I am a military retiree and I got a divorce in 2002, and because I never attended the proceedings, my ex was awarded my retirement until I die or she dies. Is that legal or do I have a leg to stand on since she has remarried?

Yes, since you did not show up, to represent your rights, she got what she asked for.

You can hire an attorney and see if any appeal can be done.

Why didn't you attend the proceedings, or send a lawyer in your place?

Military laws allow for a lot of extended time to postpone a divorce if you are on active duty when a spouse files. Did you know that; did you do that? You didn't even have a lawyer?

Just because it isn't fair that she still gets your pension after she remarries doesn't mean you have any rights now.

Unless you can show that your failure to appear was due to a military deployment, I doubt if you can do anything now.

It was perfectly legal for the court to award her your retirement. Since you didn't show to provide a fight, she won by default. You were then sent papers detailing the divorce settlement. So 10 years have gone by without your doing anything about this. The likelihood of getting it changed now is very slim. You need to consult an attorney who might be able to find a loophole.

By the way, her remarrying has absolutely nothing to do with this. If you were paying alimony it might, but not an award of your retirement.

There was a lawyer representing me and I was not aware of the fact about her receiving my retirement until I die or she dies. To me it sounds like the lawyer was working on her behalf. I live in Texas and the ex wife lives in Kentucky and that is where the divorce proceedings were done. The lawyer did not consult me by phone or mail about the details of the retirement.
I was working in Texas and was not able to afford to go because I paid for the divorce that my ex had started. I had been retire for 4 years when my wife went and filed and I had went to the home of my ex wife within those years and she had a new male partner who had moved in and I was supporting her and my daughter. I was aware of anyone moving in with her until I went and surprised her and my daughter due to a death in my wife's family.

Then you need to go back to that lawyer and ask why he gave away your pension. Maybe he got some other concessions in return. But it sounds like you may have given him carte blanche to deal with the situation.

Then you need to go back to that lawyer and ask why he gave away your pension. Maybe he got some other concessions in return. But it sounds like you may have given him carte blanche to deal with the situation.

I went back to the lawyer that represented me at my divorce proceeding and she stated that she has moved out of that district and that I needed to find someone else to go back to court.

That's not what I suggested you ask. You have the right to ask about decisions made during your case. She can decline to represent you in the future. She may even bill you for the time to answer questions, but you should have the right to those answers.

That's not what I suggested you ask. You have the right to ask about decisions made during your case. She can decline to represent you in the future. She may even bill you for the time to answer questions, but you should have the right to those answers.

I had to identify myself and when she had handle the divorce and I ask why did she not defend me when it came to my retirement and she stated in accordance Poe vs Poe, Ky, App. 711 S.W.2d 849 that she was entitled to it until I die or she dies and that is when she went into that she has moved to another county. So I just gave up cause I felt it was a lost cause because she stated that Poe vs Poe thing.

My understanding is that unless a proper QDRO (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QDRO) is in place, the Pentagon will not honor it.

Hmm, I'm not so sure that Poe vs Poe forces the court to allow the awarding of the pension. Clearly it allows a court to do so, but the plaintiff would have to ask for it. So I'm guessing your ex had a smart lawyer who also knew Poe vs Poe and knew the court would grant it if they asked for it.

So it appears legal and that your attorney really didn't have much choice in agreeing to it.


My understanding is that unless a proper QDRO (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QDRO) is in place, the Pentagon will not honor it.

I would agree with you, but since she appears to be collecting, a QDRO was properly filed.

Poe v Poe was groundbreaking - from what I'm reading - but I'm sure you know that. It appears that until that decision a military pension was somehow protected in a divorce. Poe vs Poe set forth a formula to divide a military pension and drastically and totally changed the law.

It's the same as any State which sets child support by Statute - a military pension is divided in accordance with law.

I don't understand your confusion. Did you read Poe vs Poe?

It would appear that nothing would be different if you had been there - it's the law.

Your divorce was 11 years ago. What took so long?

Did the pensionor have a joinder and were they a party of this action? From poe v poe it was a matter of deciding that the pension was an asset of the marriage. She shouldn't be entitled to all of it only 1/2 of which the contribution that she contributed to by way of marriage.

How much of your pension was she actually awarded by the courts ?

Okay, I found the QDRO in the documents that I requested from the clerk of courts and also I was sent the divorce decree from Dfense Finance and Accounting Center garnishment section with the divorce decree and not the QDRO which is in the packet that I have. We got married on the 2feb81 and Separated (which she return back to the states) Jul 1994 and have not been together since and looking at the paper of QDRO it said 40.15%.
So inother words you all are tellig me that I will be taking care of her and her new husband until she dies??

Also to respond as to why I waited because my daughter was still in school and I wanted her not to have to want for nothing and at the sametime even though I was sending $1000.00 a month she still went and stated that I was not supporting her and I got hit for child support.

Yes she will get a portion of your pension for the rest of her life, 40% from what you posted.

