My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2+ years, he's 28 and I'm 25. At this stage of HIS life, he's ready to buy a house and settle down. I, on the other hand, am not. I just started classes to further my education, and if you put it in perspective, we've only been at a close distance to one another for about a year. We had a long-distance relationship previous to that. Anyway, I feel like I need to get my together before I do anything as drastic as moving into a house with my boyfriend. For one, we're just now getting into the groove of being around each other a lot more and secondly, I'm working and trying to further my education. I couldn't afford to pay $900 a month to live with him and go to school at the same time. It just seems very stressful and relationships don't handle well when rushed or in a stressful environment... How could I tell him all this in he nicest way possible. I do love him, and I absolutely see myself moving in with him, marrying him, the whole nine.. Just not yet. --Please spare me the, "He'll understands if he loves you" comments. He's very understanding, and I know he loves me... I'm just trying to figure out a way to tell him so that his feelings don't get hurt.

To save you the "If he loves you, he will understand."'as you call it jargon I will skip to the good stuff. I think that you definitely make a valid point in what you're saying. You need space on your own to do the things that are necessary for your life. If moving in with him will stunt that, by all means do not do it. Although; if you do in fact love this guy, there are a few things about being in love that you must first accept as you continue the relationship.

As you grow in the relationship, changes are inevitable and they must be faced. In this case you are asking yourself if your ready for more of a commitment to him. From what it sounds it scares you a bit and gives you cold feet. You have to decide whether that feeling exists purely from immaturity (no offense intended there... I'm simply stating that a part of your mind hasn't reached a particular level.. And it's OK to admit that to yourself... It isn't necessarily a bad thing.. it's just your state of mind). Or if that feeling exists because of insecurities within the relationship. You really got to dig deep for that one.. And you have to do it! Because if you don't, as you become more and more attached to this person, when you realize he's not the one you want to be with, you might settle because you've gotten older and now you don't want to wait to be married or have kids.

To help you say something to him: you just need to sit him down or bring him to lunch.. Preferably in a neutral setting. Tell him your particular feelings, exactly the way you expressed them on this website. Tell him you are trying to further your education. That you need some freedom and you feel as though getting a place together might be too costly for you and you would rather live by yourself. The key thing is not to give too many excuses. Because he may say: "freedom.. Heck you can do or be anywhere you want baby..." Then he'll say "costly? Don't worry I'll pay the rent for the entire time while you are in school.. Enjoy love."'
So in essence you have to be straight forward with him in saying you are NOT ready to move in with him and take your relationship to the next level. Even though it may make him a little upset, it will pan out better in the end. Regardless, he will probably be upset knowing that his GF doesn't want to live with him. No matter HOW nice you say it to him. But the more honest and open you are.. The better. You can say also.. I just want to take things slowly and not rush them so that our relationship can really flourish and be something. Explain that it's not because he did something, that its purely you not being ready and that you need a little more time.

There you go.. But one thing you got to get straight missy is how you feel about this man. Do not continue this because of convenience. That's how you'll really break his heart. If he's not the right one and you don't want to live with him within the next year.. Then that's a red flag. I was with my GF for 4 months and we moved in - Now that's WAYYY to fast. But it did teach me an amazing amount about relationships and maturity. Mind you I'm 24 and she's 30. I met her at 22.

Just think about it ;). Key point - BE CLEAR with him!! Good luck! Repost and please let me know how it goes!