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She says she wants us to treat her own children like our grandchildren, yet we have never been invited to any birthday parties for them. They have maternal grandparents who are involved in their lives; we are OK just being family. She resents me for saying I didn't want my son to get married again, blending his 3 and her 4, but I never said he should not marry her.

I had hoped he would take the time to put his own daughter first for a while. His daughter is now 17. She and I are very close, and I have always been the one constant person in her life. My son has a habit of marrying women with children and putting those children first. I watched as things started to go wrong, talked to my son, but it did no good. His daughter/my granddaughter went back to live with her biological mom and it's the happiest she has been in 2 years.

My son and his wife are now having a baby, a reminder we have not done anything with them as a family in a year. We live 15 min. apart and have not been invited to one thing. I have 3 grandchildren whom I brag about and love, but my son's wife feels I am being mean because I don't include her children as my grandchildren, yet she never mentions my son's daughter/my granddaughter as a part of their family when she post things on Facebook that are going on in their lives.

Despite that, I am the bad guy. This girl is her husband's who lived with them for over a year and during that time the wife never mentioned her. I have tried to fix this, reached out in various ways, but nothing. On Thanksgiving, she posted, then deleted me as a friend two months after they married when I gave a supportive reply about being a great parent when you are doing what they want and a mean one when you make them do homework. I posted, "Yes, that's the joys of being a parent." She went nuts.. so anything I have posted from that day she only sees by reading my son's FB page.

On Thanksgiving, she made a video with the caption, "This is how I told our family and loved ones we are expecting," [unintelligible--now a were not their not was his daughter who was to be there in an hour] That is how I found out I was to be a grams again, and yet I am the one causing problems. Sorry, but this was just mean--not just to me but to my granddaughter and daughter, and she did it knowing that's how I would find out.

Anyway, so my son called and said he wants it all to stop because I am always upsetting her Not sure where this is going to end up, but I know I will not be a big part in this child's life. The wife will not allow it no matter what I do. She doesn't think she is unreasonable for any of the problems. No matter what I say or post, she finds something to get upset about. I feel bad for my son but he is part of the problem.

When I saw the video on Facebook, I sent him a message that we needed to meet and talk all this out to move forward, but I got no response until yesterday. He was pissed again, said he wanted to get past this crap. I said fine but she needs to be here or nothing will get resolved because she is the one who has the issues with me. Well, that was yesterday and I have heard nothing.

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***ORIGINAL POST***
She says she wants us to treat her children like our grand children yet we have never been invited to any birthday parties for them, they have grandparents who are involved inn their lives we are OK just being family.she resents me for saying I didn't want my son to get married again, his 3 and her 4 but I never sud he should not marry her I had hoped he would take the time to put his daughter first for awhile, his daughter is now 17 we are very close and I have always been the 1 constant person in her life. son has a habit of marrying women with children and putting those children first. Watched as things started to go wrong, talked to son did no good daughter went back to live with her mom.. she it's the happiest she had been in 2 years .they are now having a baby, reminder we have not done anything with them as a family in a year we live 15 min. apart a were not invitedd to one thing. I have 3 grandchildren I Bragg about and love, she feels I am being mean because I don't include her children as my grandchildren yet she never mentions my granddaughter add a part of the family when she post things going on in their lives, yes Facebook.yet I am the bad guy this child is her husbands who lived with them for over a year and doing that time she still never mentioned her.I have tired to fix this reached out in didn't ways nothing so.. on thanks giving she post ohhhhh yes she deleted me as a friend 2 months after they married when I commented a supportive reply about being a great parent when you are doing what they want and a mean one when you make them do home work I posted yes that's the joys of being a parent she went nuts.. so anything I have posted from that day she only I
See by reading my sons.. Ok now the fun.on thanks giving she made a video with the caption this is how a told out family and loved ones we are expecting, now a were not their not was his daughter who was to be there in an hour.. that its how I found out I was to be a grams again , and yet I am the one causing problems sorry but this was just mean not just to me but my granddaughter and daughter and she did it knowing that's how I would find out.anyway so my son calls and says he wants it all to stop,I am always upsetting her , not sure whet this is going to end up but ,I know I will not be a big post in this child life she will not allow it no matter what I do.she doesn't think she reasonable for any of the problem .no matter what I say or post she find something to get upset about I feel bad for my son but he is part of the problem .when I saw the video on Facebook,I sent him a message that needed to meet and talk all this out to move forward , got no response until yesterday Webern he was pissed again said he wanted to get past this crap I said fine but she need to be her or nothing will resolved because she it's the one who had the issues with me.. well that was yesterday and I have heard nothing

I recommend you cut both your son and his wife from your life for a while. Take care of your 17 years old grand daughter who you are closed with and simply send cards/gifts to their home for their newborn child as he/she is your grand child as well.

Your daughter-in-law sounds awfully confused about what she wants from you and if she cannot decide on whether she wants a mother-in-law or a mother-in-law-from-hell, walk away until she matures. If they accuse you of not caring for them or being there for them, kindly remind them of their behaviors and tell them that you refuse to be disrespected and accused of nonsense behaviors when you've done nothing wrong. If they cannot respect you for standing your ground as the grandmother who refuse to deal with immature behaviors from adults, they do not deserve a place in your life but be sure to show your grand babies love and if they chose to hide your gifts from their kids... that's their problem, not yours.

Could you re-write your post, it's very hard to understand most of it.

I'm really having a hard time following what you are trying to say.

Would you mind breaking it up into paragraphs and sentences?

I would like to help, but I'm just not sure of what you have said. It really makes little sense as it is.

I too cannot understand your sentences, spelling, and punctuation.
But I did get the part about how you didn't want your son to marry again, and I do have a feeling that you are not the most tactful person, nor a person who lets people run their own lives. Step back for many months, I would say, and when you do get invited there someday, keep your opinions about absolutely everything to yourself.

I am surprised son and daughter in law is even talking to you in the first place, after saying you wish he did not remarry.

And yes, you should be treating all of the kids the same, esp if that is what you son wants.
The kids just are kids, and to be honest I did not speak to my mother for almost 4 years over this exact issue.

In my experience if someone isn't talking to you, maybe you need to look at yourself and see what you are doing to cause this. I do not speak to my own mother because she is a very negative and bitter woman! I am not saying you are but my point is she can't understand why I cut her out of my life. Sometimes people focus the blame on others they won't see what they are doing to others. From your post it sounds like you are meddling too much and in denial about it. Maybe go talk to someone about this. It might help you get clarity! Also telling your son you didn't approve of your wife is a huge red flag of why I think this.