Lin Dave
Jan 25, 2013, 03:31 AM
Dear all,
First of all, English is not my native language. So, please excuse me if make any mistakes. But I ll try to put it.
Background: I met this woman (30) a Single Mother with a cool boy (10) and I pursued her two months and finally we got together right on the New years eve. Since then, we ve been living together. However, we did not talk and consult each other to move in together, its just started I move my stuff one by one. So, we lived together a year.
Positive side of me: I am a good guy, (friends tell me that I have a good heart and gentle person) decent earner and educated. Working in International Development field for three years. Negative: I drink occasionally and I smoke. I had minor problems over drinking and I had quit and I am clean for two months. Our sex life is perfect.My relationship with the kid is perfect and we sort of friends sometimes he hugs and bite my arm and he likes to play with me.
So, the problem is she gave my ring back right after a little fight over the wedding day one day after my proposal (she cried and said yes). Before the proposal, we went through some emotional and dramatic situations. (first she trusts me now completely and second not trusting and she wants to take things slowly and I said it before too)
Before, She said she loves me too much, really too much and sometimes she thinks that she loves me more than her son (I guess that's not really true, I don't know such thing) and deep inside she wants me to commit her and tried to tell me indirect ways. But I understood and I did propose.
Anyway, few months ago, she said that we need to share the our expenses. I took it like a little kid and I said I need to think it over and I went home and came back next and said yes. From now and then she brought this up when have argument.
So, long story short, she returned the ring and said she is doubtful. I went home and she called me back next afternoon and said she screwed up and wants to talk. I said to her: No, Its not going to happen, I am not going to marry some one who is uncertain and indecisive (but deep inside I didn't mean it and I just want to feel her bad and beg me more which is immature I think) and I asked her to have my stuff to be delivered to my place which she did. And then my panic has started once I realize that my all stuff is with me and I am alone in my apartment where there is no one. I took two days of no contact and I could not bear it and I went to her and begged to get back together. She said No, you left alreay and plus I don't think we are good match etc. Since then I v been trying to reach her through emails, texts etc. I send her email about my day naming it as "Diary of your Wimpy Guy" the movie we liked to watch and few days later went her to her place with a flower in my hand and a letter (basically says that I will learn to grow my respect for her, because she mentioned that I don't respect her wish or something which is true some times I think myself as an alphamale which is typical attitude for an Asian guy like me) and begged her for an hour by explaining how I worked on myself by reading relationship books with a pen in my hand, reading articles and digging internet and watching movies like : Jerry Mcguire, Sleepless in Seattle etc. Honestly, I cried while I watched those movies and I even cried when I ask her to get back together. Well, all I receive is no, no, no, she has doubt on me.. and she said she wants some space and she needs to find her soul (a monk told her soul is gone).
My assessment of this situation are either she loves me very much and work on herself a little bit and will be back to me despite the fact she cut all of her contacts with me since I was being a little needy and sent her constant text etc, but she seemed enjoyed it and we kissed and she sat on my lap etc but still saying No.. Anways, I don't understand her, does she fear for the future with me? Or does she think it is too good to be true (early stage she told me so) and I don't deserve him? I don't know. It's a very complicated, women are so complicated? What does she want and will she come back do you think? Please excuse me if my writing is poor and hard to understand. I thank you all in advance for your advises.
Best I
First of all, English is not my native language. So, please excuse me if make any mistakes. But I ll try to put it.
Background: I met this woman (30) a Single Mother with a cool boy (10) and I pursued her two months and finally we got together right on the New years eve. Since then, we ve been living together. However, we did not talk and consult each other to move in together, its just started I move my stuff one by one. So, we lived together a year.
Positive side of me: I am a good guy, (friends tell me that I have a good heart and gentle person) decent earner and educated. Working in International Development field for three years. Negative: I drink occasionally and I smoke. I had minor problems over drinking and I had quit and I am clean for two months. Our sex life is perfect.My relationship with the kid is perfect and we sort of friends sometimes he hugs and bite my arm and he likes to play with me.
So, the problem is she gave my ring back right after a little fight over the wedding day one day after my proposal (she cried and said yes). Before the proposal, we went through some emotional and dramatic situations. (first she trusts me now completely and second not trusting and she wants to take things slowly and I said it before too)
Before, She said she loves me too much, really too much and sometimes she thinks that she loves me more than her son (I guess that's not really true, I don't know such thing) and deep inside she wants me to commit her and tried to tell me indirect ways. But I understood and I did propose.
Anyway, few months ago, she said that we need to share the our expenses. I took it like a little kid and I said I need to think it over and I went home and came back next and said yes. From now and then she brought this up when have argument.
So, long story short, she returned the ring and said she is doubtful. I went home and she called me back next afternoon and said she screwed up and wants to talk. I said to her: No, Its not going to happen, I am not going to marry some one who is uncertain and indecisive (but deep inside I didn't mean it and I just want to feel her bad and beg me more which is immature I think) and I asked her to have my stuff to be delivered to my place which she did. And then my panic has started once I realize that my all stuff is with me and I am alone in my apartment where there is no one. I took two days of no contact and I could not bear it and I went to her and begged to get back together. She said No, you left alreay and plus I don't think we are good match etc. Since then I v been trying to reach her through emails, texts etc. I send her email about my day naming it as "Diary of your Wimpy Guy" the movie we liked to watch and few days later went her to her place with a flower in my hand and a letter (basically says that I will learn to grow my respect for her, because she mentioned that I don't respect her wish or something which is true some times I think myself as an alphamale which is typical attitude for an Asian guy like me) and begged her for an hour by explaining how I worked on myself by reading relationship books with a pen in my hand, reading articles and digging internet and watching movies like : Jerry Mcguire, Sleepless in Seattle etc. Honestly, I cried while I watched those movies and I even cried when I ask her to get back together. Well, all I receive is no, no, no, she has doubt on me.. and she said she wants some space and she needs to find her soul (a monk told her soul is gone).
My assessment of this situation are either she loves me very much and work on herself a little bit and will be back to me despite the fact she cut all of her contacts with me since I was being a little needy and sent her constant text etc, but she seemed enjoyed it and we kissed and she sat on my lap etc but still saying No.. Anways, I don't understand her, does she fear for the future with me? Or does she think it is too good to be true (early stage she told me so) and I don't deserve him? I don't know. It's a very complicated, women are so complicated? What does she want and will she come back do you think? Please excuse me if my writing is poor and hard to understand. I thank you all in advance for your advises.
Best I