Today was my mom's birthday, and I didn't get her anything. Usually I'd get her a card, but it seems like birthdays are no big deal. I can't even remember the last time they got me a birthday present. I just hugged her, and told her happy birthday. And thus, my step father barged into my room, and looked at me like I was the scum of the Earth for not buying my mother a card. Does that make me a bad daughter?

You could have made a card (handmade or on the computer). Yeah, she's your mom, so whether she gives you a card, it's a nice thank you for feeding and clothing you if you recognize her birthday with good wishes (and maybe a coupon book of chores you will do for her).

One action or failure to act does not make you a "bad" daughter. It does mean that you were inconsiderate and thoughtless about your mother's birthday this year. It's not too late - get or make her a card and say something sincere and kind in it such as, "So sorry for my thoughtlessness in not recognizing you on your birthday. I should not have taken you for granted. I love you and I appreciate all you do for me throughout every year."

As for her not remembering you on your birthday, if it happens again I think that it is appropriate to tell her, "It hurts my feelings that you don't think of me on my birthday. I was thoughtless about yours, too. Can we not do that to each other any more? I think we can do better."

Yes you should have given her a card, the fact he went to your room, means that she was upset and most likely either said something to him or he could see how it bothered here.

You can have another way to express your love to your mum... Best wishes.

One action or failure to act does not make you a "bad" daughter. It does mean that you were inconsiderate and thoughtless about your mother's birthday this year. It's not too late - get or make her a card and say something sincere and kind in it such as, "So sorry for my thoughtlessness in not recognizing you on your birthday. I should not have taken you for granted. I love you and I appreciate all you do for me throughout every year."

As for her not remembering you on your birthday, if it happens again I think that it is appropriate to tell her, "It hurts my feelings that you don't think of me on my birthday. I was thoughtless about yours, too. Can we not do that to each other any more? I think we can do better."

Well.. I had made her a pastel of the sea, because she loves aquariums and such.. But I didn't think it was good enough, because I messed up on one of the fish.. She wasn't upset that I didn't get her anything, my step dad just over reacts to.. Everything. I told my mom about the pastel, and she demanded to see it, and she loves it. ^_^

I don't think he over-reacted. It sounds like you and your mom are in a habit of being lazy with your care for each other, claiming these things "don't matter" and excusing each other for these things. In fact, it does matter and you are old enough now to understand it. Take the time to tell your mom how much you love her and never miss a mother's day, birthday, Christmas or other special occasion again with your mom. She can't help not be hurt, nor can you, to be forgotten or overlooked or to know that the other person decided that you were such a low priority that your own daughter, or own mother, didn't recognize your birthday or whatever the occasion.

You should thank your step father for pointing out the error, and reminding both of you that you owe each other more consideration and appreciation. He was right to step in and shouldn't be called out for "over-reacting". He saw someone mistreated and stepped in. That's the right thing to do.