Hello, I'm in bit of a pickle and need some help. I have been single about 2 years. I joined a dating site after I left my ex. An attractive girl got in touch with me, supposedly she was 18. It doesn't bother me dating someone younger providing they're an adult. Anyway we were chatting for a couple of weeks and I started to really like her but it turned out she was only 14 years old (at the time). I straight away broke it off and blocked her but this girl is persistent.

For well over a year now she has been chasing me on Facebook using her friends accounts or making fake profiles, it makes no difference how many I block after a month or so she will be back chasing me. The last time I blocked her was about 4 months ago and she popped up about 2 weeks ago. Once again a fake profile and I fell for it and gave her my number. I have never even met this girl and she only lives a few streets away but she constantly texts and calls me. I have tried to make her see sense and have even tried being really nasty to no avail. She is constantly telling me she loves me and that she won't stop until she gets me.

She will be 16 in 3 months making her legal in this country as she keeps reminding me. If I'm honest I do fancy her as she is good looking and pretty mature considering. I just feel wrong about it all, I never even met the girl but starting to consider it. I have never married and got no kids. I know its wrong and she has her whole life ahead of her and I will be old while she is still young but its getting hard to block out these feelings. Can anyone give me some advice please?

Legal age in what country ?

You had better develop a mindset to just leave this pursuit alone is my advise to you. You are already faltering and this is not good for either one of you.

Legal age in what country ?

You had better develop a mindset to just leave this pursuit alone is my advise to you. You are already faltering and this is not good for either one of you.

In the UK. How am I faltering? And I am not perusing anything.

Maybe I should ask for advice on how I can stop HER perusing ME?

You stated you have considered meeting her, so to my way of thinking, you have possibly encouraged her in this as well.

To all intents, she is stalking you; you can call the police and make them aware, but this would only draw attention to the fact that a minor is interested in an older man which would not look good at the moment as she is still a minor, and yes, I checked, she will be legal at l6 in the UK. But why do you think she is mature, her pursuit of you does not indicate in any way she is a mature indvidual.

If you really want to stop her, you will not initiate conversation with her on any site, and you will ignore her advances in any way shape or form.

Are you so lonely or needy that you would even consider a relationship with this girl at your age; can you not find someone your own age?

You stated you have considered meeting her, so to my way of thinking, you have quite possibly encouraged her in this as well.

To all intents, she is stalking you; you can call the police and make them aware, but this would only draw attention to the fact that a minor is interested in an older man which would not look good at the moment as she is still a minor, and yes, i checked, she will be legal at l6 in the UK. But why do you think she is mature, her pursuit of you does not indicate in any way she is a mature indvidual.

If you really want to stop her, you will not initiate conversation with her on any site, and you will ignore her advances in any way shape or form.

Are you so lonely or needy that you would even consider a relationship with this girl at your age; can you not find someone your own age?

Just from the way she talks and the things she says.

At no point have I suggested Im lonely, needy or considering having a relationship with her hence me asking for advice on how to stop HER chasing ME!

If you look back on my previous post I did say that it makes no difference blocking or ignoring her she won't leave me alone!

Thanks for taking the time to reply I guess if I just continue blocking and ignoring eventually she will come to her senses even better find someone her own age.

I was only considering meeting her hoping she would see how much older I am and how ridiculous it is. While I find her attractive Im old enough to know not to act on feelings.

I just want her to stop chasing ME! LOL. I can express how much this girl is on my case!

Agreed, this girl is stalking you. However, mature she may appear in written communications, the fact that she refuses to take "LEAVE ME ALONE" seriously, raises lots of red flags.

You say she only lives a few streets away. That would indicate you have an address for her. I would write to her parents. Tell them you started corresponding in the belief that that she was 18, but cut her off when you learned her true age. Tell them you are writing to them because she won't leave you alone. Detail the stalking. DO NOT mention your feelings for her, simply ask them to help in stopping her before you are forced to go to the police to get a restraining order.

