Hello, first time on this site. I know everybody has a unique problem and of course so is mine. I can't even think of where to start. The story would take months to read. I guess the main issue right now is to see how non-bias individuals would react and say to the story my 4y/o son told me who will be 5 next month. I have 50/50 custody, everything equal. No child support going either way. My son told me out of nowhere that his daddy (other parent's main significant other) was yelling and screaming at his mother and said "I'm going to kill you" to his mother in front of him and the other siblings there. My son then said "me, sissy, brother were all crying and mommy too". I then asked if his daddy hit his mother and he showed me as if his daddy was grabbing his mother by both arms real tight & pushing on her. I already know what it is like to be at the other end of this man's violence when he beat on me approx 6 to 7 years ago when I started dating my son's mother who was living with this man like she is doing now, not married and I was told not having any relation's with and is an x-husband and father of three of their kids. I know, I should have never got involved. Anyway, it's a little too late for that. Now, she is back with him and not married. (Actually she recently married someone else and that ended up being a three day marriage of which I'm not suppose to know about) She is still with this x-husband. Well, I just didn't know what to do. I don't want my son witnessing this domestic violence in front of him. I don't want my son growing up thinking it's all right to hit women. That day when my son told me, I could see how scared he was when this incident happened. Of course I notified the legal services and got them involved. The police basically since this was possibly a day or two after the fact went over to her house to do what they call a wellness check. They only talked to her & nobody else during their visit. Of course she denied anything happened and said it was the kids just doing a lot of yelling and screaming while playing. Since she had no marks on her and would not say anything happened it was dismissed and the police cannot do anything more about it. I worry the next time that my son might be in his mother's arms and gets belted the next time this guy goes off for whatever reason. Then you might be reading about me in jail for going off on this jerk. So, I also notified CPS and their doing their investigation. Of course since I have a lot of problems with this woman and seeing my son the way I'm suppose to and don't have the money for a lawyer, I feel like I have to play it by ear for now. I, for one will never go into a court of law in the state of Calif. Without a lawyer when it comes to custody and child support. Judge's are not fair when it comes to the father in these cases and without a lawyer, in a matter of seconds you could possibly lose your custody and shirt off your back. So far CPS has not contacted me since they interviewed my child after my complaint. Also, my x-wife has not said anything and I'm sure she is covering her bases and being very careful of not letting me know that her household is being investigated. I don't really want her to know I called or else I might not see my son for another month or two and will have to bring her to court. The police department already told me that if it is time for me to have my son and she is defying the court order, all I can do is take her back to court and they will not physically go over to her house and get my son for me. There is so much more to the history that a fair answer is not possible. Like I said, my history with this woman goes back 7 years and we both have done bad things. We have both worked on our lives and have made them better. Should I open up and tell her what my son told me, then the blame for CPS would be on him for informing me and his way of unstressing his emotions to someone he trust could be in jeapody. I already know that she coaches her kids very well. I just want my son to be able to tell me anything and not have him afraid to tell me. What I find a little amusing was when I recently watched all the kids of this family my son belongs to. I heard his slightly older sister say something to the effect that "we don't say kill anymore" to my son. So the kids are already being coached. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks

Hi, I can imagine what you're going through! I understand your fears, your anger, your confusion. It's true in Cali the judges are so unfair. My advice to you is to write down everything your son is telling you. When he spends time with you make him feel comfortable let him come out and tell you what goes on. Don't interogate your son, I know it's difficult especially when you don't trust the people around your son. When you have your son with you, take him to the park spend a great time with him, try and keep a good friendship with his mom so that maybe she can come to you for help if ever needed in the future. Always tell your son that you love him and that you're there to protect him and that you won't ever let anything and anyone hurt him. Make your boy feel comfortable to tell you everything. About you telling his mom that your son told you about that incident that one day, I don't think that's a good idea you're right! Don't let her find out, It's very important that when your son is with you that he feels at peace, happy and comfortable. You dedicate your life to your boy! Don't mean to be nosie but are you working right now?? If so keep working hard. Always keep working on bettering your life more and more don't settle for anything be ambitious always want more and more. I'm a single mom raising 4 children on my own, I had 2 kids from 2 men/boys because they're so irresponsible. They both pay their child support but they suck in building a relationship with their kids, I don't bother in understanding them anymore I gave up on both of them. You're a great dad, always remember that it's up to us parents to give our kids a great child hood. Remember also that right now you're building some great memories for your son. Spend time with him, you teach him right from wrong. OH and just because he's in a household where there's domestic violence that don't mean that you can't raise a smart strong man, you did right in getting the CPS involved because that guy your ex is with will hesitate to yell or hurt anyone, he probably thinks that the neighbors called. Don't give up stay strong and keep on working hard for you and your boy. Good luck and God Bless

Hello, I have a 3 yr old boy and I want to know what can I do for my parents to get custody of him if I shall pass away. I know what a question its just that my husbands family have never accepted me or myn son there always telling my husband its not his... its even got physycal.. and they have drug use and domestic violince there so I would really want for my parents to keep my son after I'm gone.Hope yo can help me with my question.