Vendetta1
Jan 28, 2013, 07:42 PM
Hello everyone. I am a last year university student. I am studying in the United Kingdom, but am originally from a different country. For a very long time (pretty much from start of school altogether) I have had a problem with studying. I simply can't focus. If I am listening/watching or reading study materials I often find myself "spacing out" and thinking about endless other things (it could literally be anything but studying). Lately it started to really take its toll and affect my studies negatively (so far I have coped with poor marks but still above the pass line) and I can't really study like a normal student. I know it's not ADHD, because there have been times when I would actually be very focused on studying (rarely) or a different task or just being able to filly concentrate listening to something or someone. I don't know what it is, but it is seriously affecting my marks and sometimes I wonder if I will be able to graduate at all (I only have 7 assignments left). My life is very problematic, so I am not too surprised that I can't be a normal student, but I was wondering if there is something I can do to prevent my mind from thinking about other things when I am trying to study. I don't want to go too much details about my problems (I don't want to seem like I am whining or complaining), but when I study I most often think about several areas of my life which are very troubling:
-my family (and I) is very poor so the very fact that I am in uversity is generally speaking against the odds. I keep thinking about this most of the time, and I can't even begin to count how many subsequent problems this has caused for me, including growing up with no self-esteem and no confidence, being shy and distant, not able to form friendships or relationships
-I grew up with the belief that girls found me unattractive, weird and unappealing (various reasons, but that also led no confidence etc.), so as a result I have never had a girlfriend or any sexual and romantic experience, which is very very hard for me to talk about, as I try to hide it on a daily basis. This is something that also fills my thoughts more than half the time when I try to study.
-I don't eat well (because I am poor), I try to exercise but as you might guess it is not going well because of lack of motivation and of course not eating well
-Generally I am depressed, so when I try to study I also think about other students and how their lives are OK and everything is if not very good then at least good enough, and I also think about how I never got the chance to be normal and have that feeling of security and inner peace of mind knowing that my family can provide.
So basically speaking, when I try to study I can't stop thinking about how bad my life is and how I want to improve it right now but can't. It is getting really bad and I don't know how to change it. I went to counselling in the university, but didn't find it much helpful (we had 6 1-hour long sessions, and they weren't even close to enough for me to just explain my problems and feelings, let alone what I could do to help myself). Can you guys help me? I am really desperate and I really tried everything I could find on the internet as tips for stuyding, but given my poor situation most of them were obsolete or irrelevant. I just can't stop thinking about those points I made when I am trying to study, and I feel nothing can really help me, except winning the lottery and getting a girlfriend on the same day, which must be tomorrow, because I am running out of time to change my life (I feel it is too late already, because I have missed out on so many things normal teenagers and younger people do; I also feel a very strong urge to compensate for what I have missed out, but I don't have time nor resources to do that). Can anyone help me please? I don't know what to do and I can't really study like a normal student, but really want to. I want to do well and I know that I can, if only I could focus and motivate myself somehow.
P.S. I am sorry if my grammar is bad, my native language is not English and I have only been in the UK since the start of my studies in September 2010.
-my family (and I) is very poor so the very fact that I am in uversity is generally speaking against the odds. I keep thinking about this most of the time, and I can't even begin to count how many subsequent problems this has caused for me, including growing up with no self-esteem and no confidence, being shy and distant, not able to form friendships or relationships
-I grew up with the belief that girls found me unattractive, weird and unappealing (various reasons, but that also led no confidence etc.), so as a result I have never had a girlfriend or any sexual and romantic experience, which is very very hard for me to talk about, as I try to hide it on a daily basis. This is something that also fills my thoughts more than half the time when I try to study.
-I don't eat well (because I am poor), I try to exercise but as you might guess it is not going well because of lack of motivation and of course not eating well
-Generally I am depressed, so when I try to study I also think about other students and how their lives are OK and everything is if not very good then at least good enough, and I also think about how I never got the chance to be normal and have that feeling of security and inner peace of mind knowing that my family can provide.
So basically speaking, when I try to study I can't stop thinking about how bad my life is and how I want to improve it right now but can't. It is getting really bad and I don't know how to change it. I went to counselling in the university, but didn't find it much helpful (we had 6 1-hour long sessions, and they weren't even close to enough for me to just explain my problems and feelings, let alone what I could do to help myself). Can you guys help me? I am really desperate and I really tried everything I could find on the internet as tips for stuyding, but given my poor situation most of them were obsolete or irrelevant. I just can't stop thinking about those points I made when I am trying to study, and I feel nothing can really help me, except winning the lottery and getting a girlfriend on the same day, which must be tomorrow, because I am running out of time to change my life (I feel it is too late already, because I have missed out on so many things normal teenagers and younger people do; I also feel a very strong urge to compensate for what I have missed out, but I don't have time nor resources to do that). Can anyone help me please? I don't know what to do and I can't really study like a normal student, but really want to. I want to do well and I know that I can, if only I could focus and motivate myself somehow.
P.S. I am sorry if my grammar is bad, my native language is not English and I have only been in the UK since the start of my studies in September 2010.