Agreed, this girl is stalking you. However, mature she may appear in written communications, the fact that she refuses to take "LEAVE ME ALONE" seriously, raises lots of red flags.

You say she only lives a few streets away. That would indicate you have an address for her. I would write to her parents. Tell them you started corresponding in the belief that that she was 18, but cut her off when you learned her true age. Tell them you are writing to them because she won't leave you alone. Detail the stalking. DO NOT mention your feelings for her, simply ask them to help in stopping her before you are forced to go to the police to get a restraining order.

I don't have her address neither does she mine we just live in the same area which is not particularly big.

She is latching on to me as she is always talking how her mum is a drunk, gives her no attention and leaves her to bring up her younger sister.

From what I gather she has practically raised herself from a young age.

I don't really want to get the police involved but if I have to I have to.

I have not told anyone other than this forum of my feelings and they are not strong anyway.

I just get worried she will do something stupid to herself and I do feel sorry for her.

As well as contacting her parents, I might type a one page summary of events and file a police report, and if the police say you have to have a specific complain, I would get the RO now. Sometimes when a spurned stalker is backed into a corner (such as by parents) they lie, lie, lie to retaliate.
She may be attractive but she has a screw loose and could be dangerous.

As well as contacting her parents, I might type a one page summary of events and file a police report, and if the police say you have to have a specific complain, I would get the RO now. Sometimes when a spurned stalker is backed into a corner (such as by parents) they lie, lie, lie to retaliate.
She may be attractive but she has a screw loose and could be dangerous.

What do you mean the RO?

This is creepy. You are 34 and we have to tell you how to deal with a 14/15 year old? How have you made it to 34 without us?

RO is Restraining Order


This is creepy. You are 34 and we have to tell you how to deal with a 14/15 year old? How have you made it to 34 without us?

C'mon give the guy a break. Having a teenager pursuing an adult is not that common. The OP immediately cut her off, but she has been contacting him through phony IDs. Not easy to deter someone like that without the police.

This is creepy. You are 34 and we have to tell you how to deal with a 14/15 year old? How have you made it to 34 without us?

Thanks! You don't have to tell me anything. This girl won't leave me alone. Im asking for advice not judgements!

RO is Restraining Order



C'mon give the guy a break. Having a teenager pursuing an adult is not that common. The OP immediately cut her off, but she has been contacting him through phony IDs. Not easy to deter someone like that without the police.

"I'm honest i do fancy her as she is good looking and pretty mature considering."

Maybe I was a little harsh. But in this country he would be a featured man on To Catch a Predator should something happen. He's 34. What in common would he have with an almost 16 year old? Cutting someone off is really not that difficult. But my apologies to the OP.

"I'm honest i do fancy her as she is good looking and pretty mature considering."

Maybe I was a little harsh. But in this country he would be a featured man on To Catch a Predator should something happen. He's 34. What in common would he have with an almost 16 year old? Cutting someone off is really not that difficult. But my apologies to the OP.

We would have absolutely nothing in common and absolutely nothing will come of it. I was only being honest myself.

Apology accepted but if you could tell me how you are supposed to ignore a person that is using fake accounts Im all ears!

Also could you please explain what Im doing that's predatory? **a few choice words directed at you**

Also could you please explain what Im doing that's predatory? **a few choice words directed at you**

Assuming nothing has happened to this point you have done nothing that is predatory. In the US having a sexual conversation over chat or email is against the law with someone this young.

If you want to be clean and totally above board on this, I would recommend you stop all communication. Even though you cut her off in the beginning, you do know a lot about her so communication has continued. Just my opinion but I would stay totally away from this. But then again I don't do Facebook because I find it totally boring.

Assuming nothing has happened to this point you have done nothing that is predatory. In the US having a sexual conversation over chat or email is against the law with someone this young.

