortunate enough to have not fully developed like say...Anna Nicole Smith did?

So what there are porn stars under 5 ft, flat chested, and 80 lbs! That means nothing. I highly doubt they look 9 years old. You can be completely flat chested, super short and thin and look like a woman. I have 2 cousins built exactly like that. They are 5 ft at most and 90 lbs. They look their age (mid 20's and 19).

Just because someone is flat chested and tiny doesn't mean they can pull off looking like a little kid. That's an insult to many women with tiny builds. No matter the build, a 9 year old's face looks so freaking young. Their face looks like a little girl. I understand plenty people do look younger than they are. But if this is so common please list some porn stars who are legal but look like pre pubescent 9 year olds.

The second paragraph I quoted from you was complete NONSENSE. You said what should these young women who look like kids do, date 14 year olds? And be asexual (I know you were being sarcastic). Um no. And you said according to some of us if these young adults with tiny builds dated men their age we'd think the men were pedophiles. Give me a break. I'd like to know where are all these young adults that look like little children??

If she carries the computer to the police station, she would be arrested, since she has possession of the computer, in fact he would just claim she put it all there if police asked.



If she stumbles upon this "kiddie" porn and bring the evidence (computer) to the police station, she will be arrested?

On what grounds? She would be supplying the police with evidence. How would she be at fault?

I disagree with you that she would be arrested.

Chuck may be correct. It might simply be taken as an admission of guilt, especially if this data is stored on her account IP address. When matters are this important, it is best not to open a door if you don't know what is behind it. With all due respect to police officers, just like all other people, some are reasonable and cooperative and some are not.

And now we have the whole other factor of another person who has received and forwarded the porn getting arrested, OP's computer being seized and now these posts are on that same computer's memory.

Suddenly OP is a co-conspirator IF we are talking about child porn.

When was the last time OP responded? It's been a while...

Perhaps she is dealing with this situation, which could be why she has not responded.

The bottom line is that if SHE does not know for sure the age of these girls, then how are we supposed to know?

I really hope she comes back for an update. For the first time ever on AMHD I feel we ALL need some sort of closure on this thread.

Maybe we should also refrain from further comments to avoid completely hijacking his thread, and debating each other personally.

And if she does call the cops and NOTHING is illegal...I hope he goes after her will every legal recourse he as....and at the very least put her out. Because NO person who went behind my back like that would get to sleep under my rood one more night.....because that is an incredible act of betrayal...because people who willingly commoit crimes rarely leave the evidence in plain sight....I.E. a car thief doesn't keep several hot cars parked in his driveway....and a prostitute doesn't put a big sign in the front yard describing her prices and services.

And it might be rare...but its not that hard....there are three very much adult (as in OVER 18) porn stars that are under 5 foot....maybe 80 lbs....and at best a Triple A cup....one was absolutely flat chested....2 of the three that come to mind are Asian.

Young adults looking 8 or 9 might be common, but they would have to try hard to NOT look very young.....so what would you suggest, they date 14 year old boys because they look so young....because apparently adult men that might actually date them would be accused of being pedophiles by a certain few people here.....so the alternative is this women should be expected to be completely asexual and celibate for no reason other then they were unfortunate enough to have not fully developed like say...Anna Nicole Smith did?

Besides I find it humorous that women with low self esteem and a chip on their shoulder the size of s skyscraper have an business telling the rest of us who are normal without such huge biases...what porn does and doesn't do to us....

No it doesn't desensitize us. I've looked at it since I first discovered what fun the male penis could be...which is nearly 40 years now.....and I'm a downright prude when it comes to sex compared to the average 20 something that don't think blowjobs are actually sex....And that a girl can give head and anal sex every day for years but consider herself a virgin because she avoided vaginal sex, or that has sex with three or more different people....sometimes in the same day....much less at the same time.

It hasn't desensitized me at all.....and most of us without personal issues will say the same.


For the people so quick to assume he is guilty knowing nothing about this really....and seriously, nothing has really been proven other than someone pregnant and hormonal glanced at something she didn't like while snooping around when she shouldn't have been had she been respectful.

Lets just hope sometime soon someone accuses YOU of something heinous so you can get a chance of proving your innocence. And find out how hard it really is to prove a negative....

Because.....it CAN happen.
"It hasn't desensitized me at all.....and most of us without personal issues will say the same"

It may not have, but it made you paranoid. The person said she saw what she thought was child porn. My comment about taking it to the police was to show there is a large difference between porn, even the stuff that try's to look young and real child porn. The cops do nothing with one and you have major problems.

As far as your dumb comment about three pornstars that look young (it's scary you can describe them) that is interesting. Since I don't know, I looked up female pornstars and I read that at any one time there are 1200-1500 registered with different agencies. So out of 1200-1500 women you say there are three. Really? If you immediately know 3 out of 1200-1500 I would worry I might be watching more than I think.

Child porn is not porn. It is not a betrayal, it is a crime.

"It hasn't desensitized me at all.....and most of us without personal issues will say the same"

It may not have, but it made you paranoid. The person said she saw what she thought was child porn. My comment about taking it to the police was to show there is a large difference between porn, even the stuff that try's to look young and real child porn. The cops do nothing with one and you have major problems.

As far as your dumb comment about three pornstars that look young (it's scary you can describe them) that is interesting. Since I don't know, I looked up female pornstars and I read that at any one time there are 1200-1500 registered with different agencies. So out of 1200-1500 women you say there are three. Really? If you immediately know 3 out of 1200-1500 I would worry I might be watching more than I think.

Child porn is not porn. It is not a betrayal, it is a crime.

Really... its amazing how you are able to do something nobody else on this thread is capable of... knowing what exactly is Reallyt is really on that hard drive... or do you work as a fortune teller as a profession? Or is it you really don't care... you feel you are entitled to be judge, jury and exicutioner?

You spew one rude comment after another... you really are an unpleasent person, aren't you. Some previous ones have already been removed.

Incidentally... you've been reported.