Well, I guess that is the end of that will be taking care of her and her husband until she dies??
Seems my lawyer did not know what she was doing and her lawyer did and even though I lived in Texas and not Kentucky their law's took presidence over me.

Thanks just will have to live with it

The divorce was filed in KY, they had jurisdiction. Probably nothing you could do about it.

Well enough said I will leave it alone

You may still have a grievance with the courts. From what your stating you were married for 13 years. What was the base amount of years your military pension comes from? If it is over the 13 year period then you may be owed an adjustment. If the period falls outside of your marriage either before or after then you may be owed an adjustment. You need to read your documents carefully. Poe v Poe allowed for a calculation based upon contribution. You need to check their math.

You may still have a grievance with the courts. From what your stating you were married for 13 years. What was the base amount of years your military pension comes from? If it is over the 13 year period then you may be owed an adjustment. If the period falls outside of your marriage either before or after then you may be owed an adjustment. You need to read your documents carefully. Poe v Poe allowed for a calculation based upon contribution. You need to check their math.

We got married in 1981 and we verbally separated in 1994 my years of service was 22 years and after the last post it was stated to me as interpiding that she would receive the retirement for the rest of her life. I can undestand that the lawyer I had did not do her job in ensuring that my ex spouse would receive my retirement for certain amount of time. I just have to live with the fact that I am taking care of her and her new spouse.
The last post stated that Kentucky had jurisdiction so I have no leg to stand on because my legal residence was in Texas and I never resided in Kentucky. There is no calculation in the documentation at all.

the last post it was stated to me as interpiding that she would receive the retirement for the rest of her life. I can undestand that the lawyer I had did not do her job in ensuring that my ex spouse would receive my retirement for certain amount of time.
The last post stated that Kentucky had jurisdiction so I have no leg to stand on because my legal residence was in Texas and I never resided in Kentucky. There is no calculation in the documentation at all.

You are misunderstanding something. A pension is paid to the recipient for the balance of their lifetime. Since Poe vs Poe established case law that allowed the courts to award pension benefits to a divorcing spouse then your lawyer had no real choice but to accept that. But the fact that she is receiving her share for the rest of her life is not the fault of your lawyer, its how pensions work. The only leeway your lawyer might have had is in the share of the pension she received, not any time limit. Even though your paperwork may not show how her share was calculated, there was a calculation. Whether it would be worth it to you to hire an attorney to review the calc, I don't know. If her share was pegged as 40%, I would suspect the calc was fair.

What mattered was not your legal residence, but hers when she filed and where she filed. So yes KY had jurisdiction.

I believe you totally misunderstand the law and the process - yes, I think you should consult with an Attorney to put your mind at ease.

What is a verbal separation? Unless legal papers were filed that "verbal" ("you go your way, I'll go mine") agreement is meaningless.

Why do I think the whole miff here is with her sharing YOUR money with someone else?

Because you are insightful and it's a legal theory called "I don't want you but I don't want anyone else to have you."

Seems I have multiple answer and I will consult a lawyer to see what they think does not hurt to get this cleared. As for talaniman it is not a miff you may or may not have been in any one shoes to note that while your out fighting for your country your spouse is sharing with another.

Ms JudyKayTee,

No it is not that I do not want her to have someone else. Many thing have transpire over the years and me out putting my life on the line and thinking that I am going to come back to a happy home only to hear that I stayed with you for 10 years and now I get your retirement for the rest of my life would you or would you not be angry?
But the only focus I had was my daughter and wanted to ensure that she had a place to lay her head and not worry about where her next meal would come from. So therefore I will consult a lawyer cause the daughter is grown and gone so just like I said why do I need to continue taking care of ex and her spouse so nothing there for not wanting anyone else to have her really?

I'm not arguing with you. I'm telling you the law, which you apparently are not understanding. People say terrible, hateful things to each other during a divorce. Certainly if my spouse lied to me for 10 years I'd be unhappy. I also would have asked questions long before this, I'd read the law so that I understand it and I'm stop referring to why you are supporting your ex and her current. It sounds like sour grapes.

And thanks for serving our Country - which, by the way, other people who post here also did.

My advice? Move on. Her award certainly appears to be by Statute and, unless you change the law retroactively (and others have tried) you have no case.

now i get your retirement for the rest of my life would you or would you not be angry?

Here's a problem I've been having all along. You keep saying that she gets your retirement for life. But, it looks like she only gets 40% and it looks like she was with you for a little less than half the time you served (Thanks for your service). So the 40% makes sense. And the payment for life makes sense because that's what a pension is.

I think your anger is misplaced. I think the award of your pension was neither unfair nor illegal. I think you should be angry at yourself, for not questioning the proceedings more, not taking an active part in the proceedings and not going through the paperwork and then filing immediate protests. I think you are also angry that she moved on. I don't know how much of your anger is well founded and how much isn't. But it seems to me a large part of it is misplaced.