If you want to be clean and totally above board on this, I would recommend you stop all communication. Even though you cut her off in the beginning, you do know a lot about her so communication has continued. Just my opinion but I would stay totally away from this. But then again I don't do Facebook because I find it totally boring.

I have never even met the girl! And why would you think Im having sexual conversations with a girl Im on here asking for advice to leave me alone?

Yes, I have conversed with her (Im unsure if you have noticed) because she makes fake accounts and pretends to be someone else!

Im not here to argue with judgmental assumption makers so unless you have some constructive advice please don't comment as whether you use Facebook or not is totally irrelevant!

This arguing back and forth isn't going to help you.

I can say that I have been in a similar situation but it was with someone that was a legal adult. The situation was similar because she would not leave me alone. She also made fake profiles and such to talk to me. She spread lies about me. It was a mess. And I never even did anything with her other than simply talk to her on a forum... at some point she decided that she was mine although I am married. She finally did get the idea and latched onto some other poor victim. I said all this just to put it out in the open that it is possible to be stalked like this without you even encouraging it.

What do you do about it? I think some of the advice you've gotten so far is pretty good and should be followed.

Good luck with this.

This arguing back and forth isn't going to help you.

I can say that I have been in a similar situation but it was with someone that was a legal adult. The situation was similar because she would not leave me alone. She also made fake profiles and such to talk to me. She spread lies about me. It was a mess. And I never even did anything with her other than simply talk to her on a forum....at some point she decided that she was mine although I am married. She finally did get the idea and latched onto some other poor victim. I said all this just to put it out in the open that it is possible to be stalked like this without you even encouraging it.

What do you do about it? I think some of the advice you've gotten so far is pretty good and should be followed.

Good luck with this.

I agree, thank you!

RO = restraining order. I don't know what they call it where you live.
I think many people automatically jump to conclusions based on stereotypes of older men and teenage girls. I think you are handling the responses you get here very calmly, considering.

It has been brought to my attention by you and countless others that my first post on this subject was uncalled for. So please accept my apologies. I wish you luck in this situation.

Do you frequently "friend" people on FB that you are not friends with in real life? Maybe it would be best to decline the FB friend requests until she gets the message.

I never accept a friend request on FB unless I know who that person is in real life.

Do you frequently "friend" people on FB that you are not friends with in real life? Maybe it would be best to decline the FB friend requests until she gets the message.

I don't accept any friends requests but it doesn't stop people sending me messages.

I will continue to block and ignore if it doesn't stop I will talk to the police.

Again, assumptions... this time friending on FB, which you never mentioned you did.

Upon further thought, however, it isn't just your honest admission that you were intrigued that is a little puzzling. You have this stalker, you know she uses friends and fake profiles, yet you gave out your phone number to one of them without caution.

So.. although I think we have wrung you through the wringer a bit, some of it is understandable.

I think you should get off line for several months. There are other ways you can meet people for dating purposes in person, such as singles groups that get together for dinner and other social events. If you meet people in person, you will know who you are dealing with a lot better than on-line.

Every time this girl contacts you if she finds your email or phone tell her, "I consider this harassment. Do not contact me." If she contacts you after you say this once, contact the police and ask them to intervene.

And know - this girl, with her multiple profiles - is probably doing this to multiple men. Don't start thinking that you're the only guy. This is how she feeds her ego and entertains herself, by creating a bunch of profiles to create a bunch of fake relationships with a lot of people. In fact, she may not be a girl at all. She could be 60 for all you know. And your thought that she's mature? Uhm, no - the words I'd use to describe this would be crazy, immature, needy, self-absorbed, liar.

Getting involved with this alleged young "her" is really a dumb, dumb idea. Besides being underage, she's also nuts. You're better off to meet a women your age at church, a pub, doing some sort of charity work, or through singles events or a dating service that does not rely on computers. Stop hiding behind your computer and go meet people in person.

