I'm 20 years old , I never tried tampons before... And I'm a virgin..
When I was 14 mom told me I should never get anything near my vagina so I don't break my hymen, but she didn't tell me where or how the hymen would look like..
But using a mirror I can see a piece of flesh crossing my vaginal hole..
I thought that this is how every girl's hymen would look like.. Until a month ago I did some researches about hymens.. And I figured out there's something called septate hymen that looks exactly like the thing I see everyday with the mirror..
I told my fiancée about that, so he told me no one can see the hymen using only a mirror because hymen is deep in vaginal tunnel... and it needs a doctor to use special equipments to examine it...

So, now I'm really confused because I can see something that exactly looks like the septate hymen but it's at the entrance of the vaginal hole.. Not actually deep in there... And I'm really embarrassed to tell my parents about that.. So I can't visit the doctor...
Help!!

Please Google to find a reputable medical web site to help you learn about female anatomy. The hymen is not internal, but is near the opening of the vagina. Here is one good site: http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/hymen.html

Is the hymen important in your country or culture? I don't understand your preoccupation with it and how you look.

Your mother is wrong, first of all. Using a tampon does not destroy your virginity. A tampon does not go deep enough in your body to break your hymen.

Second, your fiancé is correct - you cannot see your hymen with a mirror. It is internal and to see it, a doctor would need to use a speculum and light.

Where do you live that you need to involve your parents in seeing a doctor, as an engaged, 20 year old woman? Can't you just simply go to a doctor or woman's clinic? The fact that you are getting married is an excellent reason to go for your first complete physical including a gynecological exam, which you probably should have already had a few years ago as a teenager. If you are marrying, it is time to take on responsibility for your own medical care and appointments. If you are in a country where parents must be involved due to restricted rights of women, I would recommend you seek out a clinic. Or wait until you are married given that you have been comfortable speaking about this with your fiancé, and if you need a man's permission to go to the doctor, get his permission.

If you are in a western country, just go to the doctor - you're a grown woman and need no permission from anyone.

It is highly unlikely that there is anything in the world wrong with your physical anatomy. You clearly need to learn more about your body though, and since you're getting married, this would be a good time to learn it.

In my country, we are not allowed to have sex until we're married.. So hymen is really a big issue... So, doctors can't examine girls unless he gets my parent's written permission

Thanks a lot for your help.. I'll check the site and tell you what I got

Well, it's unfortunate that you don't have better human rights but after you marry, your husband can perhaps consent to you seeing a doctor. If you haven't had sex, you're still a virgin. As for your other concerns, don't worry about it - you are mistaken and are fine.

Your mother is wrong, first of all. Using a tampon does not destroy your virginity. A tampon does not go deep enough in your body to break your hymen.

Second, your fiance is correct - you cannot see your hymen with a mirror. It is internal and to see it, a doctor would need to use a speculum and light.

Where do you live that you need to involve your parents in seeing a doctor, as an engaged, 20 year old woman? Can't you just simply go to a doctor or woman's clinic? The fact that you are getting married is an excellent reason to go for your first complete physical including a gynecological exam, which you probably should have already had a few years ago as a teenager. If you are marrying, it is time to take on responsibility for your own medical care and appointments. If you are in a country where parents must be involved due to restricted rights of women, I would recommend you seek out a clinic. Or wait until you are married given that you have been comfortable speaking about this with your fiance, and if you need a man's permission to go to the doctor, get his permission.

If you are in a western country, just go to the doctor - you're a grown woman and need no permission from anyone.

it is highly unlikely that there is anything in the world wrong with your physical anatomy. You clearly need to learn more about your body though, and since you're getting married, this would be a good time to learn it.

I don't use them because of that piece of flesh that Crosses my vaginal entrance..
Ok if he's correct, then what's that thing I see using my mirror?
I live in Egypt.. And to examine hymen ,I need a written permission from my parents.. Because the doctor could be accused of breaking my hymen.. And that would destroy his reputation as a doctor..
I'm not getting married soon.. I'm getting married after 2 or 3 years..

And I just can't wait till I get married.. Because my wedding day is the first day I can have sex at, and I don't think there is a man that can resist having sex when it's finally allowed after waiting for it more than 2 years..
And I just heard that if I have septate hymen it would get infected when it breaks at my first intercourse..

