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timitamtimitam
Jan 18, 2013, 01:51 PM
My girlfriend is angry, I love her a lot. I never loved any on the way I love her. We were together for one year. She loved me also. I used to be out going part kind of guy. I used to have a lot of friends. She doesn’t like these parties and all. She always stops me. She always stops me to attend these kinds of parties, don’t talk to girls. I tried my level best to obey her.

3 or 4 times she caught me while I am talking to friends but they were girls. But whenever she misunderstands I called that person back. I cleared my girlfriend that there is nothing wrong. I left that person. Last fight we had same kind of fight in November. I promised her that it will never happen again I will not reply to anyone. She took 45 days to understand that. During this time she was talking to meeting me but finally she said on new OK I will not talk about anything old but you have to be careful and I said I will be. I promised myself I will not talk to any old female friends.

I love my girlfriend so much. I want to make her happy at any cast. Now what amazing happened? 3 days back we were giving dinner and she was browsing my phone and she saw some kind of old chat which I did with my female friend in last year 6 months back. She starts shouting. As I cleared already in November. In that chat I wrote. I am tired. I am late from office I can't talk. I am going to sleep. Will talk to you tomorrow. She took this issue and till now she is not talking. Not picking up mu call. Just sometime text back with that you betray me. In my absence you were talking to others...

Guys I love my girls friend so much, more than myself. Advise me what I do. Please :(... How to make her understand. What act I do? Give me advices?

FightingBlues
Jan 18, 2013, 02:09 PM
First of all I think your girlfriend set unrealistic expectations in the beginning of the relationship by saying you couldn't be in touch with your female friends. Our significant others have no right to dictate who we should and should not hang out with however... if you have given her a justified reason to suspect that you're not being honest with her, then she has every right to mistrust you. You can't expect her to be calm if, for example, you promised you would no longer talk to your female friends and then behind her back you did it anyway. Of course she's going to feel upset and betrayed! She has every right to be if you have caused her to doubt you so many times before. After all, you are telling her that every time you talk to a female friend behind her back when she's asked you not to, you are disrespecting her and ultimately valuing that friendship more than her.

However, if she has had trust issues since the very beginning before you demonstrated any of this behaviour then she needs to grow up and realize that men and women can sustain healthy, innocent relationships with the opposite sex. If you hang out with these female friends in a group setting that shouldn't be a big deal if you're a trustworthy person. If you're just hanging out with one female friend at a time with no other friends around, then that type of behaviour is wrong.

If she's been cheated on or betrayed by someone else before in her past, or you have broken a few promises, it's understandable why she would react this way. But if she is not trusting in general then it's best to move on from this relationship as much as you love her. Things will only get worse as her insecurities and jealousies deepen.

talaniman
Jan 18, 2013, 02:10 PM
Your girlfriend is an insecure unreasonable nut that you let her treat you just any kind of way. She isn't the problem, you are because you put up with it. Leave anytime you want to because she ain't going to change.

Cat1864
Jan 18, 2013, 02:35 PM
I think you should leave her alone. She is insecure and is making you bear the burden of her issues. She needs to deal with whatever happened in her past to cause her to be so distrustful. By trying to 'obey' her, you are enabling her behavior. As you have already witnessed her behavior is becoming more controlling as you give in to her demands. It will only get worse from here if she doesn't help herself.

You may not see it because you are in love with her and want her to be happy, but you are allowing her to control you and your life. She is acting like your boss instead of your girlfriend or equal partner. That is not healthy for either of you.

In a healthy relationship, you both need time and space to be with friends and relax. You should be able to talk to whoever you wish without worrying about her reaction. As long as you aren't trying to cheat or do something else equally inappropriate, then what is the difference between talking to a male friend and female friend?

I would go about my life and, if she contacted me, I would ask her if she was ready to discuss the relationship like adults and set boundaries together. I would not allow her to continue to set all the rules.

timitamtimitam
Jan 19, 2013, 08:01 AM
DEAR FIGHTING - BLUES, TALANIMAN, CAT1864

I am very thankful to all of you. I am amazed to get replies so quick and very effective from you guys. I just submitted this inquiry, just like this that may be som1 will reply.

GOD WILL BLESS YOU FOR THIS

Guys I am agreed all of, May GOD bless you to spare a time for me. BUT I can't explain what I am feeling right know. I am not taking regular meals. I can't eat. I can't sleep. When I think about her my eyes become full of tears.. I used to be a happy person, Full of life, I was Gym Going, very healthy and fit. Happy with frinds. Now I am feeling like I am dying without her. Please help me. I want her back. The problem is that I never cheat her she just misunderstand me. I want to give her all possible happiness of the world.

SHE HAD SOME BAD EXPERIENCE IN HER PAST, SOME BODY CHEAT HER BIG TIME. BUT ITS NOT MY FAULT I NEVER DID. I LOVE HER SO MUCH MUCH

She told me that we fought that she will never reply my any message or calls or Emails. But she did reply my messages and email but not calls. What should I think there is a hope? We fought on Wednesday-16-1-2012. Today its 19. She is replying sometimes, saying, she is why you did this. Sometimes she says she will never come back to me. She will not get any person in her life. She don’t trust anyone. Last I told I will Pray to my GOD that I'll get you you back. She said OK lets if I ever come back to you which I am not sure … What does it mean?? There is a hope?

Now Guys what I want from you tell me how can I make her all right? What should I doo ? Shall I call again and again which she told me not to do? I am messaging her, keep telling her if you think I did mistake I am sorry. Keep yeeling her how much I love her. She is thinking I am not saying. She thinks I betrayed her. When I met her I had a que frinds and now I don’t have anyone. I left her everybody just bcoz of her. They were outgoing , parties, clubs kind of friends.

PLEASE give me advices , somebody told if you stp messaging her she will think that you moved on, which I cannot. GUYS I can't WORK IN OFFICE.. my life is stopped. I will be terminated. Please help to get her back. Please shall I send her something. Shall I go to to her office to meet her when she OFF. She tolf me and warned not to come in front of her..

HELP ME GUYS, GOD WILL BLESS YOU. I AM THANK FUL FOR YOUR TIME. IN ONE DAY 10 TIME TEARS COMES IN MY EYES. I FEEL PAIN IN MY HEART. I BECOME CRAZY IN LOVE. WHICH I NEVER THOUGHT PLEASE HELP ME

talaniman
Jan 19, 2013, 09:23 AM
My friend you make the same mistake after a failed relationship we all do. You focus so much on the pain you do not address the cause of he pain or the solution it.

Through her words and actions she has taken innocent thing and made them a weapon against you, and made you feel bad and your solution is to deal with your pain by taking extra good care of yourself.

That starts with leaving her alone so she can no longer torture you with her foul, unreasonable, immature behavior. Your love for such a person is not healthy and has become dependence, like a dope fiend who needs a fix, and even you know this is no good.

Its time to stop the dependence and your own poor regard for yourself by wanting someone that tears you down so much. Love yourself, and take care of yourself, because she won't.

Leave her alone, no matter what and get your soul healthy again. She deserves to be without a guy she kicks around so much. I mean does it make sense to you to kiss up beg, and degrade yourself to one such as this?

Make no sense to me, and I understand love when its healthy and happy. That's not what YOU had, and should be grateful she is gone and let her stay gone. So stop acting like a low life junkie, and let family and friends console and support you and get you through the hard parts of this, so you can see that a truly great thing has happened that opens the door for a much better path to true happiness.

Once you have gotten your dignity and self respect back my friend, you will see that things can be much BETTER than the way they were.