After reading everyone's posts to you I would just like to add one thing. If you do not take anyone's advice please just do one thing. Protect yourself from any legal backlash this person could create against you. You must be able to prove that you have did nothing to encourage any of her persistent attention. You need to make a log of every time she has contacted you. Even all the aliases she has used. Then go to the police and make a report if for no other reason than to have it on record so she cannot come back and turn the whole mess around on you. Then I would do as, Dontknownuthin suggested, and let her know " you consider this harrassment and do not contact me anymore" I would not waver from this statement. Do not reply in any other way. Then I would let the police handle it if she continues. In doing this you are not sending anything that could be construed as a "mixed" message to her and you will stay in the right in the eyes of the law. And believe me you do not want it any other way if you value your freedom and don't want to vacation in jail. That is why girls such as her are referred to as "Jail Bait" Please for your own sake do what you must to protect yourself. I hope that what I have said and the others will help you and influence you to do what is smart. Good Luck.

I agree Kraft... this could be an effort to set you up. Go proactively to the police with her various aliases and profile names and ask if they would have any means of tracking her down and talking to her parents about her dangerous behavior.

Again, "She" may not be a young girl at all - you could be communicating with a 60 year old guy for all you know. People who make fake profiles are probably creating alter egos as well. Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men.

I agree Kraft...this could be an effort to set you up. Go proactively to the police with her various aliases and profile names and ask if they would have any means of tracking her down and talking to her parents about her dangerous behavior.

Again, "She" may not be a young girl at all - you could be communicating with a 60 year old guy for all you know. People who make fake profiles are probably creating alter egos as well. Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men.

"Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men." We could also call this person a nut case without slamming the whole gay community.

But I agree with you and think about it. What 15/16 year old goes to this length? And if she is as attractive as stated, she would be getting hit on in school and wouldn't need this attention.

I agree Kraft...this could be an effort to set you up. Go proactively to the police with her various aliases and profile names and ask if they would have any means of tracking her down and talking to her parents about her dangerous behavior.

Again, "She" may not be a young girl at all - you could be communicating with a 60 year old guy for all you know. People who make fake profiles are probably creating alter egos as well. Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men.

I never thought about this angle. Someone "posing" and I totally agree.

This is what police do to catch pedophiles as well.

Not slamming the whole gay community. My point is that the poster may well not be who they claim to be.

One example of motivation to create a fake profile to flirt with a man would be if a person is attracted to men but cannot openly admit to it. This might be explained if the person was gay but not able for whatever reason to come out and live honestly as a gay person, or possibly if they are transgender and wish to be a young girl, but are not physically a young girl. It could also be a woman in her forties or fifties who's lonely, or a straight guy doing this as a gag, or a group of friends who create fake profiles to amuse themselves. I didn't mean the examples to be exhaustive - just to make the point that he shouldn't take anything this person has claimed at face value.

I don't think I implied in any way that all or most gay or transgender people create fake profiles and stalk people on the internet. It was more of an, "for all you know, it could be this guy, or that guy...."

Not slamming the whole gay community. My point is that the poster may well not be who they claim to be.

One example of motivation to create a fake profile to flirt with a man would be if a person is attracted to men but cannot openly admit to it. This might be explained if the person was gay but not able for whatever reason to come out and live honestly as a gay person, or possibly if they are transgender and wish to be a young girl, but are not physically a young girl. It could also be a woman in her forties or fifties who's lonely, or a straight guy doing this as a gag, or a group of friends who create fake profiles to amuse themselves. I didn't mean the examples to be exhaustive - just to make the point that he shouldn't take anything this person has claimed at face value.

I don't think I implied in any way that all or most gay or transgender people create fake profiles and stalk people on the internet. It was more of an, "for all you know, it could be this guy, or that guy...."

Gracias. I didn't take offense to it and I usually don't when it comes to gay things. I've lived long enough to know we aren't accept on every corner.

But I do agree with you. I don't get stalking behavior but that is probably a very good thing.