My daughter is now to her biological father has not had her since she was 9 months old I'm now getting married and want my daughter to have our last name of the man that she has only known as her father how do I go about it with not having to involve the other party

You cant. It will take a court order for a name change and the father of the child will have to be contacted. If he objects then it may not happen at all.

You cant. It will take a court order for a name change and the father of the child will have to be contacted. If he objects then it may not happen at all.
I heard or read some were if the father doesn't have contact with child fir a certain amount of time u can get a court order

What you heard is location specific. It's not possible in all areas of the world.

I heard or read some were if the father doesn't have contact with child fir a certain amount of time u can get a court order

Does he pay child support ? What has been through the courts as far as visitation/custody so far ?

You can get court orders, but it always involves notifying the other parent, to give them the opportunity to be heard in court.

So your question was , "is there a way without involving" the other party.

That answer is no, the other party will have to be notified. It works easier and cheaper if you get their permission.

Also changing the name does not take away the bio fathers rights, the new husband would have to adopt, to actually make any legal custody change

Does he pay child support ? What has been through the courts as far as visitation/custody so far ?

He doesn't want to see her has not gone to the courts yes he pays child support but has asked me if he can cancel it

Then you have your new husband adopt. Start looking for an attorney.

I heard or read some were if the father doesn't have contact with child fir a certain amount of time u can get a court order

As others have indicated, that's the way it works in many places, but it depends on the law of the particular state. And, also as has been said, that doesn't mean that it can be done without serving him with notice of the court proceeding.

Say that, for example, the law in your jurisdiction allows a name-change (or adoption, for that matter) under certain circumstances. It may say, for example, that it can be done if the absent parent has, without sufficient reason, failed to have any contact with the child for a year. He would still have to be given notice and opportunity to be heard regarding whether there was "sufficient reason", or whether he in fact did make contact within that period.