Well, I can't imagine it would ever be remotely possible for a woman to see her own hymen with a mirror so I think you are worrying about nothing.

If you are concerned generally about whether your anatomy is normal, talk to your mother and ask if you can go to a doctor just to be checked out for peace of mind. It's embarrassing to discuss such a thing with your parents, but that's better than worrying for years.

I've never heard of a doctor breaking a woman's hymen through the course of normal health care. I think there are some excessive concerns going on. I used tampons for years and also had many medical exams and even some gynecological surgery for excessive bleeding when I was young, but was still a virgin.

Well, I can't imagine it would ever be remotely possible for a woman to see her own hymen with a mirror so I think you are worrying about nothing.

If you are concerned generally about whether your anatomy is normal, talk to your mother and ask if you can go to a doctor just to be checked out for peace of mind. It's embarassing to discuss such a thing with your parents, but that's better than worrying for years.

I've never heard of a doctor breaking a woman's hymen through the course of normal health care. I think there are some excessive concerns going on. I used tampons for years and also had many medical exams and even some gynecological surgery for excessive bleeding when I was young, but was still a virgin.

I'll try and tell her because I just can't even get a tampon in.. So how would I ever be possibly getting married :$

Well, yea there are some cases that medical mistakes happened and doctors broke girls hymens.. And after this, a written permission from the parents is required to do so

According to all the medical sites I checked, the hymen is visible to the naked eye because it is located just inside the entrance to the vagina and stretches across it. There is an opening for menstrual blood [and perhaps for tampons]. A septate hymen has two openings. The hymen is NOT deep inside the vagina.

From http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/female-reproductive-system/hymen-dictionary.htm --

"A hymen is the thin piece of tissue that partially blocks the entrance to the vagina. It is sometimes called the maidenhead or cherry. It is named after the Greek god of marriage and has no known biological function.

Although some women are born without a hymen, most have one, and the hymen varies in size and shape from woman to woman. The hymen usually does not cover the entire vaginal opening, since there must be some way for the menstrual fluid, or period, to leave the body."

It can be accidentally broken due to sports or exercise or just whenever, and it can be manually stretched and/or broken on purpose before first intercourse to avoid bleeding and pain.

According to all the medical sites I checked, the hymen is visible to the naked eye because it is located just inside the entrance to the vagina and stretches across it. There is an opening for menstrual blood [and perhaps for tampons]. A septate hymen has two openings. The hymen is NOT deep inside the vagina.

from http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/female-reproductive-system/hymen-dictionary.htm --

"A hymen is the thin piece of tissue that partially blocks the entrance to the vagina. It is sometimes called the maidenhead or cherry. It is named after the Greek god of marriage and has no known biological function.

Although some women are born without a hymen, most have one, and the hymen varies in size and shape from woman to woman. The hymen usually does not cover the entire vaginal opening, since there must be some way for the menstrual fluid, or period, to leave the body."

It can be accidentally broken due to sports or exercise or just whenever, and it can be manually stretched and/or broken on purpose before first intercourse to avoid bleeding and pain.

Yeah I can see it with my naked eye and yea it looks like It has two openings.. So would it be a septate hymen?

According to all the medical sites I checked, the hymen is visible to the naked eye because it is located just inside the entrance to the vagina and stretches across it. There is an opening for menstrual blood [and perhaps for tampons]. A septate hymen has two openings. The hymen is NOT deep inside the vagina.

from http://health.howstuffworks.com/sexual-health/female-reproductive-system/hymen-dictionary.htm --

"A hymen is the thin piece of tissue that partially blocks the entrance to the vagina. It is sometimes called the maidenhead or cherry. It is named after the Greek god of marriage and has no known biological function.

Although some women are born without a hymen, most have one, and the hymen varies in size and shape from woman to woman. The hymen usually does not cover the entire vaginal opening, since there must be some way for the menstrual fluid, or period, to leave the body."

It can be accidentally broken due to sports or exercise or just whenever, and it can be manually stretched and/or broken on purpose before first intercourse to avoid bleeding and pain.

And it looks exactly like the picture of septate hymen in the site you gave to me in the first comment