When I was younger, my brother used to molest. At the time, I didn't know it was molestation, I didn't put it together until not too long ago. I'm not sure when the molestation started, the earliest I remember is 5 years old but it might have been before then. My brother and I shared a bedroom when we were 5-9. He was a year old than me. I remember he used to tell me we were playing a game and he would touch me, and I'd have to show him my privates. I knew I couldn't tell my mom because I knew it was bad but inside my heart I guess I figured my brother wouldn't hurt me, I didn't really know what I was doing I guess. I always felt like it was my fault though. I do remember, in kindergarten I got in trouble for humping a chair and I remember I would hump the pillows too. I don't know if that had to do with it as well.

It stopped when I was about 9, but I just recently put it together. I'm 16 now. Most of my childhood is kind of blanked out, maybe that's why. I started researching on it and I'm not putting things together. I also crave attention from guys. I don't have a boyfriend, never have, but I've always dreamed about it. I also did some stuff with a guy I regret doing simply because he told me I was pretty and complimented me.

I'm not sure if the molestation really affected me or what I should do?

I realized I do get really jealous/upset when my parents act like he's an angel. I get in trouble for the dumbest things and he never gets in trouble for anything, maybe I have hidden resentment to him. I'm not really sure. I'm just confused to be honest. Thanks

Tell your parents and get into counseling

You need to tell your parents. If you feel you cannot, find a counselor at school and speak to him or her.